[Confused_On_Color]

Me and my boyfriend, Brian, have been together for 2 years now, recently engaged. (I know how that sounds to most people) But moving on, I recently found out I’m about 3-4 weeks pregnant after a annual visit with my OB/GYN. I’m pretty good with children, I have a 11 year old nephew, and 2 nieces ages 1 and 3. But I was still hoping to hear some insight on what to really expect throughout the duration of this pregnancy. I do realize how young I am, and my boyfriend is not much older. (currently18, 19 in May) But regardless of my age I would still like to give my child the best opportunities in life. I’m also curious of the exact Do's and Don’ts of being pregnant. Any Suggestions, Advice, Tips, Explanations, etc.. Would be greatly appreciated. :)

[Clough]

Hi, Confused_On_Color!

First, what do your parents and his think about your situation, please?

Thanks!

[twinkiedooter]

Get maried first before the baby arrives.

[Confused_On_Color]

His Father is Deceased, and He has chosen to keep his mother out of his life due to her drug problem. So his parents are removed from the situation.

As for my parents, My Father's first daughter had her first child at 18. So he took it rather well he's not estatic with the whole situation, as for my mother she's quite ill so her imput is a little scattered.

[Clough]

Hi again, Confused_On_Color!

Do you have any community agencies where you might be able to see a counselor to help you with what you have to do, please?

Thanks!

[Confused_On_Color]

Uhm, no I do not. :/

[Clough]

You may not know about them, but most communities do have agencies that can help with various things.

Are you living in a rural or very small community?

[Confused_On_Color]

Extremely it's a small town mostly just barbers, stores, a bank, and a conveinence store.

[Clough]

So, do you shop in a community that might be much larger?

[Wondergirl]

extremely its a small town mostly just barbers, stores, a bank, and a conveinence store.

Churches? A minister or priest? A bigger town nearby with a college or university that might have counseling services? Catholic Charities? Lutheran Social Services? A public library that will have lists of resources for you? I grew up in a town of 500, but all of those were within decent driving distance.

[Clough]

Excellent listing of resources, Wondergirl!

[Confused_On_Color]

My Boyfriend, Parents, and School Guidance counselour are all very supportive. My father is completely supportive of the situation and he's said he'll make sure I get to all my appointments. I just wanted to get a Mothers perspective on what to expect, and what I should vere away from like foods and such. Lists and such are useful but someone who's already had children I believe might be able to offer me a little extra advice.

[Wondergirl]

My Boyfriend, Parents, and School Guidence counselour are all very supportive. My father is completely supportive of the situation and he's said he'll make sure I get to all my appointments. I just wanted to get a Mothers perspective on what to expect, and what i should vere away from like foods n such. Lists and such are useful but someone whos already had children I believe might be able to offer me a little extra advice.

Every pregnancy is different.

Be sure to eat fruits and vegetables, and stay away from junk food and empty calories. Take folic acid and other vitamins your doctor suggests. Do a lot of walking. I loved and used what I learned in Lamaze classes, so I highly recommend it. (It comes in handy later during stressful times in your life and when you are in pain for other reasons -- for relaxing and breath control.) Spend time with children and babies. Go to your public library and read about pregnancy and birth. Have a good attitude and look for the silver lining around each experience -- keep calm even when you're 9 months' pregnant and the baby is squeezing your bladder, or when you're up with a crying baby at for a.m.

[J_9]

How about a nurse's perspective?

I assume you are already taking prenatal vitamins. If not, you need to start yesterday. If they make your tummy upset, try taking them at night before you go to bed so that you will sleep through the tummy aches. If you still cannot take them, Flintstone's with Iron is okay too.

At this point you cannot take any meds if you get sick... Not until the 13th week. We will discuss that when we get there, okay?

You will see your doctor once a month for the first trimester, twice a month for the second and most of the third trimester. You will begin seeing your doctor once a week during the last month.

As far as foods, well just eat healthy. Some will tell you not to eat processed meats such as hot dog's and certain lunch meats, but that's still being studied.

You won't "feel" pregnant typically until you start showing and you begin to feel movements. First time mommies don't always feel movement until around the 20th week, sometimes earlier, sometimes later.

