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    sanakkian's Avatar
    sanakkian Posts: 1, Reputation: 1
    New Member
     
    #1

    Feb 23, 2017, 10:04 AM
    Feeling so lonely.. help me?
    I'm a single and working in software field. I'm feeling so lonely as I don't hv any girlfriend.also am feeling I don't hv talent to make anyone as my girlfriend :(. Also I'm losing hope and thinking myself very low. I'm just reached 27 now and I'm trying to find someone from my age of 22. But I'm not able to find. I'm feeling so lonely and feeling so frustrated. Sometimes feeling to quit my life. People uses me whenever they needs :( I'm so helpless. Please anybody help me..
    ma0641's Avatar
    ma0641 Posts: 15,681, Reputation: 1012
    Uber Member
     
    #2

    Feb 23, 2017, 10:37 AM
    I think you need an EGO boost!! You might want to talk to someone about improving your self image. Go out to a park, library, anyplace with same aged people. Find a hiking trail, go to a soccer game even a food store at 5:30PM, lots of single people there. People will use you if you let them. Set a boundary and say NO sometimes.
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,593, Reputation: 2941
    current pert
     
    #3

    Feb 23, 2017, 02:20 PM
    Look at you! Handsome guy! I'm a woman, but don't worry, I'm your grandmother's age.
    The only 'talent' needed is to be friendly and nice. Say hi and smile. Don't be fake. Don't overdo it. After a day or two of saying hi, give her a compliment.
    'You have a pretty smile.'
    'I like your hair that way.'
    'I heard you listening to that song - I like it too.'
    After a week of chit chat, you should be able to tell if she is enjoying talking with you. Then you can ask if she wants to walk around the park or get an ice cream. Just for 30 minutes, in the daytime.
    TRY IT!

    If she says she is dating someone, just say 'oh darn' and smile and say 'lucky guy' or something.

    REMEMBER: There are just as many shy, insecure women out there as there are guys who are the same.
    In a way, super shyness is a kind of self centeredness. You spend all your time wondering what people think of you, instead of you thinking about them. You need an ego boost, YET you also need to drop your ego. The less you think about what they think of you, the more they will like you. It's a paradox.

    Now a software guy should like pondering a paradox, right? I'm not just making that up. It really is a weird and wonderful paradox.
    So get out there and be friendly.
    Ask some co-workers to drag you around with them while you just listen and watch.
    And as you pass by every woman at work, say hi. Just a plain, simple, hi. No need to stop in your tracks. Say it as you go by, but look them in the eye, and smile a nice regular little smile.
    Oliver2011's Avatar
    Oliver2011 Posts: 2,606, Reputation: 746
    Ultra Member
     
    #4

    Feb 23, 2017, 02:40 PM
    "I'm feeling so lonely and feeling so frustrated."

    You know when you are negative and feeling negative like the above statement would suggest, you come across as unattractive to others. If you are positive and feel positive you will come across more attractive to others. People want to be around positive people. You and only you controls how you feel from minute to minute. So it's a choice. Given it's a choice why not choose to feel positive and therefore more attractive to others.
    CravenMorhead's Avatar
    CravenMorhead Posts: 4,532, Reputation: 1065
    Adult Sexuality Expert
     
    #5

    Feb 24, 2017, 09:50 AM
    Quote Originally Posted by sanakkian View Post
    I'm a single and working in software field. I'm feeling so lonely as I don't hv any girlfriend.also am feeling I don't hv talent to make anyone as my girlfriend :(. Also I'm losing hope and thinking myself very low. I'm just reached 27 now and I'm trying to find someone from my age of 22. But I'm not able to find. I'm feeling so lonely and feeling so frustrated. Sometimes feeling to quit my life. People uses me whenever they needs :( I'm so helpless. Please anybody help me..
    Find something you like and socialize with it. Get involved with clubs/groups and organizations. It will make your life better and you might find someone who shares your values. Just a note, I didn't get married until I was 32. 5 years older then you. There is always hope.

    I would also adventure outside of the types of women you usually try to hit on. I wouldn't say to lower your standards, but to expand them. Just meet people. I know it is hard as a software professional (I am), but once you get out and find people, something is more likely to happen.

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