So here I am alone again, I should have known it would not work the second time around I should have gone with my gut instinct but at the same time I had to test it.. I regret going back to him and letting him have that control over me and then hurting me again but at the same time at least I have learned it can't work with us ever again. He has changed so much and become someone I hardly know anymore, he told me that he has changed and things can't be the same again and I almost thought that would be a good thing because the reason we didn't work before is because he was so clingy and insercure and now he is the opposite and I have become the clingy insecure person. I hate that he turned me into that girl. I need to be strong and once again start with a fresh no contact and keep it that way until I am over him once and forall. It doesn't stop it hurting though like picking at an old scab making it bleed and it hurts pretty bad but not as much as the first time.. I wish I knew how to move on, I know the answer is not to jump into something else but I am tempted to go to the movies with this guy who asked me if only to take my mind off him.. :(

Hey Len,

I'm really sorry for your loss, but like you said, it's for the best. You didn't like the type of person he was turning you into. Now you at least know that it will never work out between the two of you and you'll become a better person for it. No one said it's going to be busy, you just have to take it one day at a time, which means dealing with the hurt. Do what you need to do--grieve, cry, the works.

Maybe you shouldn't go out with that guy to the movies, unless it's as just a platonic date between two friends. As you noted, dating around too soon can have the adverse effect, specifically the worsening of the pain and emptiness post-break up.

In the meantime, STAY BUSY! Engage in activities, hobbies, work, etc and hang out as much as possible with family and friends.

Good luck,
J