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MISSIBAYBE · Jan 2, 2007, 04:30 PM

I'm not a depressed person. I have some issues with my personal life and all I have are friends and family to talk to. For every argument I have with my boyfriend, I make a point to tell a friend, or maybe even two. Sometimes I feel that I tell people too much and they could judge me or my relationship. How do control this? It makes me feel better knowing that people understand what I'm going through and can give me helpful advice. Even if it means telling me that I'm in the wrong. My biggest fear is bottling everything up and have it drive me crazy! That's why I talk about everything when it comes to my relationship. What to do?

shenda · Jan 2, 2007, 05:23 PM

Allow yourself to enjoy peace... you know that whomever you share your intimate details of life with may betray or honor our confidence, in either case we understand that we can not control what another may/maynot do; therefore, we weigh.consider the matter and know that whatever we decide to do; consqences shall follow. If you feel that you share too much information then the solution is simple... guard your tongue

MISSIBAYBE · Jan 2, 2007, 05:26 PM

Thank you for the advice. I just decided to use this site as an answer now!

J_9 · Jan 2, 2007, 05:47 PM

One thing you can do is to start a diary or journal, if you have not already. Write everything in your diary/journal that you would tell friends or family.

Honestly, what happens in private should stay in private.

You could use this site as an avenue for an outlet considering its anonymity. Your friends/family may judge you, but what you say could paint a bad picture for your boyfriend. Maybe something you say could make someone angry, when you really were just trying to get it off your chest. Then they may think that your boyfriend is a bad person or hold grudges against him.

Have your tried a diary/journal?

MISSIBAYBE · Jan 2, 2007, 05:52 PM

You've asked me what I've been asking myself recently... what if what I've been telling my friends come back to bite me in the butt later on. For example, if we get married, they could say, "He's not worth is, they had too many problems." I've wanted to write a diary but I'm afraid of my boyfriend finding it and reading my true feelings. I guess I could keep a journal on my laptop but I'm sure he'll get the picture if I whip out the computer after every heated argument. But even so, after I get that off my chest, who's going to tell me what to do, or who's in the right and wrong?

J_9 · Jan 2, 2007, 05:58 PM

You are going to tell you what to do... That is the bottom line.

What you can do is keep a journal, maybe hide it under the mattress or somewhere he won't find it. A couple of days later read what you wrote. Your ideas will come to you when you are not "in the heat of battle."

Yes, biting you in the butt will happen, I have seen it MANY times. I have actually been there myself a long time ago.

When you look back at what you wrote you are likely to have a revelation and realize on your own how to fix the problem.

Let me ask though. What you are going through now, is that what you want for the rest of your life?

JoeCanada76 · Jan 2, 2007, 06:34 PM

Janine is correct.

By writing your thoughts out on paper, on computer, where ever you do it. You will be able to look back on what you wrote and have thought about things more clearer. For me I am a writer. I put everything down on paper, and it feels good to release all my thoughts. See I do not need to tell everybody my personal thoughts. Like Janine said you will be able to get answers from yourself. Self exploration. The only way to do that is by getting your thoughts down. I do agree that no body needs to know everything especially your own personal life, because yes, whatever you may say could come and bite you in the rear.

A question I have is, your boyfriend. Is he controlling in anyway. The reason why I ask is because you say that he will probably figure it out about you writing on the computer, or your worried about him seeing your true feelings. Why do you have these fears, and does he give you your own privacy?

So I do hope you use this website as a way to get your feelings and thoughts out, plus your able to get really good advice from people who care. I hope everything works out and remember to do your best in releasing your thoughts on paper, it is pure therapy.

Joe

MISSIBAYBE · Jan 3, 2007, 10:12 AM

Thanks for the advice. I will start writing down my thoughts on my computer. He's not controlling like that. But I've been doing a lot of self-discovery. I know the person I've become... good because of him and the bad will have to change. You both have really good input. I've actually come up with a list of new year's resolutions to improve my well-being and my relationship, and discussed them with him last night. All I can do is better myself! 2007 will be a great year!

s2tp · Jan 3, 2007, 10:31 AM

Yeah very good idea! I have kept a journal for 6 years now. However I have found myself talking too much to friends too. I have always considered myself a very open person... open minded and very open with talking about myself and my life.. however I am learning now, at the age of 24, that I don't need to be, and just shouldn't be so honest cause some people just can't handle it appropriately. I have had my honesty hit me in the face, or bite me in the butt... however you want to see it... lol...

I am trying to improve myself, and try not to always say what's on my mind... to think before speaking.. hah.

Good Luck with your improvements!

MISSIBAYBE · Jan 3, 2007, 10:38 AM

I am also an open person. My girlfriend the other day told me that she envied my relationship. That we look like we're so much in love! And well, I wanted her to continue to perceive us like that even though I know when we have our downs, it's the worst. Thank you!