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    rodeogirl2you's Avatar
    rodeogirl2you Posts: 18, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Feb 9, 2007, 03:15 PM
    Unfit Parent Info
    Does anyone know where I can find info on what determines an unfit parent in the state of Oklahoma?
    RubyPitbull's Avatar
    RubyPitbull Posts: 3,575, Reputation: 648
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    #2

    Feb 9, 2007, 03:27 PM
    I am looking around for websites that can help you.

    Here is one to get started on. All states evidently have the same guidelines.

    Mandatory Reporting of Child Abuse and Neglect - by Susan K. Smith, Atty., Hartford and Avon, CT.

    I will see what else I can turn up and repost under this question.

    I am having trouble accessing Oklahoma's government website at the moment.

    Are there specific actions that occurred that are prompting you to ask this question? Can you talk about what occurred? Maybe we will be able to have a clear cut answer for you if you tell us what happened.
    rodeogirl2you's Avatar
    rodeogirl2you Posts: 18, Reputation: 1
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    #3

    Feb 9, 2007, 05:55 PM
    I'm dealing with an exhusband with whom I've had numerous problems with. My current husband and I are at our wits end. I have to send my two children ages 6 and 2 to him every other weekend and there's been possible abuse towards my 2 year old. He has 4 other children besides my two from two other marriages and he has nothing to do with them. Signed away his rights. The only reason he has anything to do with my children is to be able to stay in my life and make me misserable.
    RubyPitbull's Avatar
    RubyPitbull Posts: 3,575, Reputation: 648
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    #4

    Feb 9, 2007, 06:14 PM
    I am so, so sorry for your troubles. I am assuming that you are going to try to use what you can find to take him back to court and get sole custody without visitation rights or supervised visitations only?

    Well, I think I found another link that will hopefully will help you. It defines abuse and neglect in Oklahoma

    http://www.health.state.ok.us/Progra...%20Neglect.pdf


    Between the two sites I have given you, they should be able to help in assessing whether you can report him.

    Please let me know if there is any other info that I can help you with.

    Good Luck!
    rodeogirl2you's Avatar
    rodeogirl2you Posts: 18, Reputation: 1
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    #5

    Feb 9, 2007, 06:18 PM
    I received sole custody in Sept of 06. He had recently remarried and ran over and killed his new wife during a fight. Nothing ever got done to him for that. He said she jumped out of the truck and she's not here to defend herself. There's too much more to it to write about. Anyway, my attorney is aware of the inncident of him hitting my 2 year old in the eye. We go back to court next Thursday. Please keep me in your prayers. You can email me personally if you'd like. I've never chatted on boards like this before. Feels kind of silly, but I thought I'd try.
    RubyPitbull's Avatar
    RubyPitbull Posts: 3,575, Reputation: 648
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    #6

    Feb 9, 2007, 06:28 PM
    Believe it or not, these boards help a lot of people. Someone in your situation may have the same problem and they can do a search on here and find their answer immediately instead of waiting for a response. The administrators have asked us to encourage people to come back to the boards and not do private e-mails for that reason.

    I hate to say it but there are so many people in your situation. It never ceases to amaze me how any adult can abuse a child. What is more amazing is that your ex was able to retain visitation rights after that "accident"!

    You are a good Mom. Sounds like you have been doing all the right things. Did you take pictures of your child showing the black eye? File a police report? I am sure your attorney has advised you on all this stuff. He is your best chance at getting the visitation rights taken away.

    Please come back and let me know what the outcome is. I will be rooting for you all the way!:)
    rodeogirl2you's Avatar
    rodeogirl2you Posts: 18, Reputation: 1
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    #7

    Feb 9, 2007, 07:11 PM
    Thanks Rubypit! I'll let you know how things go. Yes I took pictures and have other pictures of his little bottom blistered from sitting in a dirty diaper for so long. Like I said, there's too much to type, just keep us in your prayers if you are a believer and I'll let you know how next Thursday goes. Thanks again.
    RubyPitbull's Avatar
    RubyPitbull Posts: 3,575, Reputation: 648
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    #8

    Feb 9, 2007, 07:13 PM
    The Pitbull sends you hugs and sloppy pitbull kisses for good luck.:p

    We will keep you in our prayers!
    rodeogirl2you's Avatar
    rodeogirl2you Posts: 18, Reputation: 1
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    #9

    Feb 15, 2007, 11:25 AM
    Dear Rubypit, we went to court today and the court ordered a "parenting coordinator". My current husband and I were able to sit down and voice our concerns with this lady. My ex will also have the opportunity to do so. Unfortunately he has pulled the wool over so many peoples eyes in this whole ordeal, my worry is that he will do the same to this woman and play the victim. I just pray that this woman is wise enough to see through his charade and will do what is best for my children. My ex is the most smooth talking con artist you've ever come across. Only myself, my current husband, and ALL of his ex wives and girlfriends have seen the real "HIM". I'm so frustrated. He is such a hazard to the lives and well being of my children due to his anger, alcohol abuse and drug abuse. Seems like unless your child is laying in the road dead or there is actual physical evidence of sexual abuse the system does nothing to protect our children. Just need lots of prayers at this time. We go back on March 14th and the parenting coordinator will give her thoughts and opinions to the judge as well.
    RubyPitbull's Avatar
    RubyPitbull Posts: 3,575, Reputation: 648
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    #10

    Feb 15, 2007, 03:23 PM
    Rodeogirl, thank you so much for stopping by and letting me know what is happening. I was wondering how it all went.

    I know what you mean about the system. It is so hard for the people who are trying to do the right thing. I am sure your current husband's input helped.

