Hi, I recently got into a relationship with a girl who hadn't long been single. We were together about two months and everything was going great. We seemed to have this amazing connection which we both felt, and it all felt perfect. Anyway, recently her ex who was previously out of the picture started asking for her back, and then told her that he has a job in the army in Afghanistan. (he has gone now). She met up with him to say goodbye, and after that things just changed.

Last weekend I met her out and it was fine for about half hour until she got really upset, and told me she couldn't do this at the moment as she wasn't ready for it, as she is so confused as to what she wants. We have still been in contact and she insists she just needs space to get her head straight but I can't help thinking she just wants her ex and not me. I am so gutted at the moment I feel as if I will never find happiness ever. I'm annoyed with myself for falling in love with her so quick and leaving myself open to be hurt.

This is the second relationship breakup in 12 months and I don't think my heart can take it. I have had to take myself off work and just feel so low, the pain is horrible. I now have no idea where to go from here. I don't know whether to wait and see if she wants to be with me, or try and let go of any hope now. I can't see it ending well for me however I look at it.

Any help or advice would be of great help. Thank you guys

Sadly it seems she wasn't over the ex and may have rebounded with you.
Painful as it is,I'd say she probably isn't going to return.
Go no contact and start the healing process.

Keeping busy helps so don't sit at home doing nothing.
Be around people who care about you and talk to them about how you feel.
Take care.

Disappear from her life and start rebuilding your own, with friends, family, and activities that you enjoy. And don't fall for the next cutie so fast. Make sure she deserves your heart, and knows what to do with it.

Too much, too fast, crash and burn.

Talaniman Rule - Date them all! Short, fat, skinny, or tall! 18 - 80, blind, cripple, or crazy!!

Then after you know them better you can pick one. Thats what dating is about, enjoying getting to know someone, without getting carried away.

Two relationships in a year? People would die for those opportunities. Slow down and enjoy the next one, and protect your heart from rebounds, or confused females.

Thank you guys, hard as it seems I know you are both right!

Accept the facts and start moving on.
You know you can do it.

I agree with the above posts, but wanted to add a few thoughts.

Why does your life get put on hold, and in this horrible place of not knowing if she's going to come back. You are torturing yourself while waiting for her to make up her mind and figure out HER life, and what and who she wants in it. And under what terms. A 'break' initiated by one partner, serves only the needs of her, not you.

I think these 'breaks', particularly in your situation, serves only to allow her the luxury of distance and time to reflect, while leaving you floundering.

You don't need to live like this. Figure out what your definition of a break is. For example, it's time to evaluate whether you wish to have a relationship. It's time to consider whether you want to invest more time with a person who can so easily toss you aside, in order for her to work on her life, and not necessarily her life with you.

Let her know you will give her 30 days to make up her mind whether she wishes to continue and work on her relationship with you, or not. If she chooses not to work on the relationship, but wishes instead to 'find herself' or 'figure out her own life' and isn't particularly driven to save the relationship, you will know.

Then, when and if she returns during those 30 days, insist that she state whether she's willing to work on problems, maybe by attending couples counselling. Work on what YOU want to feel secure enough about letting her into YOUR life- not the other way around.

Until you define your own terms, you will remain at the mercy of whatever she decides, under her terms, with your needs not met, and a most likely third time around down the road where she 'needs space' again. Time to get off this merry-go-round once and for all.