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    Swotkie's Avatar
    Swotkie Posts: 8, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Mar 27, 2005, 02:15 AM
    Am I being insecure, or am I the problem here?
    Kay,

    I've been going out with my girlfriend for 2 months now. Last night was her birthday party in which I got to meet most of her friends at once (joy) :( I met about 20 people that night, got really drunk, at first I felt things were going pretty well, but by the middle of it, people thought I was bored, then her friend came over and told me I was being anti-social I perked up a little after that, trying to present myself as best I can, but was still feeling like I had to be the best I could be for our relationships sake and so that her friends don't think poorly of me as to not have any negative things said about me.

    So here I am at a party trying to have a good time, speaking with a few people at long lengths and thinking, Why am I feeling so pressured? Why am I being put in this situation, thrown into the deep end when I had to basically drag my girl to meet my mum (who is like the nicest person in the world) and my sister briefly and I am here, with all these people I have never met for 5-6 hours? I think the biggest question on my mind at the time was Why is this making me uncomfortable?

    Then towards the end of the night my girlfriend says to me she was "dissappointed", when I asked why she said she would tell me later, but later hasn't come yet. (This is the day after at present.)

    Then later on one of her friends was yelling at her friend who is a guy and is really into her but at the moment she is exploring herself and is into other girls at the moment and we were about to go to sleep when all this was happening so we both went down and she started to try calm the guy down and I was talking to her friend cause she was pretty angry so my girlfriend tells me I should go upstairs, I just ignored it at the time as she was getting angry about the fact I was trying to help her friend. So the guy leaves with his brother and we go to sleep.

    Okay, The morning after. We wake up and I went downstairs talked to her brother cause she was tired and probably hung over I was pretty bad myself. So I went up to her once to see if she was feeling all right, she was a bit narky I guess, didn't really let me touch her or anything. Currently I am putting it down to that she is hung over and is really moody when hung over.

    Now I'm waiting for a call so I can find out where I stand and why she is disappointed in me about something I know nothing about and if her friends have changed her opinion about me.

    I'm really into this girl, and I am very good to her, and she makes me feel great about myself, but sometimes she can say the wrong thing, and put me in situations I am not comfortable in. Then again, I'd do anything for this girl.

    Am I being insecure and making a mountain out of a molehill? I may very well find out soon. But everyone's opinions would be nice to look at while I am waiting for her to call like she said she would.
    Swotkie's Avatar
    Swotkie Posts: 8, Reputation: 1
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    #2

    Mar 27, 2005, 07:36 AM
    Didn't get the call, talked on MSN. She seems distant now. But I've told her communication is really important to me and if she wants space I'm willing to give her that. She wants to have a "talk" Will see where this goes...
    Wildcat21's Avatar
    Wildcat21 Posts: 3,582, Reputation: 435
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    #3

    Mar 28, 2005, 03:10 PM
    Dude - don't go to the talk!!

    Don't take the call!! Be unavailable!!

    'talk' is word for break up.

    Give her space and time and she may get over it. DON'T CALL!! DON'T be available. Seriously.

    Don't be a wuss about this.

    I HOPE you're not clingy-needy over this woman?
    Swotkie's Avatar
    Swotkie Posts: 8, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    Mar 29, 2005, 01:06 PM
    I was kind of going that way dude

    But thanks for the insight. Will try and salvage what I can out of this, She is speaking a bit more to me now over MSN but I don't know what will happen, but I won't be accepting a break up that's for sure.
    shenda's Avatar
    shenda Posts: 160, Reputation: 21
    Junior Member
     
    #5

    Mar 29, 2005, 06:11 PM
    Old School...
    There are two types of women in a man's life

    The One you take home to mom, and All the rest (fill-in at your discretion)

    In only two months... you feel deeply for this young lady... Cool

    However, despite what happens between the two of you... please address your feelings of insecurity. Why feel insecure? Is it because you are willing to go outside of yourself to please her. You have dared to leave your comfort zone in order to make another happy. These are signs of maturity; however, keep things in perspective. What I mean by that, never lose your core self, it is hard to reclaim. Another thing that comes to mind, you spent a lot of time with her friends, how much of that time did you spend with her.
    Swotkie's Avatar
    Swotkie Posts: 8, Reputation: 1
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    #6

    Mar 29, 2005, 08:44 PM
    I think the feelings of insecurity come from the fact that I haven't had a serious relationship for over 2 years now. Though I know they are present they still require addressing. I spent some time with her at the party, she was talking to some other of her friends mainly most of the time and I would talk to her a little, it was in a very enclosed area which didn't help at all with having 20 strangers in my face.

    Alas we will see where this goes will keep you all posted. In three words I can sum up all that I have learned about life... It goes on.
    Realist's Avatar
    Realist Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #7

    Jun 12, 2008, 08:17 AM
    Never chase a woman.
    Men only chase women when they are insecure about themselves.
    If you have a good job car and status guess what, women come to you if you don't.
    Chase her for one last bang
    ebutler's Avatar
    ebutler Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #8

    Jan 11, 2011, 07:18 PM
    Hey guy.. man up.. so what her friends didn't think you were the life of the party.. so what.. they were ALL drunk anywayzzz... for all they know you were tired... and for her to not pick up on your insecurities and make them worse by highlighting them, well in my opinion she needs some manner.. she sounds young to me.. so do you.. anyway.. I wouldn'y really stress.. because this girl isn't the last call... you should hopefully end up with someone who will respect you, maybe ask if you're okay, or leave the "event" if you're feeling unsociable. The fact that you are feeling WAY self-conscious about this and worriing obsessively means to me one of two things 1) you are hung up on the "you-know-what" 2) You are having some self esteem problems.

    Don't fret.. go with it.. it's good growing experience. Either way it works out, don't try to force it...

    P.S. I am a female in case you're wondering. LOL.
    Hang in there.

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