[Clough]

Hi, All!

Some of us are now middle aged, if not older. My daughter just turned 30 and my son is 28.

Perhaps, "dealing with" isn't the best terminology. But, I couldn't thing of better terms.

It's a personal thing. My problem...

I've, of course, gone through the times of them being children. Witnessed them graduating from this or that too. We've become friends. The really becoming friends thing happened while they were in their later teens.

They're both employed and successful at what they do.

They both have their ways of doing things as well as their own lives to lead.

I have trouble letting go of them being kids. After all, they are my children.

I suppose that it's also a matter of acceptance...

I'm sure that some of you know what I mean about the letting go and acceptance parts!

Any words of wisdom about how one needs to think as their children get older as adults?

Sharing of how you feel and think would be much appreciated!

Thanks!

[cdad]

For one thing you have to realize that there is an expanded mentality in older children. And as part of that base they have their own bag of experience that comes with it. The hardest bond for a parent to break is the one of visions and dreams that you once held for your child. Also because they are older they have more latitude to fall. Life can bring so much and its experience can be so rich but as balance it can be the most horrible times to live through. As the parent you can't live the tough times for them. Look at how much parental interference is going on in the law boards. You will see exactly what I mean. Also as adults you need to realize that your child has a private life. As the parent your not suppose to know everything. The hardest thing to overcome is the line of communication without stepping over the boundary of authority. Simply put things happen and you must allow them to happen. That is most likely the hardest thing you can do as a parent of older children. Divorce, Loss of children etc. These are things that as adults we may face. And that process is different for everyone. So when it comes to adult children bottom line is there are no easy answers that go across the board. Every situation is as unique as your child is. Just keep communication and acceptance at the top of the list and in the end you will be rewarded for it.

[Clough]

Very wise words from you, califdadof3! I apologize for taking so long to return to this thread!