My 30 year old daughter is emotionally a teenager. She blames me for most of her problems that she deals with. Her teen years were horrible for all of us. We as a family went to counseling to help us over come some of the problems. It helped for a while but then everything seemed to get stuck in the same old rut. It’s been this way for years. How can we go forward? I am sick of feeling like a failure. How can I get her to understand that I am truly sorry if I made her feel bad about her self? I didn’t do it on purpose. I just loved her and tried to teach her right from wrong and to have compassion for other people. She makes it sound like I spent every day wondering how can I make her life miserable? She seems to blame everyone and thing around her for the bad things that happen to her in life. She moved to the east coast to “get away from CA” because she blamed it for all her “bad luck”. Now I am the problem. I don’t “validate” her feelings and can’t accept her for who she is. She says she wants more for her children than she got as a child. I have told her how proud I am of her and that she is a good mother and she is a hard worker. She really is all of these things. It is just that she can’t get past all those teen issues she had held on to. When is it time to move on and can I help her do that?
p.s. She was adopted as an enfant, her adopted father and I divorced when she was 7. She had a fairly good relationship with her stepfather. She has two children but never married the father and he is not in their lives. She was in a mixed marriage and divorced and is currently in 2nd marriage although she had relations out side of this marriage.