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    crazy69's Avatar
    crazy69 Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Mar 13, 2009, 02:23 PM
    I am pregnant with new boyfriend and still in love with my Ex.
    Hi, I am currently 20 weeks pregnant with a guy I was dating for about 7 months at the time I got pregnant. When we started dating I was just ending a 3 year relationship. For the next 7 months I started dating someone new I was still wondering if I made the right decision by breaking up with my Ex. At this time I am excited about the baby but have recently got back in contact with my Ex. He knows I am pregnant and does not care because he loves me and wants to still marry me. What should I do. I really need time alone to clear my head as I never got time alone when we broke up. But I know if I leave my new BF (the father of my unborn child) he will be devistated. What to do?
    Justwantfair's Avatar
    Justwantfair Posts: 3,422, Reputation: 944
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    #2

    Mar 13, 2009, 02:28 PM

    If you need time alone, then you need time alone. Not taking the time to sort out your feelings could be determental to your mental health in the future.

    Just make sure that you take the time alone as time alone, not time to rekindle your relationship with your ex, which would devistate your child's father. Please realize that no matter what you decide, the child's father will be in your life for the next 18+ years whether you stay in the relationship or not and you owe it to your child to work that relationship the most.

    Just because your ex will love and still marry you whether you are pregnant or not doesn't mean that he becomes this unborn child father. You don't get to pick the child's DNA at this point.
    artlady's Avatar
    artlady Posts: 4,208, Reputation: 1477
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    #3

    Mar 13, 2009, 03:14 PM

    I think you should at least make an attempt to make the relationship work with the baby's father.Unless he is a bad guy you owe it to your unborn child to make an attempt to give your child two parents.

    The ex is an ex for a reason and they often look real good after months of separation.Recall why you broke up.It may be no better the second time around.

    Being a single parent is no walk in the park so choose wisely.
    neverme's Avatar
    neverme Posts: 1,430, Reputation: 270
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    #4

    Mar 13, 2009, 06:08 PM

    Take the time and think about this alone.

    You think your boyfriend will be hurt with taking a small break, imagine if he finds out in a while that you were with him while thinking of being with your ex.

    Whatever you decide you need to start making these decisions soon so that you can be in a stable place for when your baby arrives.

    I do believe you should try to make it work with the father of your unborn child if you can.

    BUT if it cannot work then you need to be a woman about it and step up to the plate and tell the truth, as soon as you know.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,327, Reputation: 10855
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    #5

    Mar 14, 2009, 11:00 AM

    Take time alone, as you have some important decisions to make, or you all will be devastated. That includes your childs future.
    A mouse's Avatar
    A mouse Posts: 42, Reputation: 5
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    #6

    Mar 25, 2009, 05:34 PM
    You are now and for the next 18 years officially trapped by the title "Mother." From this moment on the only choice you have (unless the current boyfriend is abusive) is to stay with your current boyfriend and make it work. If not for you, do it for the child. Period.

    -Mouse
    liz28's Avatar
    liz28 Posts: 4,662, Reputation: 1034
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    #7

    Mar 25, 2009, 05:53 PM

    Yes, you jumped into a relationship too quick but getting back in touch with your ex wasn't a good choice because now you an outside unfluence and that why your all confuse.

    You have a baby on the way and you need to make the best choice possible that only for yourself but for your child as well. If you need time to reflect than do so but make should you make a good mature one because life isn't only about making the right decisions but it's also about dealing with the decisions you make.
    neverme's Avatar
    neverme Posts: 1,430, Reputation: 270
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    #8

    Mar 25, 2009, 05:58 PM

    A mouse,

    I am not going to give a reddie as I realise this is your opinion but I have to disagree.

    If this woman is not in love with the father of her child, there is no need to be with him. She is by no means 'trapped'

    She will be a mother, a true blessing. But that does not mean she needs to be unhappy with a man she doesn't love.

    This does not help a child. They have incredible intuition and will know if their parents are not happy.

    They still both have the ability to be wonderful parents without being together.
    brittany_lost's Avatar
    brittany_lost Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #9

    Nov 16, 2009, 12:01 AM
    I don't know same sit her

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