I broke up with my boy friend 2 years ago. I dated him from my freshmen year to my sr year I loved him with everything for 3 years he was my first. But During my sr year I lost myself became very selfish didn't care about any one other then myself, I dumped him very hard and didn't even care. It killed him he was planning on marrying me. And I ran out of that relationship fast and hard and neither one of us got closure from it. But About a year later being a Christian Girl who fell away from God during that time, God allowed my to find myself and pretty much grow up and take responsibility for my actions. I came to relies what I had done and started missing him sooo much but the only talking I have done with him was me apolgising for what I did. He doesn't know I miss him because he now he has a girl friend and I respect him enough because I think he is happy and I don't want to take that away from him again. But I can't move on in my life I am filled with regret I feel like I had the one and threw it all way. Every boy I talk to I compare to how I felt about him and it never even comes close it has been a year of me missing him and I don't know what to do. I want to move and find a husband but I can't get over my feelings. I don't think I could ever love someone as much as I loved him and that really scares me I want a husband and family so bad, I never dreamed my husband would be second next to my 1st love.. Is there hope for me getting over this and loving someone more than him... And would it be a good or bad idea to maybe sit and talk with him I don't want to open closed wounds for him but I come stuck and don't know what else to do..

No, do not talk with him about this. That will only open up more memories for you and will be a mean thing to do to him. I too pushed aside my first love and found out later he had planned to ask me to marry him. By then it was too late, as he had found someone else.

First realize there will never be anyone like a first love for anyone. No one will ever be as important and as wonderful as my first love. That's a special place set aside in a person's heart.

It's good to remember and have happy memories, but not good to be stuck in them. You have a choice. You can choose to be stuck or you can choose to move forward into life and new friends and relationships. That's what I had to do. You can do it too.