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    kittyk81904's Avatar
    kittyk81904 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Sep 20, 2008, 10:38 PM
    Age difference.
    My boyfriend and I have known each other since we were real little, and everyone say stuff because he is 4 years older than me and he is an adult and I am still a minor.
    He is 19 and I am almost 16. We have been dating since I was 11 ( yes I am very mature for my age was back then too) and people say things... is this wrong? I love him so much he is always there for me he buys me things, my parents don't help me with anything my dad isn't around and my mom is only worried about getting drunk and high, my boyfriend has been there for me since day 1 and he buys me food and everything, is this wrong that I am with him and that he is with me? :confused:
    JoeCanada76's Avatar
    JoeCanada76 Posts: 6,669, Reputation: 1707
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    #2

    Sep 20, 2008, 10:43 PM

    Is that the only reason why you like him as a boyfriend because he buys you things? Buys you Food? And Everything?

    About the age thing dating him since 11, Guess your parents do not really care?

    The age difference at such a young age, yes I would say majority of people would think it is wrong.. Once you turn into an adult the age difference does not really matter.
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 37,910, Reputation: 5430
    Jobs & Parenting Expert
     
    #3

    Sep 20, 2008, 10:54 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by kittyk81904 View Post
    My boyfriend and I have known each other since we were real little, and everyone say stuff because he is 4 years older than me and he is an adult and i am still a minor.
    he is 19 and i am almost 16. we have been dating since i was 11 ( yes i am very mature for my age was back then too) and people say things.........is this wrong? i love him so much he is always there for me he buys me things, my parents dont help me with anything my dad isnt around and my mom is only worried about getting drunk n high, my boyfriend has been there for me since day 1 and he buys me food and everything, is this wrong that i am with him and that he is with me? :confused:
    Does he consider himself your boyfriend or just a friend or even a quasi-parent who is there to help you with food and other stuff because he knows your parents can't or won't be parents?

    And what does "dating" mean? What do you two do when you date?
    hjpan's Avatar
    hjpan Posts: 902, Reputation: 29
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    #4

    Sep 20, 2008, 11:20 PM

    It's not illegal to date, but illegal to have sex.
    chuff's Avatar
    chuff Posts: 3,397, Reputation: 1235
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    #5

    Sep 21, 2008, 11:58 AM

    Maybe I'm in left field on this one and I will happily agree if anyone disagrees with me but maybe if your parents aren't around having someone around a little older is a good thing. But a 15 year old interested in an 11 year old seems very odd. That's a vast 4 year difference. Even at 16 your still growing up and you have no idea how much you are going to change between now and when your 21 and then 25 so I have to wonder if this guy is a sort of replacement parent as opposed to a real boyfriend. My question would be why are you asking? There is a lot more to this then you are letting on, and I'm guessing you probably didn't see anything wrong before but as you are maturing you are now wondering if you should get out of the relationship?
    liz28's Avatar
    liz28 Posts: 4,662, Reputation: 1034
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    #6

    Sep 21, 2008, 12:48 PM

    Yeah I agree. If your been going out this long does the age really matter? I can understand you not having any parents around and that will make you grow up and mature faster than other kids your age. You probably seen things that others haven't and it's a shame that you have to go through this but hopeful you will be a stronger person in the future due to your childhood and the parents that you have. Whatever you do, stay in school because education is very important. I hope your not having sex because you don't need a baby. Start planning for what you want to do with your future and towerds your goal. Be all that you can be because times are hard. You stated your mom gets high and drunk , use her as an example for how you don't want to be and use that as your motivation. By the way, do you have any relatives you can stay with because you shouldn't be living in an household like this. Also, don't ever be pressure to do anything you don't want to by your boyfriend. If your having sex, which I hope your not, go to a clinic, like plannedparenthood, and get the facts about it. Before people disagree with what I said, I not telling her to have sex nor indicated she is but just want her to get all the facts about it and know how to protect herself before she hears the wrong information from someone else.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,230, Reputation: 10853
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    #7

    Sep 21, 2008, 06:18 PM
    I think he gives you what you wish your parents would. As you say he is there for you.

    Not going to judge you, but if your mature as you say then, you know the difference between love, and gratitude.

    Sorry for your situation, as you deserve love, and support, and guidance, as you grow,

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