I met scott 3 1/2months ago. It was my first time being out since I had my baby who is now 6months old. So I met scott in a club I was pretty drunk he walked me home and we had a kiss I gave him my number. The next day he text me but I couldn't really remember what he looked like and I wasn't up for seeing him again. I hadn't told him that I had a baby, it's all new to me. So I told him I had a baby and it was complicated so we didn't see each other for about a month and again I met him when I was out again he walked me home. He text me again the next day and I told him again it was complicated, I was just out of a 3year relationship. So we didn't see each other then for a 3rd time I met him out this time it was different I started to want him. He told me he didn't care about my baby. I saw him 3times that week and I was falling for him fast. He was really interested in me always txting wanting to meet me. He then tells me he wants to take things easy which I was totally fine about. He then starts to cool off but still telling me he wants to be with me so I'm txting him. I did feel he was becoming distant, he'd say he'd meet me then he would call it off. He was said how he found it hard but I was making all the effort. The more he didn't meet me the more I wanted him. I did text him a lot but only cause I was confused. Can a guy who said he liked me so much and wanted to be with me just go off me? Was he scared at the thought of me with a baby? Or did I scare him away with text messages? I'm just so upset cause I totally believe he's genuine. I need some advice to help me feel better. I know this problem isn't major but I hate not knowing what's wrong. I wish he would just tell me.xx

Ask him, not confrontationally... but ask him what it is that he desires of you... the baby will not be his issue unless he is uncertain as to your relationship with the baby's father.

You must admit that you sent him some confusing signals which may have now become the basis of his contemplation. Are you truly interested in him? If so, why? Are you not able to call him, to communicate beyond text mess.
He may need a little assurance on your part, to know that it will be profitable to pursue a relationship with you. Think about, not many prefer to be the odd man out. I know not what type of non-verbal communication you sent out, whether you conveyed that you are looking for a friend, someone to tie you over while you work on the rough spots in your past relation, or whether you released yourself to embrace a new prospect, in any case... you will stay in the dark until you ask him...

However, before doing so, it would be best to know what type of relation you desire from him. Be clear concerning what you want, and know exactly what is being offered, and if that truly meets your expectation.

Lighten up a bit, because we do not know his exact position... what it is that he sought in you and what type of relation, if any, had he recently experienced.

More importantly, it is essential to know the reason why you have fallen so hard, so fast for a virtual stranger.

Hi and welcome to the forum. From one 'single mom' to another, although my baby is already 29, you need to think about where you met this guy. You were in a club, probably having a few drinks too many the first time.. did you drink as much the second time? He might have picked up on that and thought you'd be 'easy' to have a one-nighter with. And it could be since you did not meet his expectations he lost interest after the 3rd time, especially after you told him your life was 'complicated' He might just say he's not bothered by the baby, but might not want the responsibility of the complicated baggage you are still carrying around with you. Is it possible that you didn't fall for him, but fell for the thought of falling and being with someone to comfort you? After all, you did say it's been a long time and we do get lonely. But to fall for someone on the 'rebound' is not a good idea. Set your priorities and get rid of the old baggage first, gain some confidence in yourself as a person and a mother, and not someone with a 'complicated :confused: past'. This would make anyone have second thoughts. Have you noticed how many times the word 'complicated' was used in your post and mine? You did not however, get into the issue, so I don't think you are ready to share anything with another, until you are ready to share the issue with them, or us. Get in more detail, sound it off on us if you must, but let it out.
How old are you? What's your baby's name? What are your goals in life? Come on, you got to open up to someone, let it be us.. There will be no judgements made here, it will help us understand more therefore be able to furnish better advice. You've got to get rid of the 'old', all of it, before starting with something 'new' in your lives (you and your baby). Make some new friends in the park with your children, talk about single parenthood with those who share the same fate. Have you thought of joining a single parent group? I sure hope you are getting support from your family, this makes it a little easier. Wishing you all the best and hoping you'll keep us posted.

Hi,
You are in a completely different world now; with a baby. You are no longer a woman who is looking for men in the same way as you did before.
Many men are not ready for an "instant family"... as you will find out for yourself. I think you are already finding out. This man is not for you.
As another said, find a group of mothers just like you, and go to some meetings. You need support from others with kids.
The most important thing in your world right now is YOU, and your baby.
Go to meetings for unwed mothers. Use your phone book, call your local Social Services for information, if you have one.
Best of luck,
fredg

From your post it sounds as if you were somewhat ambivalent yourself at first and that may be what scared him off. Since you say that you just wish he would tell you what's wrong, why don't you confront him with it and ask him to tell you? You seem to have pretty strong feelings for him so find out how he feels about you. This may get the two of you communicating better which may in turn jump-start any potential relationship that could be in the making, or at the very least let you know where you stand with him.