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    Child Support and no visitation rights.

    Asked May 2, 2008, 01:45 PM 16 Answers
    Hello,

    I am almost 5 month pregnant and my ex boyfriend of 2 1/2 years left me when I told him I was pregnant. The baby is his and he broke up with me and said he want nothing to do with me or this baby. He is living in boston about an hour and a half away from me and has a well paying job. So, its not like he wouldn't be able to pay, he just doesn't want to be bothered.I would like child support but no visitiation, my ex has an alcohol problem and is known to cause trouble...

    Can I get child support after he signs his rights away? (he has threatened that if I file for support he will do so)

    Does his name have to be on the birth cert. to receive any child support?

    If he pays child support does that include visitation rights? Or can he not have that?

    Can he get out of it completely if he says he didn't want to keep it but I did?

    I just feel completely in the dark with all of this being my first time having a child. My parents and I are trying to figure out what to do when this baby comes that will not involve him in the most possible way but still receive some sort of child support. I figured I would try one of these questions to professionals before I paid a ton for a lawyer...


    Thanks...

    Last edited by xxcrystal0005xx; May 2, 2008 at 02:10 PM.
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    xxcrystal0005xx's Avatar
    xxcrystal0005xx Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
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    #2

    May 2, 2008, 01:49 PM
    Im pregnant and need answers on Child Support.
    Hello,

    I am almost 5 month pregnant and my ex boyfriend of 2 1/2 years left me when I told him I was pregnant. The baby is his and he broke up with me and said he want nothing to do with me or this baby.

    When this baby is born I would like child support.
    Can I get child support after he signs his rights away? (he has threatened that if I file for support he will do so)

    Does his name have to be on the birth cert. to receive any child support?

    If he pays child support does that include visitation rights? Or can he not have that?


    My parents and I are trying to figure out what to do when this baby comes that will not involve him in the most possible way but still receive some sort of child support. I figured I would try one of these questions to professionals before I paid a ton for a lawyer...


    Thanks...
    Helpful
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,803, Reputation: 6026
    Computer Expert and Renaissance Man
     
    #3

    May 2, 2008, 01:50 PM


    There are hundreds of threads here that answer your question. If your ex thinks he can get out of child support just by signing his rights away he's in for a rude awakening. The fact is that laws do differe from state to state, but the bottom line is no judge will allow a termination of parental rights (TPR) just to allow someone to get out of supporting their child.

    If you want support, you should put his name on the because. He may challenge it and ask for a paternity test. If his name is not on the BC it will be harder to get support.

    Generally, support and visitation are considered separately. But if he wants visitation and doesn't present a danger to the child, its unlikely it would be refused.
    Helpful
    xxcrystal0005xx's Avatar
    xxcrystal0005xx Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
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    #4

    May 2, 2008, 01:53 PM
    I'm pregnant, and I am wondering how child support works.
    Hello,

    I am almost 5 month pregnant and my ex boyfriend of 2 1/2 years left me when I told him I was pregnant. The baby is his and he broke up with me and said he want nothing to do with me or this baby.

    When this baby is born I would like child support.
    Can I get child support after he signs his rights away? (he has threatened that if I file for support he will do so)

    Does his name have to be on the birth cert. to receive any child support?

    If he pays child support does that include visitation rights? Or can he not have that?


    My parents and I are trying to figure out what to do when this baby comes that will not involve him in the most possible way but still receive some sort of child support. I figured I would try one of these questions to professionals before I paid a ton for a lawyer...


    Thanks...
    Helpful
    xxcrystal0005xx's Avatar
    xxcrystal0005xx Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    May 2, 2008, 01:58 PM
    OK... that is useful.. thank you! =)

    my ex is w/o a doubt an alcoholic... would visitation rights be taking away for that?
    Helpful
    xxcrystal0005xx's Avatar
    xxcrystal0005xx Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
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    #6

    May 2, 2008, 02:14 PM
    *UPDATED* Im pregnant and am wondering about child support.
    Hello,

    I am almost 5 month pregnant and my ex boyfriend of 2 1/2 years left me when I told him I was pregnant. The baby is his and he broke up with me and said he want nothing to do with me or this baby. He is living in boston about an hour and a half away from me and has a well paying job. So, its not like he wouldn't be able to pay, he just doesn't want to be bothered.I would like child support but no visitiation, my ex has an alcohol problem and is known to cause trouble...

    Can I get child support after he signs his rights away? (he has threatened that if I file for support he will do so)

    Does his name have to be on the birth cert. to receive any child support?

    If he pays child support does that include visitation rights? Or can he not have that?

    Can he get out of it completely if he says he didn't want to keep it but I did?

