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denisemj · Jun 7, 2010, 01:28 AM

I don't know what to do I think I'm pregnant agan I had an iud inserted three months ago due too having four miscarages the last two within the year I'm 36 years old and don't know how to get the right support I had none the last two times and promised my spouse I wouldent go through this again I'm afraid to let him know he was so distant last time and detached emotionally I don't know where to go I live in because and am on disabillity due too anxiety I'm not on meds am diabetic where do I get help

DoulaLC · Jun 7, 2010, 02:57 AM

First things first... determine whether you are actually pregnant. If you are, the IUD will need to be removed. You may want to speak to your doctor about support for the miscarriages. They should be able to direct you to a program in your area. Speak to other mothers who have experienced the same situation. It can take time to work through the grief and disappointment. You and your husband will likely deal with it differently and with different time frames for healing and moving passed it... that is OK... it is normal.

Do you have children already? Was a reason determined for the prior miscarriages? If you are considering children in the future, you may want to also ask your doctor about possible reasons for the miscarriages. There are some issues that can be determined after the fact that may provide you with help for a future pregnancy. If you are sure you don't want to become pregnant, perhaps also discussing means to make it more permanent might be considered.

I wish you well...

denisemj · Jun 7, 2010, 10:35 AM

I have no children the reason for the miscarages are I have PCOS I think its primary cystic ovary syndrom which meens my eggs were not developing propely I didn't find out till two months ago I also am rh negative too I've always wanted a child and that's why it hurts so much I might go to the walk in clinic to get pregnancy test but if I can help it I don't want my spouce knowing right away and as far as going to my dr for support I don't know how too the last time I tried that she wanted to put me on an atidepressant but all I wanted too do is let the pain out over the miscarage not sroun it with meds I don't suffer from depresion it was just a tramatic time now I might be facing it again and I don't know if or how ill be able too every time I had pregnancy symptoms I was pregnant that's why I'm hopeing I'm not I just can't be excited then devistated again

ambjuju · Jun 7, 2010, 10:51 PM

Pregnancy while having an IUD can be dangerous for both you and for the baby. You need to call your care provider and confirm if you are or are not pregnant. A local health department may offer reduce or no cost appointments for you. Since your spouse has concerns I wouldn't tell him until you know what's going on for sure.

DoulaLC · Jun 8, 2010, 02:55 AM

Originally Posted by denisemj

i have no children the reason for the miscarages are i have PCOS i think its primary cystic ovary syndrom which meens my eggs were not developing propely i didnt find out till two months ago i also am rh negative too ive always wanted a child and thats why it hurts so much i might go to the walk in clinic to get pregnancy test but if i can help it i dont want my spouce knowing right away and as far as going to my dr for support i dont know how too the last time i tried that she wanted to put me on an atidepressant but all i wanted too do is let the pain out over the miscarage not sroun it with meds i dont suffer from depresion it was just a tramatic time now i might be facing it again and i dont know if or how ill be able too every time i had pregnancy symptoms i was pregnant thats why im hopeing im not i just can't be excited then devistated again

If your doctor does not know of anyone you can talk with that might help, here is a great place to start: pcos You will find a great deal of information and support with regard to PCOS and becoming pregnant.

In regard to the use of medication, for some people, a short time of use for anxiety or feelings of being overwhelmed, which can actually be symptoms of depression, may be helpful. It depends on what you are feeling, how long you have been feeling that way, and how much those feelings impact your life. Only you can decide if you feel you might need that sort of additional help for a short time.

As ambjuju said, see if you are pregnant first, but whether you are, do check out the website. I think being able to talk with other women who have experienced the same situation can be tremendously helpful. You will find it easier to understand your husband's response and offer him support as well.