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    writer1hal's Avatar
    writer1hal Posts: 36, Reputation: 5
    In love with life!
     
    #1

    Mar 13, 2016, 01:06 AM
    Should I leave home?
    Hello everyone,

    I am young adult and live with my parents. They take care of my necessities. Still, every once in a while, I am asked to leave home. My parents want to me to do one of the two things (as per our conversation) to stay at home and obey everything what they say. For example to eat when they say, to talk and to not talk when they don't want me to, and many more things. Other option is to leave home and stay in a hostel. I had also visited one in my city which was affordable and fulfilling basic requirements. I have started working as well. But the job pays monthly so I would have to borrow money either from my parents or my friends.

    I am adult enough to manage on my own and take care of my career and things and stay secured. My personal view is to leave and pursue my career in order to prove my moral individuality.

    There was 10 per cent of uncertainty towards making this decision. Therefore, I could not find any better place than this to be clear whether my decision of leaving home is understandable to you.
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,271, Reputation: 5643
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    #2

    Mar 13, 2016, 01:30 AM
    Being "adult enough to manage" on your own means not borrowing money from anyone for anything. Can you do that?
    writer1hal's Avatar
    writer1hal Posts: 36, Reputation: 5
    In love with life!
     
    #3

    Mar 13, 2016, 01:54 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by J_9 View Post
    Being "adult enough to manage" on your own means not borrowing money from anyone for anything. Can you do that?
    As I mentioned, I am working. I have given my salary of my past few months to the family. The salary of this month will be enough to pay my rent and manage everything else as well and return the money I borrowed.

    It is maybe the reason of uncertainty.
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,271, Reputation: 5643
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    #4

    Mar 13, 2016, 02:48 AM
    If you want to do this the "adult" way, you do it without borrowing any money.
    DoulaLC's Avatar
    DoulaLC Posts: 10,488, Reputation: 1952
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    #5

    Mar 13, 2016, 04:54 AM
    Are you in school as well? If not, you may want to consider taking on a part-time job as well to help yourself get ahead.

    If your full-time job would cover only your expenses, the additional money will help you to build a nice emergency fund (you will need it sooner or later), feel more secure on your own, and then save towards a home. n
    Now would be an ideal time to do so since you do not have other responsibilities.
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,593, Reputation: 2941
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    #6

    Mar 13, 2016, 05:24 AM
    Leave home AFTER you have saved enough for a few emergencies out on your own. Write a list of expenses and income, and possible extra expenses. Don't borrow.
    Tell your parents when it will be, and show them your expense list.
    During the time left, be obedient no matter how annoying the rules are. Might as well leave with the best image they can have of you. There will be plenty of times when you will be invited back for a holiday or family event.
    writer1hal's Avatar
    writer1hal Posts: 36, Reputation: 5
    In love with life!
     
    #7

    Mar 13, 2016, 06:17 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by joypulv View Post
    Leave home AFTER you have saved enough for a few emergencies out on your own. Write a list of expenses and income, and possible extra expenses. Don't borrow.
    Tell your parents when it will be, and show them your expense list.
    During the time left, be obedient no matter how annoying the rules are. Might as well leave with the best image they can have of you. There will be plenty of times when you will be invited back for a holiday or family event.
    That is completely helpful! :) This is what I wanted to do but just because of the irritation I was confused. Thank you so much! Keep doing the great work!
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,009, Reputation: 10852
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    #8

    Mar 13, 2016, 09:12 AM
    Talk to your parents and see if they are agreeable to letting you give them less and help you save for your move yourself. That's better than borrowing, and even if they don't agree, at least you will know what you have to do on your own. I think I would have left the first time they asked me to turn over my WHOLE check to them to be perfectly honest.

    Of course you will struggle at first, WE ALL DID!

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