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    leila977's Avatar
    leila977 Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Jul 9, 2013, 04:32 AM
    Terrified by the things I've done
    Hey guys... I'm a 18 year old teeneger in high school,I'm pregnant and my stomach is starting to get big ,so the baby daddy is too young and we broke up way back after I found out that I'm pregnant,appereantly his the "Player" we hardly talk ,even when we are talking he shows me pictures of his girlfriends and sends me voice notes of his girlfriend telling me how sh talks like me,after we broke up he went out of town with his family,so now I'm recently dating this older guy,his rich,been married,he wants us 2 get married but sighs* his old point is I'm still pregnant... should I say the baby is his because after all I'm really not sure if he isn't the baby daddy or should I abort? Please tell me what you think... please do not judge me though
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,495, Reputation: 2853
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    #2

    Jul 9, 2013, 04:39 AM
    WHat you should do is have the REAL father tested by DNA to prove it.. and make him pay support because after all its his kid... don't lie about it being someone else's. He had his fun.. its time he pays his bills. YOu go to family court after the baby is born... and establish legal custody.. and child support. Otherwise he could come after the child in the future and would have just as many rights to take it as you would have to keep it.


    The child will need to know who the real father is for reasons of medical history as well. (risks for certain types of cancers and certain other diseases tend to run in families)... and if I had a girlfriend I found out lied about me fathering a child when it was someone else... I'd never be able to believe her about anything she ever said.
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,593, Reputation: 2941
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    #3

    Jul 9, 2013, 04:46 AM
    No one can tell you to abort or keep. It may be too late to abort now anyway. Tell us how many weeks you think you are pregnant?
    Don't lie to the guy who wants to marry you. Truth, truth! Not only 'right' but also more likely to be appreciated, and hence more likely for love to last. If he decides to break it off it's better to know now than later.
    leila977's Avatar
    leila977 Posts: 4, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    Jul 9, 2013, 05:08 AM
    The person I think might be the baby daddy ,dsnt want anythn 2 do with the baby neither me because of this guy that wants to marry me,his older than him and he says myb the baby daddy is nt him its this guy I'm recently with
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,299, Reputation: 5646
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    #5

    Jul 9, 2013, 05:19 AM
    You do the right thing by this child. You wait until it is born and you have both men tested if there is a possibility of either of them being the father. Then you take the biological father to court and file for custody and child support.
    smoothy's Avatar
    smoothy Posts: 25,495, Reputation: 2853
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    #6

    Jul 9, 2013, 05:35 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by leila977 View Post
    The person I think might be the baby daddy ,dsnt want anythn 2 do with the baby neither me because of this guy that wants to marry me,his older than him and he says myb the baby daddy is nt him its this guy I'm recently with
    What he says means absolutely nothing... the court will order a DNA test be done... if its his it will prove it... This ex boyfriend really has nothing he can say... if its his.. he pays or he goes to jail.. its that simple.
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,299, Reputation: 5646
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    #7

    Jul 9, 2013, 05:37 AM
    And if you name the other boy knowing he is not the father, you are committing fraud.
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
    Marriage Expert
     
    #8

    Jul 9, 2013, 06:47 AM
    This is not meant to be judging but it will be somewhat harsh.

    I am having problems with your timeline. How far along are you?

    In May (https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/relationships/we-just-friends-747463.html), you were here asking about whether to continue seeing a 23 year old male who already had a girlfriend. Your last update in that thread was that you were no longer seeing him. Did that change or is there a new male in your life?

    In this thread you say that you broke up with your 'younger' boyfriend after you found out you were pregnant. Or did you mean that you found out you are pregnant after you broke up? Did you find out before or after you slept with the 23 year old?

    Frankly, it sounds like you have been rushing from one person to another. Stop. Do not make any marriage decisions until after the baby is born and you have a DNA test performed to know who the father is.

    If I am having problems with your timeline, then the gentleman you are with now should. Do not lie to him or other possible fathers of this child. Be honest with them.
    N0help4u's Avatar
    N0help4u Posts: 19,823, Reputation: 2035
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    #9

    Jul 9, 2013, 07:19 AM
    If these guys are smart they will refuse to sign the birth certificate without DNA testing. You don't go signing a dads name as the baby dad like you are picking M&M's over Almond Joy.
    Then you GO to court and file child support on the dad. You can't guarantee this new older guy will stick with you so why would you attempt to attach him to the birth certificate that's a wrongful burden if he is not the dad. Some bfs willingly sign for a baby they know isn't theirs but that's by an honest decision they choose.

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