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    amardeepmannu's Avatar
    amardeepmannu Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jun 9, 2014, 09:08 AM
    Negative effects by being unfavored on me
    Hello to all community, this is amardeep. I am 23 years old facing extremely unacceptable difficulties for a long time for 5 years. I am the elder one in my family with two siblings. I have been in dysfunctional family relationship of parents since I was born. And bad time had been on me after I was get failed in my B Com part 1 due to family conflicts and sense of feeling financially insecure. MY FATHER has treated me as much as he could but in 2008 and after that he has got insolvent in business and consistently getting downfalls and now he is completely unsupportive to me and my family.

    My mother for a long is an extremely abusive mother to me. At present if I want to read by my own my mother here also doesn't support me. She wants that "I should give her whatever I earn whether it is for my own or not". But to my younger brother she is careful for him and wants to build his career. She doesn't care what though if I am not being treated as like my brother how I live socially if I will not study and will not have financial savings for backup.

    As per my long time experience it was of no use if I sacrifice all my desires for my family and I have approached to this conclusion after a deep survey in my family.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,122, Reputation: 10852
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    #2

    Jun 9, 2014, 09:29 AM
    This is often the case in many culture where the son is held higher than a daughter and poverty makes people desperate. Right or wrong you cannot ignore the fact that they see him having more earning power than you and depend on it since your father cannot. Obviously, neither can your mother. This leaves you in the position of being stuck and dependent with no real means of your own.

    This may not seem fair but lack of money leaves few options, and failing your course work for whatever reason, helps no one, not even yourself, just made it worse. I can only suggest you hide what you can from what you earn for yourself and any future opportunities to make a better life for yourself.
    Precious7's Avatar
    Precious7 Posts: 333, Reputation: 61
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    #3

    Jun 9, 2014, 05:18 PM
    Amardeep! You are right you need to study, you need financial backup for your future! And as you said 'after long survey you reached the conclusion that your sacrifices is of no use', I don't know why they treat you like that but I would say that you have done what you could do, now just focus on what "YOU'' want to do in your life for yourself! I would say that make money and pay for your studies and rest of the money save it for the future if you want but if you still want to give your mother your earnings, don't give full, just give very little portion of your earnings, if they don't realize what you do then, you don't feel bad even if you don't give them. People in this world think about themselves first then others, so don't feel bad, infact think this way even though they did bad to u, you still give them the "very little' portion of your earning at least(only if u want to give, if not that's OK too). But you still love them, and be with them how you were. But this time you act responsibly for your own life!
    All the best!

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