Hello. First I want to apologize if I make some mistakes but English is not my native language.

Me and my boyfriend are together for about 2 years already. When we met we lived in different countries 3000 km from each other. We managed to meet each other almost every month and whenever we could we used to spend every second talking online. Some time ago he asked to marry him and I said yes. He was one of those people who weren't afraid to share their feelings and was being really nice to me all the time. I would like to think I was the same with him as well. We used to do all these small things for each other, say nice things, made plans for our future together. We decided to get married when I move to live with him. All those months he showed me and my family he is very serious about me and he loves me very much so 2 months ago I moved to his country. And then all changed..

I live with a complete stranger. I prepared my documents for our wedding (which cost me a lot of money since I had to translate and legalize all of them) and then when I arrived and I mentioned that he said - yeah, we will do it and that was it. Every day he gets colder and colder, stopped even saying he loved me.. Compliments and nice words don't even exist anymore. I try to show him how much I love him and I appreciate him but he just doesn't seem to care. I tried to talk to him not so long ago and he was telling me everything is okay, I shouldn't worry, he still loves me.. When I ask why he just stopped saying 'I love you' or even bother to kiss me if I don't do it, he replies that it isn't true and he does. He spends a lot of time playing computer games, reading news and sometimes it happens for me to go to bed before him. Whenever this happens he goes to another bed, when I ask why his answer is that the dog sleeps in my feet and he didn't want to move him.. We go to sleep together and most of the time we wake up in different beds and I have no explanations for that and he claims it is not true.

It is really confusing with me because I am trying to have a conversation with him and he tells me it is all great but then his actions speak otherwise. I told him my papers expire in 20 days (which means they will not be valid after) and we should decide about the wedding (I can't stay in the country if he doesn't marry me) and not only that but our families deserve to know as well.. His answer was - we will do it, no problem. Yes but I don't want to marry a guy who doesn't even show any emotion about that. And then when I really begin to give up and I am almost thinking it will be better to go back home and continue with my life without him, he decides to be nice for some time (which means actually kissing me or holding my hand when we are out) and then in an hour everything is back to 'normal'. I make him small presents sometimes, cook for him some nice things, trying to do something to surprise him but he just says 'thanks' and more or less that's it.

Do you have any advice for me? Thank you in advance.

If you don't like him now, when you guys have been together for so little time I would suggest for you to move on, these guy doesn't seem that interested in you. And to marry him? That would be crazy. When you moved in with him you said you felt you were living with a complete stranger... he IS a complete stranger!! Leave and find someone who is going to show you the attention you need.

Quite telling there is no honest communications to resolve things but after two years, you have enough of a preview to tell if this is the way you want your future marriage to go.

Seems you were better on line buddies than you are as a couple that lives together. It happens but marriage certainly shouldn't be an option at this point.

Sounded better on line than it does in person.

Oh boy, so familiar.
I was in the same situation as you and understand completely what you are going through. I moved 4000 miles away for a guy I wanted to marry and lived in the same kind of environment for months... You coped with everything until now, waited for that moment to come and now you see all the red flags. You try to ignore them but they are just there and nothing is changing.

For what it's worth, I had the courage to pack my stuff and leave and now I know it was for the best. It's already hard to live away from home and at the end of the day, what really matters is if the person you wake up next to is worth the trouble. If you have doubts, don't force it. If he can't make you happy now, you will only regret it more after a divorce.

I wish you the best of luck and lots of courage, whatever you decide.