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    Chloe18's Avatar
    Chloe18 Posts: 3, Reputation: 2
    New Member
     
    #1

    Jan 17, 2011, 12:29 PM
    Am I a nice girlfriend, or am I just trying too hard?
    I do so much for my boyfriend, whether they are small things, or huge favors. My feelings for him are very strong and honestly I love him very much. But lately I have been noticing how much I do for that boy and get nothing in return. The things I do for him are simple things whether it be making him breakfast or dinner when he comes over, having his favorite snacks ready when we have movie nights and things like that. Although now it seems like I am always the one paying for dinners and lunches when we go out to eat, and when he says he wants something when we go to the mall I go back later and I buy it for him. For christmas I bought him a very nice expensive designer scarf that he wanted and another item that he had said that he wanted. Christmas day passed he didn't get me anything at all, and I'm not going to lie I was somewhat hurt. I wasn't hurt at the fact I wanted an expensive gift and received nothing, but at the fact that I spent my time to go pick something out for him to make him smile, and he didn't even think about what would have made me happy. When I do things for him I don't expect anything in return, but it has been brought up to my attention that I have been doing more than enough for him and it has grown to be a one way relationship now. In the beginning he was very nice and would do me small favors and I would appreciate them very much. But now he does nothing, he always says that he loves the way I treat him and I am the best girlfriend he has ever had, but yet he does nothing to show that he appreciates the things I do for him. We both work and we both make our own money, and lately it seems like either his money is stacking or he's spending it on someone else, and mine is just depleting. Don't get me wrong I am not unattractive or anything like that, there are plenty of other guys trying to go out with me. But I love him very much and I care about him a lot, but I don't know what to do, do I ignore all of this and just keep doing what I'm doing or stop all the things I do for him, or do I just let go completely?? :(
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 38,848, Reputation: 5431
    Jobs & Parenting Expert
     
    #2

    Jan 17, 2011, 12:35 PM

    Stop doing so much for him and stop spending money on him. See if he notices.
    answerme_tender's Avatar
    answerme_tender Posts: 1,148, Reputation: 689
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    #3

    Jan 17, 2011, 03:43 PM

    Chloe,

    You need to stop buying gifts for him or paying for everything. If he doesn't want to spend money to take your out to dinner, then stop going out to dinner. He can eat at home. If he says he is hungry and your out and about. Don't say a word about you being hungry, see what he says. If he goes up to order something and doesn't even bother to ask if you would like something then you really need to start thinking about moving on and kicking him to curb!!

    He is so use to you buying everything that he is like a spoiled child that you are babysitting then dating. You also need to remember you cannot buy LOVE.

    I don't think he is all that much into this relationship, I personally feel he is using you, the reason is that he didn't even bother to get you a Christmas gift, not even something cheap. Right there is telling me that if he cannot even bother to be kind enough at christmas, why would he rest of year. Seriiously boot this loser to the side. Get out with friends. If you continue to keep him around, I wouldn't be surprised if he starts messing around behind your back and you will be supporting new girl without even knowing it!!

    Just be careful, I wish you the very best.
    QLP's Avatar
    QLP Posts: 980, Reputation: 656
    Senior Member
     
    #4

    Jan 17, 2011, 06:28 PM

    How about next time he says he loves the way you treat him you tell him you would love it if he treated you the same way.

    I think he is taking you for granted.

    As the others say stop spending your money on him and doing so much for him and if he asks why tell him you would like to be treated for a change. In the meantime start treating yourself instead of him.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,328, Reputation: 10855
    Expert
     
    #5

    Jan 18, 2011, 05:33 AM

    If he can't be as nice as you are, then tell him, so he will know why you kicked him to the curb. I think you would be happy if he showed his appreciation in ways YOU can appreciate.

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