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bj88 · Jun 7, 2009, 04:44 PM

Hey people:) Since the last bit of advice I asked for off here was unbelievably good I'd thought I'd gove it another shot with another problem I'm having (diffrent girl!). I had been seeing this girl for a while now and although we split (her choice) we have remained great friends. Anyway its painfully obvious that I want her back and as such I feel sometimes she takes advantage by allowing, even asking on some occasions, for me to pay for things she enjoys. Im 22 have inherited my own family fairly successful family business and therefore money is not the problem, It just seems that she is never there unless there is some sort of gain for her! She was never like this, only since I inherited the business and I just want things back the way they were. Any advice?

griffers90 · Jun 7, 2009, 04:59 PM

I think that she may have lost her feelings for you before when you two split up. She clearly is no friend if she is only ever in sight when there is benefit for her. It sounds like she is enticed by your money and that is all that is keeping her near at all.

I hate giving this kind of advice but she sounds like a selfish and spoilt young woman. I would stop trying to get things back the way they were from what you've said even if you two do get back together there won't be love in her eyes just money signs.

Please go find yourself a nice young lady who loves you for you and not your bank balance. There are plenty out there don't settle for those that would just use you for all you have.

Stay safe
Becky x

griffers90 · Jun 7, 2009, 05:00 PM

P.s. there is a post called what to expect when you break up it's brilliant and I think it would really help you through.

I wish · Jun 7, 2009, 05:05 PM

Sounds like a gold digger. Furthermore, if after all your efforts she still doesn't want you back, then she's not going to want you back later on either.

She's just using you for your money now. If you want, you can continue to let her use you. Or, you can smarten up and move on with your life.

Find someone who actually respects you.

bj88 · Jun 7, 2009, 05:08 PM

Cheers peeps. Just very hard to see a person change so much from someone I loved deeply to someone who only wants me for one thing. Deep down I think cutting her out of my life is the best thing but its so hard when all I can think about is how good and sweet she was.

bj88 · Jun 7, 2009, 05:09 PM

P.S thanks becky will look into it.

I wish · Jun 7, 2009, 05:12 PM

Originally Posted by bj88

Cheers peeps. Just very hard to see a person change so much from someone I loved deeply to someone who only wants me for one thing. Deep down I think cutting her out of my life is the best thing but its so hard when all I can think about is how good and sweet she was.

She's not the same person anymore. It's time to move forward. Look in front of you, not in back.

Blocking out of your life will be tough, but it will help you in the long run. You just got to have faith. The pain will get easier, just give yourself time. Easier said than done, but it's just how it works.

N0help4u · Jun 7, 2009, 05:23 PM

You need to cut ties with her. She has dumped the 'love' side of you but wants to hold on to the convenience. Basically even though she may not be doing it intentionally she wants the financial benefit but you can't buy love so don't waste your time or money on her.

taoplr · Jun 7, 2009, 05:42 PM

Take to heart what people are telling you here. Not only did she change, you are changing. Let be in a satisfying direction. Don't waste a moment with her.

liz28 · Jun 7, 2009, 05:46 PM

In the future watch out for girls that are only after your wallet.

Don't tell anyone about your inheritance and don't let your kindness be your downfall because people know when they can take advantage and they will just take and take--if you allow it.

Syzygy · Jun 7, 2009, 07:54 PM

Originally Posted by bj88

Cheers peeps. Just very hard to see a person change so much from someone I loved deeply to someone who only wants me for one thing. Deep down I think cutting her out of my life is the best thing but its so hard when all I can think about is how good and sweet she was.

I know that change can be hard to accept. You always long for what you had - the good times the seemingly perfect sweet girl. You always want to relive those moments and share it with that same girl.

The reality is that people change and often never change back. You are going to have to force yourself to accept the fact that those special moments are in the past and that girl is no longer the same girl anymore.

It will be hard to let go because of the memories but you are going to have to.

none12345 · Jun 7, 2009, 08:48 PM

You guys are just friends now. Don't let her take an advantage of you. Don't always pay. Friends don't take advantage of each other and if you feel like she is, let her know and don't be around her anymore because she is not a good friend.