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    angeldust28's Avatar
    angeldust28 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Aug 20, 2009, 08:03 PM
    Am I engaged?
    My fiancé (?) asked me to marry him in Paris 6 months ago. This is his 3rd marriage and he asked me to not tell anyone just yet because he needed time to prepare his two sons (17 & 23yrs) beforehand. Six months have passed and he still has not told them. We bought a ring two months ago and I'm still not wearing it. He has been divorced for the second time just under a year. I am upset that he still does not want anyone to know, yet the "rumor" is all over town. I think we should be celebrating and letting people know. What do I do?
    danielnoahsmommy's Avatar
    danielnoahsmommy Posts: 2,506, Reputation: 297
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    #2

    Aug 20, 2009, 08:06 PM

    Talk to him. Only he can give you an answer that you want to hear!
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,317, Reputation: 5972
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    #3

    Aug 20, 2009, 08:13 PM

    I see problems in this relationship already. Obviously you aren't close enough or committed enough to talk to each other about your problems. Why come here? Ask your boyfriend, only he has the answer.

    If you don't learn to talk to each other, then your possible marriage won't stand a chance.
    winding200's Avatar
    winding200 Posts: 167, Reputation: 40
    Junior Member
    		  
    #4

    Aug 21, 2009, 05:49 AM
    angeldust28,
    If he proposed in Paris, bought the ring, you guys are engaged.
    If it is his 3rd marriage, I can understand why he wants to be very careful with his public image.
    Although if he prioritize his public image more than fiancé's feeling for months, then it is not fair for you, and not a good sign for your relationhsip.
    Set a time, spend a lovely time together, and tell him it hurts your feeling, and everyone knows the rumor already. Do not confront him to make him accused. Give him a timeline to publish the news. When a man is in love, he does everything for the lover. It is under your control from now. Your weapon is love, not accusation or blaming. Congratulations!
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,325, Reputation: 10855
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    #5

    Aug 21, 2009, 09:46 AM
    You really need to establish some honest communications with him, BEFORE you get married so you'll know where this marriage/engagement is headed, and know its for the right reasons, based on facts, and not just feelings.

    Talk to him, casually. You shouldn't have to press, or nag, either.
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