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    derwon25's Avatar
    derwon25 Posts: 33, Reputation: 1
    Junior Member

    May 30, 2015, 09:35 AM
    I am not very fast in making friends, is that a negative ?
    I recently got placed in am MNC and since its my first job, I am a bit conscious.

    Its been a fact that all through my life I have been really slow in making friends but ones I am friends with someone slowly and gradually, that becomes a life long relationship for me and the person.

    Secondly my group interaction or forming a group quickly for example when a fresh batch starts most of the people who talk a lot or are extrovert quickly form a group while I seriously lag behind in that.

    Moreover, for the first one year in any new place I am almost a loner until I see someone genuinely showing interest in being friends with me and slowly we develops the bond as the time passes. Its like a slow process for.

    Pros: I have friends that I can really count on and who really adore me.

    Cons: Facing loneliness for quite some time until I make a couple of friends of my own plus I am not being invited to most of the parties since I am poor in group socializing but that doesn't bother me since my friends give me all what I need but until I make them its bit of a loneliness that troubles me.

    Now, since this will again be a new place I know what's coming. Again the same loneliness may this time less cause I have a friend who also got selected with me in this company itself but still it will be.

    Will my incapability to socialize immediately rather I take my time to observe and open up, prove a disadvantage for me in my career growth in corporate??

    Please help to give me a direction how to handle myself.

    Oliver2011's Avatar
    Oliver2011 Posts: 2,606, Reputation: 746
    Ultra Member

    May 30, 2015, 10:14 AM
    You don't need direction. You are handling things just fine. If something works for you then continue to use it.

    To me picking out the right friends who will be long term friends is much more important than a few lonely days. And be honest with yourself - Anyone moving to a new place faces the same obstacles you are facing. So don't beat yourself up for it.

    There are things you can do to meet people more quickly. Sign up for a club, lessons, or go to a church of your choosing. Whenever I'm feeling lonely or down I watch a comedy on YouTube. That helps me.

    Good luck.
    derwon25's Avatar
    derwon25 Posts: 33, Reputation: 1
    Junior Member

    May 30, 2015, 11:30 AM
    One more thing please, many people when see me for the first time or in first two three interactions owing to my build or personality or I don't know what dl consider me angry and thus get afraid of me :( might be they think m strict or rude or dominating and may be I am.

    I Don't know, I deliberately don't hurt anyone and wish to help people as much as possible. I don't want anyone to be afraid of me. What should I do...

    Or think it the way one of my friends told me... think and care about people who give meaning to my life and vice versa.. Leave the rest as what people think is their prob not mine.
    talaniman's Avatar
    talaniman Posts: 54,328, Reputation: 10855

    May 30, 2015, 11:59 AM
    Relax, you can interact with people and not make friends. Loneliness is but a state of mind for those that depend on the group to feel happy and secure, and involved.

    It helps to love your own company and know how to entertain yourself YOUR way, be it with friends, or strangers. The key is being confident and open to interacting with all people in many venues, and activities. Practice makes perfect so just be yourself, and live and don't confuse ALONE, with LONELY.

    Big difference. Also consider maybe you are bored and cannot think of things to occupy your time without the company of others. I see that as a personal issue to resolved. The bottomline I think is be confident enough to live and explore your world with others and alone.

    Just love yourself as you build a life that you enjoy and be grateful for the happiness it brings you and don't sweat the other stuff. No hurry, takes time if you do it right, and that's part of the enjoyment.

    Lighten up on yourself.

    I am not very fast in making friends, is that a negative?
    NO, not unless you make it one. Why would you?

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