Drink LOTS of water, up to or more than a liter a day to keep yourself hydrated.

Once your belly begins to grow, you may feel some achieness, or pain in your lower abdomen near your pelvis. This is NORMAL. It's called round ligament pain. You see, our uterus and cervix are shaped like a lightbulb, and we have ligaments in our lower abdomens that support our tummies. As the uterus grows, the ligaments stretch, much like a rubberband. This can be uncomfortable. We will get how to treat that should you experience it.

It's too early in your pregnancy to really get into the logistics of labor, we can do that later.

For now, eat healthy and get plenty of rest. If you have any more questions, please feel free to ask.

[Confused_On_Color]

Thank you so much. I am a smoker, though. I talked to my doctor and she asked about my daily tobacco consumption. It's about a pack a day. She told me not to quit for whatever reason, appearantly quittinq after your pregnant can cause harm to the baby, I was just told to cut back a decent amount. But thank you all So much. J_9 I think you've assisted me on previous concerns and questions so thank you again. Im sure to be lurking around this forum, so I hope to talk to you all soon Thanks again and wish me luck. I really appreciate your help.

[Justwantfair]

Advice from someone once in your shoes.

My son is now going to be 13 in February.

I was wonderful with kids, grew up pretty much raising all of my younger cousins, babysat since I was too young and even legal to babysit. I had been with the father of my son for a while, long enough to believe that we would make it. We were engaged throughout the pregnancy.

First, the best thing I did, was I didn't marry him strictly for the sake of a child.
Second, the worst thing I did, was think that I was making the right choice keeping and raising my son at such a young age.

Adoption is not the easy choice, in fact I believe that it is harder than being a teenage mother but it would have been more fair and beneficial to my son. I struggled I made it through, I would have been a different person today without the experience, but if I knew then what I know today, I wouldn't have made the selfish choice.

Take care of yourself and your body, know that you have time to think and it is a lifetime choice that you are making. Get perspectives, it seems fun and exciting becoming a mother, but the fun and excitement will wear off and you will be left with more bills than you can pay, credit that you struggle to repair, working more than spending time with your child, no time for school or to be social. You will literally give up everything about yourself for another human being, but don't assume that it doesn't come with regrets.

Good luck to you, as you have difficult choices and a difficult road ahead of you. :) God bless.

[Confused_On_Color]

Thank you for your imput. Myself and the father have been through a lot, even prior this pregnancy. But Honestly after the mistakes that were made I've never seen him be so committed to me. These problems being also pre-pregnancy. At the risk of sounded over-sure of myself, My family is on the wealthy side. Me and my father have sat down and talked about the whole situation. He said the decision was mine as far as keeping the pregnancy/child. He offered every financial aid to us, and as much as I'd like to say as parents we can do it without his help. I accepted his help, much like us he wants what's best for the child. I am going to keep the baby, the father and I have discussed it to great lengths. Between his job, my fathers assistance, the money I collect from my mothers disability, and the small money I make through a part time job, I believe we may be able to offer our child a decent life. We've spoken with my parents, and at the risk of being at each other throats, in my third Trimester, Brian (babys father) is going to move in with my family. My father also said when we think we're ready he'll help get us a home of our own. And provided we still feel the same about each other we'll talk about marriage plans a year or two from now.

[kayasmommy4109]

As a teen parent you should know what you are getting in to by keeping your baby, its going to be a lot of stress and sleepless nights, a lot of the times the friends who say they are going to be there aren't they go on with their lifes and move on, you'll watch your friends go away to college and you'll be home with a baby your going to have to give up your whole life for this baby.

[pink_poodle]

The other people aren't answering your question. Anyway you can give your baby a great life depending on the decisions you make. You need to finish high school and keep going to school. Baby's are a blessing in every situation. Both you and your boyfriend have to be responsible now. Go to your doctor and take your vitamins.

[J_9]

I talked to my doctor and she asked about my daily tobacco consumption. It's about a pack a day. She told me not to quit for whatever reason, appearantly quittinq after your pregnant can cause harm to the baby,

That's a crock. It is very well known that smoking while pregnant increases the risk of a low birth weight baby. Also, babies born to mothers who smoke go through withdrawals. I see those babies every night I work. They cry constantly and are inconsolable.