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    TsutaShine's Avatar
    TsutaShine Posts: 21, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Dec 16, 2014, 08:57 AM
    My crush/ the whole class thinks I'm annoying
    The boy I met is my IB classmate this year, we were arranged to sit next to each other and that's when we first became friends. I was literally a loner the whole time and struggling in narrowing the gaps between myself and the others, in those 3 months he was exceptionally kind to me, he was like my older brother and gave support when I'm having emotional problems etc.

    He's also academically strong and he's basically the elite of the school, me on the other hand will compare myself with others (unawarely) and have trouble passing many classes so far, I look up to him the whole time because of his grades, then I realized I've become more and more concerned about him.

    Basically having him around is what keeps me sane, I'm not lying.

    Our class once had a group project and we both agreed to work with each other, he's a reliable team leader so at first I was glad about it, but we had a conflict, at some point he once said my analysis was very poor, I was mad at him for saying that so I argued with him on the internet chat, he angrily rebuffed at me and said I was being an emotional burden to everyone, being a selfish girl and I'm using him. I was even more mad that time because I didn't ask to be autistic or depressed, emotional or negative, I've had trouble dealing with my own problems already and he was making it worse on me by saying that, and I would never use others, I even helped him but he completely forgot about it. Despite how much I wanted to say that, I didn't bother.

    That happened 3 weeks ago and he's been treating me differently ever since, he's ignoring me, like everyone else in class, we are currently in neutral terms but I wanted it to be positive again.

    I told my friend whom I really trust, and she told me that the class thinks I'm annoying, my crush was sadly no exception, she showed me a conversation screenshot from her Facebook chat that is my classmate gossiping about me, 'in wrong times she will talk to people she's not familiar with, and doesn't know a thing' which I will admit it's what I usually do and it's currently my situation, but the things I do making people think that way really shocked me. It took me this long to realized it, heck even when asking questions here makes me feel annoying myself.

    Back to my crush, he doesn't completely ignore me however, he only talks less frequently with me, we do keep relatively great conversations but not as much as before. I feel like I owe him an apology but so does he, after what he said about me 3 weeks ago. Every night I kept thinking about it and it's been bothering me a lot.

    I wanted to tell him about this but I had no chance, it is getting worse overtime because he's been busy with his IB CAS activity arrangements, he physically spends less time with me as well, I wanted to join in but of course I wasn't part of the group, so I didn't bother. Don't get me wrong, I could understand his situation and I didn't mind it before, but now it gives me this strange feeling that he doesn't want to talk to me anymore, it felt even more lonely for some reason.

    I'm hate screwing up for others and I didn't mean to, especially screwing up for him. I don't want to lose it because of him.

    What exactly can I do now? I just want him to like me back or at least be like before. Should I just give him time or what?
    And also, what exactly can I do to make myself less annoying in front of the class, if that's really the case?
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,593, Reputation: 2941
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    #2

    Dec 16, 2014, 09:54 AM
    Be glad that he and others are willing to tell you how you annoy them, that's the first thing. Really mean ones ignore you and talk behind your back.
    Then LISTEN and work on what they are saying.

    Here's where I see the crux of your problems:
    "..he once said my analysis was very poor, I was mad at him for saying that .."
    He's one of the best students, and you struggle, yet you chose to take that personally instead of asking how you could learn how to do it better!
    From there, I see you taking a lot of things personally.
    Try to stop. It won't be easy, because teens do tend to take things very hard.
    Go to him and tell him that you are sorry, that you want to learn not only your studies but also how to act around people, from his and other's critiques, and that you are going to try.
    If he offers to help, good. If he doesn't, just proceed without him. He will notice as you mature, and maybe you can be friends again.

    Another key phrase to remember, besides 'don't take things personally,' is 'get outside of yourself.' Think about OTHER people more. Compliment them. Ask them how they are, or what they like, or what they thought about a class, or what it was like when they were small... anything about them rather than you. You will be amazed at the results.
    Good luck.

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