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    Confushasay's Avatar
    Confushasay Posts: 27, Reputation: 2
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    #1

    Aug 1, 2012, 06:07 PM
    I'm an adult and possibly pregnant--parents will kill me if I'm pregnant
    Well I'm in my mid 20's still studying in a relationship (not engaged or married) have been together almost a year don't live together. My parents are very religious and my sister is their golden child she dated her now husband for many years before he proposed and even though they've been married for a year they aren't trying for a baby so in my parents eyes they're the perfect couple. I've had a pregnancy scare a long time ago and had to tell mum (luckily my body was playing tricks on me and I wasn't pregnant) when I told mum then she flipped said I'm going to hell my then boyfriend of 10mths left me because he thought I was pregnant and was threatening me and abusing me. Now a few years later I have found the guy I want to spend the rest of my life with and he said he will never leave me he isn't ready for a child just yet because of financial reasons and doesn't think I am either because I still have to finish my degree but if I decide to keep it he will support me and sell things to make money for us. The whole problem is that I'm an ADULT! And so damn scared to tell my parents mum keeps mentally abusing me saying if you ever fall pregnant before marriage I'll be shocked dad will be disappointed and probably hate you she keeps saying stupid things like that, its not like I'm 16 and pregnant I'm a grown woman! I don't know what to do, if I tell them they'll disown me and kick me out (No doubt about it) if I don't they'll still disown me and kick me out as I'll start showing my parents stress me out that much that I'm depressed I have to be exactly like my sister study study until I become a doctor or lawyer or CEO date someone for 5 years or more before marriage get married and not have a baby straight after marriage. On top of that my mum keeps paying my partner out and been a b**ch to him she is like your dumb go to university then turns around and goes to me he doesn't suit you, you're like royalty and he is the peasant what kind of human being says stuff like that!! I keep telling her off but she is like whatever. So I now am more convinced they'll never be happy with the fact that I might be having a baby right now. 
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 37,884, Reputation: 5429
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    #2

    Aug 1, 2012, 06:16 PM
    Are you working on a Ph.D. Why are you still living at home? Do your parents pay for school?
    Confushasay's Avatar
    Confushasay Posts: 27, Reputation: 2
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    #3

    Aug 1, 2012, 06:24 PM
    This is my third degree reason why I'm at home is because nobody wants to employ a university student I'd never earn enough working only 5hours a week to pay for rent if I had a lot of money I'd be out of home long time ago so unfortunately I have to stay at home
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 37,884, Reputation: 5429
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    #4

    Aug 1, 2012, 06:33 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Confushasay View Post
    This is my third degree reason why I'm at home is because nobody wants to employ a university student I'd never earn enough working only 5hours a week to pay for rent if I had a lot of money I'd be out of home long time ago so unfortunately I have to stay at home
    Third degree? In what? And what are the other two?

    No friends to be roommates in an apartment? Rent a bedroom in someone's house?
    Confushasay's Avatar
    Confushasay Posts: 27, Reputation: 2
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    #5

    Aug 1, 2012, 06:41 PM
    No, friends are all in relationships and living with partners or have kids of their own. Don't have any single friends.
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 37,884, Reputation: 5429
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    #6

    Aug 1, 2012, 06:48 PM
    No renting a bedroom somewhere?

    Third degree? In what? And what are the other two?
    Confushasay's Avatar
    Confushasay Posts: 27, Reputation: 2
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    #7

    Aug 1, 2012, 06:54 PM
    Like I said previously I can't afford to rent... and what I'm studying really has no importance with what I'm asking help in sorry.
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 37,884, Reputation: 5429
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    #8

    Aug 1, 2012, 06:55 PM
    Are you really pregnant or just possibly?
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    Wondergirl Posts: 37,884, Reputation: 5429
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    #9

    Aug 1, 2012, 06:57 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Confushasay View Post
    Like I said previously I can't afford to rent...and what I'm studying really has no importance with what I'm asking help in sorry.
    Yes, it does. You raved about how you are being abused at home, so I'm wondering if your parents are paying for school (now a 3rd degree?? ) and giving you a comfortable place to live. If it were me, I would have figured out a way to leave long ago.
    glammyj05's Avatar
    glammyj05 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #10

    Aug 1, 2012, 07:15 PM
    There is a lot you can do, you just can see it through all the stress. A parent no matter what would except their children for who they, may become and the choices they make. If your happy with your boyfriend stay with him and talk this over. As for your family, don't worry about what they have to say. I know that sounds bad but as you said you're a grown women and you should be able to make your own choices. Third degree.. if I was your parent I would be proud of you not to mention your still in school in your mid 20s and haven't got pregnant. Look at all the good things you've done with your life and stop thinking about the bad. Sooner or later your family is going to accept it and everything is going to be okay. I say keep the baby and let everything thing else fall in to place. If anything this baby will motivate you to work harder and do great in life
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    glammyj05 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #11

    Aug 1, 2012, 07:15 PM
    *can't
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 37,884, Reputation: 5429
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    #12

    Aug 1, 2012, 07:57 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by glammyj05 View Post
    there is a lot you can do, you just can see it through all the stress. A parent no matter what would except their children for who they, may become and the choices they make. If your happy with your bf stay with him and talk this over. as for your family, dont worry about what they have to say. I know that sounds bad but as you said your a grown women and you should be able to make your own choices. third degree.. if i was your parent i would be proud of you not to mention your still in school in your mid 20s and havent got pregnant. look at all the good things youve done with your life and stop thinking about the bad. sooner or later your family is going to accept it and everything is gonna be okay. I say keep the baby and let everything thing else fall in to place. if anything this baby will motivate you to work harder and do great in life
    How will she support herself and a baby? She can't afford to live away from home now. She will bring a baby into her parents' abusive home? Her boyfriend doesn't really want a baby. What about school?

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