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    LostGirlNotFoun's Avatar
    LostGirlNotFoun Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    Oct 16, 2008, 08:46 PM
    I this an abusive relationship?

    I'm 28 years old woman and I've been having a relationship with a man for 2 years now , who happens to work in the same place as me. At first he was very attentive and nice but we began arguing about stuff and things started to go downhill. I admit that I am not an easy person and I tend to be jealous , but he has been unfaithful twice and my trust for him is non existent. This has make me a person that argues with him 24/7.

    But over the past few months , he seemed very angry at our fights ,one night we went out he had a few drinks and he slapped me in the face witch he later apologized and even started to cry . But a few weeks ago I noticed that he was pressuring me to be intimate more often , since we are not in a good place I don't want to be intimate with him . That night I asked him to please use a condom , he refused and got so angry that he punched me in the middle of my forehead causing a huge bruise , I had to took a week off from work. He said that it was my fault , for not being intimated with him , and that since he doesn't want to be unfaithful that's the result of his anger. The problem is that after that he said that we can't be together because we are fighting a lot and things can end in a tragedy , but I don't want to let him go , I know its wrong that he was abusive but maybe I think it's my fault . I don't want to loose him , since we work in the same place , I can't imagine seeing him everyday it would be devastating for me. I love him , I know I can be quite a hadful . What should I do?
    h0llister's Avatar
    h0llister Posts: 335, Reputation: 15
    Full Member

    Oct 16, 2008, 09:06 PM

    Yes this is abusive!! You need to get out now! He is forcing you do sexual things you don't want to! And hitting you!! That is just horrible! You should start looking for a new job or transfer to another location (if possible). Imagine how much worse this can get! I feel so sorry for you.

    Please think of yourself, you deserve so much better. Yes you love this man, but do you love who he IS or who he USED to be!!

    We all are here for you, feel free to post anytime!
    JBeaucaire's Avatar
    JBeaucaire Posts: 5,426, Reputation: 997
    Software Expert

    Oct 17, 2008, 01:17 AM

    Sheesh, you people infuriate me.

    He hits you IN THE HEAD, costs you a week of work, and that's YOUR fault? And you don't want to let him go? Seriously?

    You... are... not... a punching bag. There is NO words, no reasoning, no "love" that makes it OK to do this. And you're telling him it's fine!?!?!? Yes... yes you are! Don't you dare deny it!

    You are NOT a victim. YOU are choosing this. You are keeping the job, you are keeping the abusive man. You are NOT a victim, you are your own enemy.

    Why? Why would you... why would ANY woman... look at her "love" feelings and use it to excuse being treated like a doormat kickball? Why? You tell me HOW you loving him makes it OK for you to miss out on that awesome, gently, loving guy out there waiting to make you blissfully happy like the princess you are and father your children and make you feel like the woman you are? Why does that guy have to miss you over this jerk?

    We are definitely here for you. Are YOU here for you? Are you ready to be with someone who pines after you and dreams of ways to make your life better? Are you ready to find him?

    If so, first step... lose the karate kid. Second step, change jobs. You have to... you did this to yourself, now you have to start over. PLEASE start over and learn from this. Walk away yesterday.
    jedidah's Avatar
    jedidah Posts: 5, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    Oct 17, 2008, 04:12 AM
    U need to RUN gal.. he will never respect u... he cheats and hits... mmmh not the man you want to have.. I was in a simillar position 2 ys ago and didn't want to let go too! But I finally decieded to when I met a cool guy and realised I wonna be with a man who loves me more than I love him.. worked out very well and the bustard wanted me back but I never will ever give him the chance... :)
    Romefalls19's Avatar
    Romefalls19 Posts: 4,739, Reputation: 1130
    Ultra Member

    Oct 17, 2008, 05:22 AM

    Yes, this is abusive. Now leave his sorry behind

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