Help me get back on my feet!
Asked Apr 26, 2003, 08:39 PM
To get straight to the problem... it all started with me losing my job the only thing in my life I was proud of because I worked so hard to get it. I worked for the railroad for 3 years before I was dismissed. My mom was living with me at the time who is a paronoid schizophrenic. Which is very hard to deal with especially at 22 years old, and I had a boyfriend who just didn't want to work was always out in the street. So after I got fired from my job I sent my mother back to New York, and left my boyfriend and went to stay with some chruch people so I could get my life back in order.
I stayed with the chruch people for about 2 months I couldn't get no job, and I had just had a miscarraige so I was stressed out. My boyfriend was coming to chruch and doing really good. So we decided to go see his family so he could get a job and make some money so we could come back and get an apartment and not have to stay with anybody. Well the whole time I was getting unemployment from the railroad and supporting us. So we got married I think I got married because he kept stressing about it. I really didn't think we were ready and was wasn't sure if it was right because we had only been split up for 2 months well he kept talking about and pushing me so we got married. Everything was good for about 2 more months after that things went right back the way they were when I was working at the railroad. He started going out, he claimed he was tired of living a christian life. He started lying again. He started cheating again. I started to find numbers in his pockets. We didn't do anything we were supposed to do when we went to stay with his family. We ended up coming back to where we originally was and staying with people. We stayed with up to 3 families. We started fighting because of the things I would find in his pockets. So we ended up splitting up. He calls me after he done did his thing and wants to come back, says he going to do better and we went through this 2 time already. Then I get a call from my family and their telling me my mother's coming to stay with me and that she's not going to drive them crazy. Mind you they know that I'm staying with people. I can't get an apartment because I broke a lease. So now she down with me the people I was staying with kicked me out because they say they gave me a place to stay so I could serve god, and not just to have a place to stay and because I'm out making sure my mothers OK they say they don't know what I'm doing and they have to protect their house. So my mom's staying on the street & at shelters I'm back with my husband because I have no where else to go. My life is screwed up! Am I not strong enough? Can anybody give me any advice. I don't have any friends because I'm so withdrawn. It's like every time I try to do something good I go down hill.