    I just feel completely in the dark with all of this being my first time having a child. My parents and I are trying to figure out what to do when this baby comes that will not involve him in the most possible way but still receive some sort of child support. I figured I would try one of these questions to professionals before I paid a ton for a lawyer...


    Thanks...
    Helpful
    xxcrystal0005xx's Avatar
    xxcrystal0005xx Posts: 6, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #7

    May 2, 2008, 02:16 PM
    I'm 5 months pregnant, how does child support work?
    Hello,

    I am almost 5 month pregnant and my ex boyfriend of 2 1/2 years left me when I told him I was pregnant. The baby is his and he broke up with me and said he want nothing to do with me or this baby. He is living in boston about an hour and a half away from me and has a well paying job. So, its not like he wouldn't be able to pay, he just doesn't want to be bothered.I would like child support but no visitiation, my ex has an alcohol problem and is known to cause trouble...

    Can I get child support after he signs his rights away? (he has threatened that if I file for support he will do so)

    Does his name have to be on the birth cert. to receive any child support?

    If he pays child support does that include visitation rights? Or can he not have that?

    Can he get out of it completely if he says he didn't want to keep it but I did?

    I just feel completely in the dark with all of this being my first time having a child. My parents and I are trying to figure out what to do when this baby comes that will not involve him in the most possible way but still receive some sort of child support. I figured I would try one of these questions to professionals before I paid a ton for a lawyer...


    Thanks...
    Helpful
    George_1950's Avatar
    George_1950 Posts: 3,100, Reputation: 236
    Ultra Member
     
    #8

    May 2, 2008, 02:27 PM
    Your baby is not yet born so do not get overworked about visitation. His initial visitation may be limited to visiting the baby in your home for the first one to three years; at the rate he is going, he may never visit. A judge will try to do what is in the best interests of your child; alcoholism is relevant, as are all his habits and all your habits.
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    nikosmom's Avatar
    nikosmom Posts: 1,611, Reputation: 488
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    #9

    May 2, 2008, 02:29 PM
    He can't "just sign his rights" away. He doesn't just get to "get out of it" just because you chose to keep the baby. If that were the case, every deadbeat out there would be using that as an excuse why they shouldn't be accountable for paying child support. He can only sign away his rights if say, you were married and your new husband wanted to adopt the child as his own. Your child is entitled to the support. Visitation and child support are two separate issues. You cannot withhold visitation from him based on payments received or not received. You can only put his name on the birth certificate if he's there to sign it. However, that won't affect you and your baby's rights to receive the support.
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    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 80,618, Reputation: 7623
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    #10

    May 2, 2008, 04:04 PM


    He can not just sign over his rights, you and a judge will have to OK it, and it is not likely to happen.

    He does not have to be on the birth certificate, so latter you prove using DNA he is the father, and request child support, if he wants visits, he has to request it, you can submit evidence of his being a danger and so on, and if he does, try and make it supervised visits. And of course most likely he would not visit anyway
    Helpful
    Rochell's Avatar
    Rochell Posts: 15, Reputation: 1
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    #11

    May 3, 2008, 10:08 AM
    Hi Crystal,
    I am not a professional,but I have been through what you are going through in a sense. I am from TN and I applied for AFDC. This is money you can get from the state on a monthly basis. From there they went after the father of my child. After paternity is determined, the father not only has to take care of the child, but has to pay the state back. He would also have to provide medical insurance for the child. He would have visitation with the child if he chooses to. He can not get out of paying child support because he didn't want the child. It just doesn't work that way. The child doesn't have to have his last name in order for the father to be responsible either. The only reason he is telling you he will sign his rights away is to get you not to pursue him on child support. You will be all right without him. I am a single parent of a 17 yr. old and a 7 yr. old and I have to be honest, it isn't easy. But I'll tell you this, your child is going to depend on you for everything and it will get easier when you look in his/her eyes and know, "I can't fail". If you ever need to talk just send me a message. Also, if the father gets behind on his child support, he could go to jail or lose his drivers license and the state will take his income tax if he gets so far behind and send it to you for the baby.
    Helpful
    ordinaryguy's Avatar
    ordinaryguy Posts: 1,790, Reputation: 596
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    #12

