:confused: Hi there. I have been wondering how I can get past a certain situation with my boyfriend. Well, it's not a situation now, but I don't want it ever to be.
Just follow me...
I have been with five other guys, intimately before. My live-in boyfriend of 3.5 years on the otherhand, has never been with anyone else. In fact, I am his first serious girlfriend (I am 22, he's 23). We are madly in love, have a wonderful life together, and have two kittens and live in an apt together. I worry though, because we have talked before about the fact that he hasn't been with anyone else before, and though he has thought about it, he says it's not worth losing me.
My fear is that we have built this wonderful little life together, and just when I'm thinking he's going to ask me to marry him, he's going to say he needs to meet other people before settling down. He says he wants to get past this, and not have to wonder or worry about it. He wants to be with me, but that temptation is a floating problem at times. I know there are couples out there who have been in this type of situation, and they have worked these through. Any advice on what might help us out so that my mind will ease when he goes out with his friends?

To use an old expression... don't borrow trouble.

You can't solve problems that haven't occurred yet and the only surefire way to guarantee you don't have a future with this problem in it is to insist he "sow more wild oats now" which is hardly feasible, is it?

Simple live in the now. Focus on being the best you, and support him in the same, being the best him also. Let what comes of that come.

Trusting him is a matter of empirical data... has he proved to be trustworthy in all the little other ways? If so, then trust him when he is with his friends too.

If not, then couch the problem in more realistic terms instead of trying to rationalize his untrustworthiness as part of his lack of experience with women. Those two don't go travel together necessarily. I know several guys who's behavior would take that sort of theory apart and rapidly too. LOL

There is nothing that says in order for you two to succeed in life as a relationship, you need to have even amounts of experience in any one topic, including sex so I would toss any thinking like that out the window pronto! Generously share your strengths with each other, confidently celebrate your differences, and the rest will take care of itself. The only way to get a lifetime for any of us is just one day at a time. :p

I hope this helps lend a little perspective. Thanks for posting.

There are no guarantees to anything but a relationship with honest and open communication can go a long way in solving most problems that will confront any couple in a committed relationship. There will be many so deal with the reality in front of you and don't worry about the what ifs... :cool:

If you really really love some one... Then you don't worry about quantity!

Quality is more impressive than Quantity :- remember that!

RickJ another thread I'm subscribed to and its not appearing on my profile

Well I don't quite know what to say to ease your worries other than why the heck would he need to "get out and meet other people" since the two of you have already built this "wonderful life together." It sounds like the two of you have everythng that's worthwhile already so what more could he possibly need? Most people sow their wild oats before getting to the stage where you two evidently are. If he really feels that something's missing in his life then it sounds like the two of you aren't very compatible. Have you assured him that you love him and him alone and that the other 5 mean nothing to you now? He may need that reassurance since you have had more relationships than he has.

The only thing you have to fear is fear itself... remember that saying? Fear is the opposite of love. So replace fear with love. Don't worry about someone you probably trust by now. And with God's grace, your BF might turn out to be just the more devoted to you type.
Just another thought.