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    hnkmp55's Avatar
    hnkmp55 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Dec 22, 2009, 01:58 AM
    Need advice lost love type ?
    Ok the love of my life broke up with me over 3 years ago. I was going through a lot back then and could see now how unbearable it must have been. After we broke up I did everything I could think of to get her back. To no avail. It just pissed her off more. During the last 3 years she has had a daughter. (18 months old) Ive had nearly no contact with her for over a year until recently. First week of November I went to my best friends wedding and she happened to be there. We danced had a great time and she told me she was single. She asked for my number because she no longer had it. 2 days after I showed up at her work to ask her to lunch. She couldn't because she had just gotten there. I told her to call me sometime and we would do lunch. Didn't hear from her. Well 2 days ago it was my best friends birthday and he and his wife wanted to go bowling. So I met them at the alley. On my way there he called to give me a heads up that my ex would be there. We bowled 2 games because she had to get home to her daughter but during that time there was a little flirting. I was pulled aside by my friend after the first game and said he heard her and his wife talking about sex or the last time she had been with someone being a single mom and he heard my name mentioned or something. That I should just keep playing it cool. So I did. Wasn't showing her too much attention but she would kick me under the table and such. Then she walked over to me and asked if I had any regrets about our sex life? Shocked me, so I said the first thing to pop in my head. Which was maybe one or two. She went back over to the girl she was having the conversation with. Anyway we left shortly after and she hugged everyone and she hugged me and kissed me on the cheek. After we left I texted her saying, no girl I had no complaints. She texted back the next day saying I should had said that the night before. She was defending us in that category. I don't know the basis of the girls conversation but it involved us having sex I guess. I sent back to her I would think that would be a category we wouldn't ever have to defend. She sent back I agree.

    So the night after I sent her a text saying my lunch invite was still on the table. No response. So today I sent how about breakfast, dinner or even afternoon tea and crumpets, since you don't seem to like lunch.
    She responded by I don't know what crumpets are. Im not looking to jump into anything. I don't want to lead you on, so if you want to hang out as friends that's fine.

    I responded I didn't know what crumpets were either, and I didn't want just to jump into something as well. That hanging out would be fine.

    Kind of confused, any suggestions would be great.
    amicon's Avatar
    amicon Posts: 6,066, Reputation: 1911
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    #2

    Dec 22, 2009, 02:11 AM
    Maybe hanging out as friends is fine-but if you have another agenda, i.e. getting back together I wouldn't get my hopes up.
    Exes are usually exes for a reason.
    Devorameira's Avatar
    Devorameira Posts: 2,461, Reputation: 981
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    #3

    Dec 25, 2009, 12:22 PM
    You say that you're willing to just hang out as friends, but I think your heart is hoping that it will turn into more. You probably went through a lot getting over her - do you really want to have to go throw the healing process all over again? Stay away from her unless you want to be hurt again.
    sabrewolfe's Avatar
    sabrewolfe Posts: 420, Reputation: 96
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    #4

    Dec 25, 2009, 01:09 PM
    You need to take it slow with her and stop texting her so much. Give her a chance to breathe and let her call you when and if she is ready. You are coming on to her to strongly after 3 years of being apart. If you don't slow yourself with her, she is going to see you as a needy and desperate guy. Right now, she is just testing the waters with you so to speak. You have to act a little more hard to get.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #5

    Dec 26, 2009, 02:51 PM
    What's so confusing about being told "as friends"? No romance guy, or sex, so if that's what your looking for with all this attention your giving her, forget it.

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