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CFZD · May 6, 2008, 11:44 AM

I haven't cried since 9th grade, however I only cry when I am watching movies. I don't make any sound when I am crying but tears all over my face when I am watching sad movies.

In real life I don't cry a bit, even I am by myself and depressed. Why I only cry during movies?

I try to be a strong and happy person, but I don't know if it is normal that I haven't cried since 9th grade.

progunr · May 6, 2008, 11:48 AM

I going to take a guess here, are you male?

Most cultures teach boys that men don't cry.

While it may have served it's purpose several millennium ago, it is rather out of place in today's world.

Do you find yourself fighting to keep from crying, or not feeling like crying at all?

I was like you, never cried, but then I met my wife. She was able to open up things inside me that once released, created bucketful's of tears. I am no longer afraid to cry in front of her, but still find the need to keep the Strong Man image on if anyone else is around and the feeling to cry presents itself.

Sorry I don't have a solution for this but did not want you to feel that you were alone.

CFZD · May 6, 2008, 11:51 AM

I am a straight female...
Thank you for your comments anyway.:)

CFZD · May 6, 2008, 11:54 AM

I feel that crying is not going to solving any problem, so I always look for solutions instead of crying.

I also feel that it is dumb to cry... nothing will change if I cry, right?

I want to be a strong person that's all. After a while, I never had feelings to cry.

progunr · May 6, 2008, 12:01 PM

Not crying has nothing to do with being strong, that is a flawed belief taught to young men.

There are chemical responses to everything your body does, including crying.

Certain chemicals are released when you cry that help you deal with the feelings that caused the crying to begin with and help you and your body cope with those feelings.

You have learned to block the feelings rather than deal with them. Since they haven't been dealt with properly, a sappy scene in a movie most likely brings them to the surface. For some reason, you haven't convinced yourself that you can't cry over a movie yet and that is when it happens.

Just my guess, I'm no doctor, all I know is not only can it help you get over the bad or sad feelings quicker, there is really NOTHING WRONG WITH CRYING.

N0help4u · May 6, 2008, 03:31 PM

I really cry and I believe it is because I am too busy trying to be strong to stop and think about things. I often say I'd have me a nervous breakdown but I am too busy.
I am the same way that I think that crying doesn't solve anything but sometimes things do get too built up and then you think about it and sometimes do end up crying.

CFZD · May 6, 2008, 06:27 PM

Actually I rarely get mad either... I am sometimes afraid that it builds up so much, once it blows up... it is going to be HUGE!

I don't get mad, don't cry... seem like the happiest person in the world to the rest! I actually have feelings too...

CFZD · May 6, 2008, 06:28 PM

I just think it is not nice to release it in front of others, that is not nice or polite and it doesn't help anything, right?

Plus, I don't drink at all... so basically I deal with my emtion on my own, so far it works greatly, I am wondering if anyone else is like me. If it is normal for me to deal it on my own.

N0help4u · May 7, 2008, 10:17 AM

I know exactly what you mean. I never get mad and I rarely cry (maybe 8 times in the past 24 years) Usually when I cry it is because I think of a series of events that lead from one thing to another over the years that I struggled through.
Also when I get in a bad mood which is rare (maybe 6 times in 20 years) People get so unhinged. I get upset and scream you are allowed to have all the bad moods you want any time you want but let me get in a bad mood once and you freak out on me!
It really bothers me that I am not allowed to have emotions but everybody else can.
I feel like I have to keep it together for everybody else, I get tired of having to be the strong one.

CFZD · May 7, 2008, 07:33 PM

N0help4u, I know EXACT what you mean! I am too the one that keeps together for others, even guys would cry in front of me, share their emotions and I am a female I can't do it. Maybe that is not I can't, but seems to me everyone else expects me to be the strong one.

plonak · May 8, 2008, 03:21 PM

Can I ask you a question? And if it's too personal you don't have to answer.. were you adopted at birth or were your parents (mainly your mother) cold to you? And didn't show affection to you? I get the feeling that that is the case here.. I also get that from reading your other posts.. you may be suppressing your feelings because that's how you were raised... and you didn't receive much love, or if you were adopted you felt abandonded.. do you have a hard time loving people or letting people get close? I could TOTALLY be wrong here but hey I barely know you!

Handyman2007 · May 8, 2008, 05:48 PM

There is not a thing wrong with crying. Everyone has their own threshold for tears. If you really needs to cry, you will. I would suggest that if it starts on you, don't stifle it. There is a reason we do it.

CFZD · May 9, 2008, 11:01 AM

To Plonak, your assumption was wrong. I got a lot of love from my family and have a large circle of friends, and I am not cold, I am generally a very happy and strong person. :)

ms williams · Jul 28, 2008, 10:06 PM

Wow. I thought it was only me. I am a female 36 and my friends and I always joke that I'm broke. I don't cry. I feel it solves nothing as well. The only thing that can make me tear up (no actual tears) is the thought of something happening to my dogs. My daughter battled anorexia for 3 years and almost died and I never cried. I couldn't. I thought I was odd but I just do not cry. I do view crying as a weakness. I know I shouldn't but it turns me off and view others a "lesser". I have just come to the conclusion that some people do not need to express themselves that way.

MaGiC_DaN90 · Aug 4, 2008, 09:51 AM

Originally Posted by CFZD

Actually I rarely get mad either...I am sometimes afraid that it builds up so much, once it blows up...it is going to be HUGE!

I don't get mad, don't cry...seem like the happiest person in the world to the rest! I actually have feelings too...

I too rarely get mad, I only get pissed when REALLY provoked, but it builds up, and I've
Learned to suppress my anger (I think.)
Anyway, I'm a guy, and as a guy, the American society has it drilled into everyone's mind
That guys SHOULDN'T cry. But I've learned to NOT care what the hell society has to say. I
Am my own person and a free spirit. I'm not afraid to cry and show my feelings. Not afraid to
Act against how society says I should act, I'm a hippie in a sense.

Maybe your should free yourself, let yourself go, and maybe your emotions will follow.