    I will keep you in my prayers. Definitely let me know the final result. If it is not in your favor, depending on what the p.c. comes back with, I might be able to help you figure out a new plan of action. But, I am praying that isn't the case and that you will succeed in getting the protection for your children that you need.

    Good Luck & my prayers are definitely with you! :)
    robynhgl's Avatar
    robynhgl Posts: 112, Reputation: 25
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    #11

    Feb 15, 2007, 03:34 PM
    If the 'drug' issue was raised--couldn't the court order that your ex be tested?

    You've got my prayers too. Just try to be optimistic--those people who do the evaluations are probably very adept at seeing through 'the wool'.
    RubyPitbull's Avatar
    RubyPitbull Posts: 3,575, Reputation: 648
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    #12

    Feb 15, 2007, 03:42 PM
    robynhgl, that is what I was thinking. Very good point. I didn't bring it up because it is now in the parenting coordinator's lap and Rodeogirl has done what she can for now. She has to follow the rules and can't push too much or else she may alienate the one person who can really help her now. I figured if it isn't done now and the ex gets away with his con game, then it can be part of the route she takes later.

    Let's just keep thinking happy thoughts, positive prayers, and hope this will be resolved properly and quickly for Rodeogirl's children's sake.:)
    robynhgl's Avatar
    robynhgl Posts: 112, Reputation: 25
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    #13

    Feb 15, 2007, 03:51 PM
    I feel so bad that she has to wait it out, I know that I'd be beside myself.

    Rodeogirl sounds like a very intelligent woman and a caring Mom. I also think it's great that her husband is with her all the way in this. Those children are blessed to have parents that care about them so much.
    rodeogirl2you's Avatar
    rodeogirl2you Posts: 18, Reputation: 1
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    #14

    Feb 15, 2007, 09:05 PM
    I'll keep you posted sweet lady! Thanks
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    rodeogirl2you Posts: 18, Reputation: 1
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    #15

    Feb 17, 2007, 04:36 PM
    Going to give me any hints on "a new plan of action?" I could use any help at this point and any bit of hope!
    RubyPitbull's Avatar
    RubyPitbull Posts: 3,575, Reputation: 648
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    #16

    Feb 17, 2007, 04:49 PM
    Hi rodeogirl!

    You strike me as a smart lady who is using every legal option that is available to her to fight for her children.

    One of the things I was going to suggest is a court ordered drug test, as Robyn brought up. Another is to bring in character witnesses for both sides. You ex sounds like a man who has burned a number of bridges. If your lawyer is smart, he/she will do background checks on anyone your ex states can vouch for his character. You have a lot of people that can substantiate his abusive nature. And, I am sure, you have a lot of people who can vouch for you and your husband. Neighbors are always good to use, especially ones who might have seen something when you and your ex lived together. Anyone that can vouch that this guy isn't who he appears to be.

    So, give that some thought and make a list if you feel the need to do something to keep yourself busy and focused.

    At this point in time, you have pled your case. It is in the hands of the P.C. now. How did you feel when you walked out of your meeting with her? Was your lawyer with you? Did you show her the pictures? Did you feel that she allowed you to give her all the evidence and state your case fully?

    I know you are nervous and need some support. So, tell me how how you felt when you left the P.C.'s office. I will keep stopping by to check on you as long as I can tonight.
    robynhgl's Avatar
    robynhgl Posts: 112, Reputation: 25
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    #17

    Feb 17, 2007, 05:05 PM
    Hey Rodeo! I'm with Ruby on this one. Just out of curiosity... could your financial situation allow for a Private Investigator? May be a good idea to look one up--they can come up with info and even get evidence on tape. I don't know how much something like that would cost--but it may be worth it in the long run.
    RubyPitbull's Avatar
    RubyPitbull Posts: 3,575, Reputation: 648
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    #18

    Feb 17, 2007, 05:20 PM
    Good thinking Robyn.
    rodeogirl2you's Avatar
    rodeogirl2you Posts: 18, Reputation: 1
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    #19

    Feb 18, 2007, 05:43 PM
    Hey girls. Thanks so much for the posts. Y'all have such great ideas, unfortunately I've exhausted most all of them. The only things we can bring up in court now are things that have happened since I won sole custody back in Sept. I know that's sounding pretty crazy but it's the truth. When my husband and I talked to the PC she said she was only interested in things since Sept. Yes, I showed her the photos and told her that she needs to know his history of walking out on 4 other children and the abuse on his ex wives. She let me talk a little, but then said "look, I'm not here to take sides, only here to do what's best for the kids". Really made me upset. It's almost like they don't believe a guy could be this evil. I told her I wanted to give her names of people to call that could vouche for his behavior and she said it wasn't necessary at this point. Talk about wanting to pull your hair out!! Friday night my husband and I went to dinner and a young lady stopped and asked if my name was... and I said yes. She proceeded to tell me that she was the ex wife recently of one of my ex's friends. She told me they were both doing drugs real bad. She was there with her family and kind of gave me a look like don't say anymore, and I said, well here's my number call me and we'll talk horses cause apparently we both rodeo. I'm praying she'll call and I might get some more information or that she may be willing to testify. Again, it's all in the Lord's hands and what an awesome God we have. Just pray for my patience and peace. Thank you girls so much for caring enough to write back!! Lot's of hugs to you!
    rodeogirl2you's Avatar
    rodeogirl2you Posts: 18, Reputation: 1
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    #20

    Feb 18, 2007, 05:45 PM
    Private Investigators are very expensive!! I don't know yet. We'll see what God brings our way.

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