My boyfriend and I have been dating for 16 months now. When he met me I was a party girl and very sociable, I drank and smoked, but I wasn't scandalous, just extra friendly. Unfortunately my boyfriend din't like what I was doing and I changed my ways. I stopped drinking and smoking and then ditched all my friends. I've been clean for almost a year now and yet I miss that stuff, and even though cigarettes and alcohol was fun to do but bad for my health. I'd rather do them than be in the relationship. Its like the sociable part of me just left, but I really miss my friends and all the stuff we did. The other problem is that my relationship doesn't suck, my boyfriend is my new best friend and we do everything together and its just so much fun. I'm not sure whether we should just become friends and I go back to the fun crazy sociable person I was or to hold onto the relationship and try making cleaner friends?

Try making cleaner friends, its better for your health. Your b/f sounds like a very good choice.

It sounds to me that he has been a good influence on you! But that doesn't mean you should stay with him either. You need to listen to your heart. Try to imagine life without him... not how life used to be before you were together but how life would be now if you were to breakup. It sounds like you have a good relationship and a good man. Maybe you just need to talk to him and suggust some activities that you can do together that are more fun for you... such as going to a party and drinking or a club or something. That way he will be with you and it doesn't have to be an every weekend kind of thing... Maybe do this once a month or so that way you don't get too bored being a "good girl" but you don't lose him to alcohol and ciggarettes. And I totally give you this advice based on personnal experience... Before my husband and I got married I was really into partying and stuff too but he came into my life and didn't like that so I stopped because I love him. Now we occasionally go out and "party" but not like crazy college students or anything and life could not be any better! Love is worth the sacrifices we make. But if you feel that you would rather be doing these other things instead of being in that relationship then maybe it isn't really love. Take some time to think about it cause if you walk away from him too quickly you might not be able to get him back!

Maybe you need a reality check. If you had continued in your old life style in ten years you would look 20 years older due to the cigarette smoke prematurely aging you. You likely could have become an alcoholic and been in and out of several bad relationships resulting in a couple of children by different men. All of which could have major problems because of your drinking. Or if you continue clean and sober, you could still look young and beautiful, have several healthy children by the same man, be happy and have a wonderful relationship with your family. Your choice! Want more? Go to a couple of AA meetings and listen to the stories.

Thanks guys. This guy is really special