[Bluerose]

I would like to draw your attention to the fact that this is not a private board. On some forums moderators and administrators have a private board where they can discuss things. I don't think it is fair to discus on an open board the type of questions we like, hate or are fed up with, or from whom they might come.

Let us get back to doing what we came here to do - help people.

Just something to think about.

[Miss Lewis]

There are always people who assume they are better than others and there isn't much anyone can do to change that. I think at least we can remember that the whole point of this site is to help people with their questions, however if people want to judge them along the way then that is their right to do so.

Emma.

[ScottGem]

Yes, we are here to help others. But it also needs to be remembered that we volunteer our time and expertise in doing so.

Discussions about how best to ask, follow-up and post, actually can help by educating askers about what works best in getting help.

[talaniman]

For the sake of free expression, and respect for the learning process, we should be able to talk about anything here, in the members area. It is open to all members and their opinion.

[Miss Lewis]

The only valid censorship of ideas is the right of people not to listen. ~Tommy Smothers

[JoeCanada76]

I agree with Scott and Tal on this one. This membership area for discussion is open. Anyone can talk about pretty much anything. That is what this section is for. Bluerose, I understand you have concerns here but it is better to write about them here in the discussion members area and actually venting here then maybe on some poster.

Joe

[ScottGem]

The only valid censorship of ideas is the right of people not to listen. ~Tommy Smothers

Very wise that Tommy.

[NeedKarma]

Better get used to it Rose. This newer generation is much more open and candid. I recently took a course that involved generational studies and it was very very enlightening. I suggest it to anyone, there are even very good books and websites that detail the differences between the generations and how we can all try to understand and adapt.

[Bluerose]

"Bluerose, I understand you have concerns here but it is better to write about them here in the discussion members area and actually venting here then maybe on some poster."

I'm new here so I shall bow down to the regular posters. I'm just concerned that if we open the door to judgment.. Then we too are judged.

[ScottGem]

I'm new here so I shall bow down to the regular posters. I'm just concerned that if we open the door to judgment.. Then we too are judged.

And so? I'm prepared to be judged on anything I say, no matter where or when. I don't say anything unless I think I can defend it with facts and/or logic. If I find I can't defend it, I retract it.

Shouldn't we all be prepared to be judged on what we say? If we don't like the way we think we might be judged then maybe we shouldn't say it.

[talaniman]

There are those that will judge any way, so you may as well do what you feel is the right thing to do, and if there is fallout from it, deal with it.

[Bluerose]

Sorry, I come from the school of being non-judgmental.
I don't believe we should judge each other - There but for the grace of God go I... And all that.

I offer advice and occasionally my opinion but not judgment.

Maybe I am mistaken, and maybe I don't belong here after all.

[Allheart]

Sorry, I come from the school of being non-judgmental.
I don't believe we should judge each other - There but for the grace of God go I.... And all that.

I offer advice and occasionally my opinion but not judgment.

Maybe I am mistaken, and maybe I don't belong here after all.

BlueRose,

You belong, right where you wish to be. You march by your own drummer, which brings a beauty to this forum that is so needed, in my opinion. And I agree with you 100% on your views and how I view this site and its purpose. Perhaps, my friend, you are the Rose between the thorns ;)

[Bluerose]

Thank you, Allheart. I needed that. But make no mistake... This Rose has thorns. Lol

The Rose Within

A man planted a rose and watered it faithfully and before it blossomed, he examined it. He saw the bud that would soon blossom, but noticed thorns upon the stem and he thought,
"How can any beautiful flower come from a plant burdened with so many sharp thorns? Saddened by this thought, he neglected to water the rose, and just before it was ready to bloom... it died.

So it is with many people. Within every soul there is a rose. The God-like qualities planted in us at birth, grow amid the thorns of our faults. Many of us look at ourselves and see only the thorns. We despair, thinking that nothing good can possibly come from us. We neglect to water the good within us, and eventually it dies. We never realize our potential.

Some people do not see the rose within themselves; someone else must show it to them. One of the greatest gifts a person can possess is to be able to reach past the thorns of another, and find the rose within them.

This is what love does. It helps us to look at a person and recognize the nobility in their soul. Help others to realize they can overcome their faults. If we show them the 'rose' within themselves, they will conquer their thorns. Only then will they blossom many times over.

[talaniman]

Thank you, Allheart. I needed that. But make no mistake... This Rose has thorns. lol

Ha! I thought so, and for the record you balance us hard head types out nicely, and add to the diversity that is unique and productive.

[Allheart]

Now how can anyone... anyone... disagree with that. Bluerose, that is it in a nutshell.
Beautiful.

May we all work together, and help each other conquer our own thorns.

Beautiful bluerose.

[Bluerose]

Oh! My God!
Allheart, that is so beautiful. Thank you.
If 2007 holds for me cyber friends like you lot, I'm in for a great year!

[wizzkid89]

I don't mean to cause a stir here, but it's impossible not to judge, it's only possible not to speak your judgment. To say that you were raised to not be judgemental doesn't mean that you don't have those thoughts or feelings, but rather you control them better or don't express them. If someone says they don't judge, they are lying, it is human to judge. It's a part of the brain like anything else is. I know I judge people, the first time I meet someone subconsciously I am looking for tells in their appearance, clothing, color, sex, that might enable me to figure out something about them without having to ask. Everyone judges, not everyone express their judgment. Plain and simple.

[Bluerose]

Okay, I don't want to nit pick. And, wizzkid89, I know what you are saying but I think it comes down to attitude and points of view.

I think judge is the wrong word here, I think you mean decision. We weight up the choices and we make the decision - we don't judge. At least we don't judge the life or decisions of another person because we have no right.

We can have our opinions and those are what we try to keep to ourselves, if we can.

[ScottGem]

Blue, first I believe you DO belong here. But I also think you are looking at this from the wrong angle. I think Wizz is right its impossible not to judge. Many questions that are posed here REQUIRE us to make a judgement. We make judgements about people many times a day in many ways. For example: you see someone approach you on the street in rags and you walk faster to get past them. You have made a judgement. Someone posts that their monitor doesn't work, your answer is a judgement about what might be wrong. Someone's posts that they want to relinquish parental rights and you make a judgement.

There is NOTHING wrong in it. Its how we act on those judgements that matter. I've seen several questions from teens asking if they should have sex. Almost universally the responses say wait. We are making a judgement and our response reflects that judgement.

I understand your antipathy to judging others, but, unless you asnwer only technical questions, then that's what your doing. I've seen a few posts from you and most of them are making some sort of judgement. Yet there is nothing wrong with those answers. They are good, compassionate and helpful.