    May 3, 2008, 12:45 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by xxcrystal0005xx
    He is living in boston about an hour and a half away from me and has a well paying job. So, its not like he wouldn't be able to pay, he just doesn't want to be bothered.
    It's a little late for not being bothered. He has a legal obligation to provide for his child, and the only way for him not to be "bothered" is if a judge relieves him of that obligation, and that ain't going to happen short of a full legal adoption by somebody else. HOEWVER, the law is not self-enforcing, so you have to stay on top of the legal process and don't let anything slide.
    Quote Originally Posted by xxcrystal0005xx
    I would like child support but no visitiation, my ex has an alcohol problem and is known to cause trouble...
    Then that's what you should ask the court for when you file. Be prepared to offer plenty of credible evidence of his unfitness to have visitation rights, because if he insists on it, (which he might, just to mess with you) the burden of proof will be on you to show that he's unfit. It usually has to be pretty bad for a court to refuse any visitation at all if the non-custodial parent wants it. Supervised visitation only is more likely.
    Can I get child support after he signs his rights away? (he has threatened that if I file for support he will do so)
    He can sign away, or simply fail to exercise his rights (to visitation), but not his obligations (for child support). Two different issues.
    Does his name have to be on the birth cert. to receive any child support?
    No, but he can (and probably will) insist on proof of paternity.
    If he pays child support does that include visitation rights? Or can he not have that?
    Not necessarily. Again, two different issues.
    Can he get out of it completely if he says he didn't want to keep it but I did?
    Absolutely not!
    I just feel completely in the dark with all of this being my first time having a child. My parents and I are trying to figure out what to do when this baby comes that will not involve him in the most possible way but still receive some sort of child support. I figured I would try one of these questions to professionals before I paid a ton for a lawyer...
    You probably should get a lawyer soon. If he has enough money to hire a good one, and is determined to fight you, you'll need a good one too. Make sure to get somebody with expertise and experience (preferably before the court you file in) in family law. This is important. Any old lawyer won't do. Do some research. The local or state bar association is a good place to start. They will give you a list of lawyers in your area who are qualified to handle your type of case. Your best information would come from someone who works in the family court system and gets to see the lawyers who regularly practice there in action day in and day out.
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    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 80,618, Reputation: 7623
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    #13

    May 3, 2008, 02:49 PM


    If he did not did not want you to get pregnant or keep the baby has nothing to do with it what so ever. Not even an issue that will be addressed.

    Unless the judge will allow him to sign over his rights, he can't just sign his rights away. But he can not get out of the child support.

    No you don't have to list him on the birth certificte and often can't in many states unless he signs the birth certificate.

    What you do when the baby is born, file for child support in court, you will have to prove he is the father by DNA test
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    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,803, Reputation: 6026
    Computer Expert and Renaissance Man
     
    #14

    May 3, 2008, 07:16 PM
    If you can prove that he is an alcoholic and a danger to the child you may be able to rpevent visitation or at least make it supervised. But that is down the road.
    Helpful
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,506, Reputation: 4594
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    #15

    May 4, 2008, 07:47 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by xxcrystal0005xx
    ok...that is useful..thank you! =)

    my ex is w/o a doubt an alcoholic...would visitation rights be taking away for that??

    Only if he presents a danger to the child - and I don't see any way you can get support but deny him all access to the child UNLESS he's a danger (and even then the Court often orders supervised visitation).

    He may get visitation and just never exercise it but I don't think you can have it both ways.
    Helpful
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,506, Reputation: 4594
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    #16

    May 4, 2008, 07:49 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by xxcrystal0005xx
    hello,

    i am almost 5 month pregnant and my ex boyfriend of 2 1/2 years left me when i told him i was pregnant. The baby is his and he broke up with me and said he want nothing to do with me or this baby. He is living in boston about an hour and a half away from me and has a well paying job. so, its not like he wouldnt be able to pay, he just doesnt want to be bothered.I would like child support but no visitiation, my ex has an alcohol problem and is known to cause trouble...

    Can i get child support after he signs his rights away?? (he has threatened that if i file for support he will do so)

    Does his name have to be on the birth cert. to receive any child support?

    If he pays child support does that include visitation rights? or can he not have that?

    Can he get out of it completely if he says he didnt want to keep it but i did??

    I just feel completely in the dark with all of this being my first time having a child. My parents and i are trying to figure out what to do when this baby comes that will not involve him in the most possible way but still receive some sort of child support. I figured i would try one of these questions to professionals before i paid a ton for a lawyer...


    thanks...
    Just noticed you've posted this same question 5 times - very confusing for people trying to answer you and getting some info here and some info there. I know you're upset but this makes it hard for people trying to help.
    Helpful (1)
    Curlyben's Avatar
    Curlyben Posts: 18,005, Reputation: 1834
    Admin & Wine Expert
     
    #17

    May 4, 2008, 09:53 AM
    Bunch of threads merged.
    Please stick to ONE thread as this is all the same issue.
    Helpful

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