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    amberlynn's Avatar
    amberlynn Posts: 47, Reputation: -1
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    #1

    Apr 3, 2008, 08:27 AM
    Am I in the wrong?
    So my ex plays this game
    And if you read any of my other posts about him,

    You know our situation.
    If you haven't, go read them now.
    Cause it's a long story and I'm not going to re-explain.
    But put it this way, he was my first love.
    And he has changed a lot.

    He hasn't talked to me in about a month since we had sex.
    Cause we did it again in early March.

    Hasn't called or said hi.
    Just looks at me and looks away and keeps walking.

    Every time I get his notions and decide
    That it's over, were not getting anywhere,
    And that I should just start to forget him
    He comes back to me!
    He'll call me or come up and hug me
    For a good whole minute.

    But what do I do?
    Should I tell him everything I feel?
    Before it's too late,
    I need help on this.
    Seriously, don't tell me to get over it.
    I've heard it,
    Breake's Avatar
    Breake Posts: 30, Reputation: 5
    Junior Member
     
    #2

    Apr 3, 2008, 10:06 AM
    You are asking what to do, yet telling us what you want our answer to be.

    This is not a healthy relationship.
    workedtoohard's Avatar
    workedtoohard Posts: 58, Reputation: 6
    Junior Member
     
    #3

    Apr 3, 2008, 04:12 PM
    I wish girls were as simple as that guy is to figure out. He is using you for sex. He has you (sex), realizes that you aren't the one, feels bad, swears to himself he will never do it again, and finally avoids you. Then when he gets really horny again... well you know (sweet talk, hugs, etc). You don't have to get rid of him, he will just eventually find someone else.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #4

    Apr 3, 2008, 10:04 PM
    seriously, don't tell me to get over it.
    I've heard it,
    Then the question is why haven't you done it? His actions have spoken for him so now what? You need action, not more questions.
    kp2171's Avatar
    kp2171 Posts: 5,318, Reputation: 1612
    Uber Member
     
    #5

    Apr 3, 2008, 10:20 PM
    Hmmm...

    I'm going to be blunt, maybe an arse on this one, nothing new for me I guess...

    The guy gets to screw you, then ignore you, then hug you, and string you along.

    And you don't want me to tell you to get over him.

    Guess I have nothing to say other than you get the respect you demand, and sometimes not even that.

    If you are OK with getting screwed and manipulated, keep it up. If that's not OK (and its not) get the hell over him.

    Now... I know its not that easy. I dated my first love for almost 7 years. And spent nearly 1.5 of those trying to hold together a relationship that was sunk. The comfort of the "known" was too hard to walk away from.

    Man... I wish id known then what I do now. What a waste of time.

    So... you like him still. Fine. Back the hell off and make him chase you down. Not hug. Not mental games. Make him work his arse off. If he isn't willing to do so when you aren't sleeping with him, then don't sleep with him.

    Things might have been fine at one time. They aren't now. Don't treat him like he's the same guy. He isn't.

    He's the guy who is screwing with your head. You are the girl who is letting him.

    Stop it.

    Or do as I did... get kicked to the curb over and over until you finally get a clue.

    It took me almost two years to get over my first big love... man what a waste of time. It was good when it was good, but it was awful at the end when the head games started.

    Next time he comes to hug you, push him away. Do it. Please... just once.

    You need to take back some control. Hell... even if you got back together, which I think is a bad idea, you need to take back control.

    He shouldn't have his hands on you. Period.

    The comfort of the familiar only works for so long... and then after a time you decide it just isn't worth all the noise. I'm hoping you are closer to that point than not.

    Do you think he's online posting about you? How to win you back? I know... that's harsh... but its his reality, not mine.

    Get over him. You don't have to like the advice. But you will have to do it. Sooner is better than later.

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