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ananzis · Jun 12, 2010, 07:35 AM

My husband and I have been trying to conceive our first child for almost 4 years, I'm 35 years old and my hubby has just turned 42. I found out 2 weeks ago that after all these years of trying I'm finally pregnant. We have waited so long for this happy day and have dreamed about this day for ages, however I seem to be filled with mixed emotions which I never thought I would feel and its really confusing me.

After months and month of negative pregnancy tests and disapointment I kind of pushed the idea out of my head and started to carry on with my life, thinking that the day would never come, I developed the attitude that if it happens it happens and if it didn't it was not meant to be, I had my husband who I love dearly and that was all I needed. Now that it has happened I can't seem to get the scared and anxious feeling out of my mind... its kind of a feeling that I'm now not sure of what I want. One minute I am over the moon about it and the next I'm really unsure as I know that my life from this day forward will now never be the same, am I ready for that change ? Will I be a good mother ? Do I have what it takes to do this ?

Are these normal feeling that most women feel when they first find out they expecting or is it just me. Do these feeling go away further into my pregnancy once I can start to feel life inside me.

PLease help any advise would be greatly appreciated.

J_9 · Jun 12, 2010, 07:44 AM

Ananzis,

Fist let me congratulate you on your pregnancy. I know you have fought long and hard about this.

Second, these feelings are perfectly normal. I had these feelings with all 4 of my pregnancies.

No, your life will never be the same as it was, but you will have someone new to share it with.

Being scared is perfectly normal. You are venturing into a new dimension in your life. A wonderful journey filled with new feelings both emotional and physical. Pregnancy is amazing, in my opinion. To create another living breathing human being is nothing short of a miracle.

DoulaLC · Jun 12, 2010, 07:53 AM

Congrats!! How exciting for you... and while you may not always feel that way right now, you will... :)

It is very normal to have the mixed feelings and questions that you do. There is much unknown, especially with it being your first... and no doubt the years of trying compound that.
Even women who have had a child will question how will they do with two, will they be able to love another child as much, will they be up to the job, etc..

It would also be understandable to feel a bit apprehensive about how the pregnancy will go given you have tried for so long.

As you focus now on pregnancy, and all that entails, you will likely start to find your feelings shift. Learn as much as you can about pregnancy, childbirth, early parenting. This will help you build your confidence that you will make the choices that are best for you and your growing family. You might find prenatal groups fun and supportive... such as yoga in pregnancy, where you can talk and share with other mothers. There are pregnancy groups online as well that many women find great support in.

Wishing you a smooth and joyous pregnancy!