I have a 16 year old son, he's disrespectful, hateful, foul mouthed and the boundarys we set mean nothing to him. I can't let him disrupt my home any longer and want to throw him out. Is there any way I can get him out of my house legally?

That's not really motherly o.o Taking the easy way out? And no. Maybe have him to stay with a aunt or someone close. You might be able to give him to someone else but again sounds like the easy way. Try theorpy and/or being a parent. Don't take that stuff from him.

He didn't get this way overnight. Please go with him (or even without him) to a counselor who works with teen boys. You will learn new parenting skills.

I was hoping for some real advice. We're currently IN counseling... that's gotten him off the drugs... Motherly?? no... I'm the dad. I wouldn't be GIVING him to anyone. He thinks he's a big boy... let him get a dose of reality. He's six foot three and thinks he owns the friggin world.

The counselor should be giving you advice. Most teens think they own the "friggin world". I'll bet you did too when you were that age. Keep going to the counselor.

I like your quote... it was first demonstrated by King David.

His counselor isn't offering any advice, he's just saying that he's making progress... and getting him off drugs is progress, I guess. My son does tell me often that he likes drugs and wants them, but won't do them as long as I'm around... that's his "upper hand"... but nevertheless, he's off the drugs. Now the temper... I was out of town all week and he and his mother got along fine... as soon as I get home today, he's got a chip on his shoulder... he's mad... really mad... because I told him that if he continued in his disrespectful, etc... ways, he would have to go to Texas and live with my brother... and his 4 kids... he didn't like that much, because my bro runs a tighter ship than I do. I also have another son with Aspergers Syndrome that wants nothing more than peace in the home... poor guy can't get that with his brother around. Always picking a fight with my wife or I.

Lay down some rules then, take away the computer, iPod, etc... if he does something wrong. Send him to his room if he wants to be annoying, don't go to his level. If he behaves well then give back his stuff, little by little.

That's what my parents do.

It sounds like there is peace in the home until you and your son lock horns. Can you back off and lay low? Make the rules and be consistent in how you deal with infractions. Don't talk a lot and yell -- he'll just tune you out.

What does his mother do to get along with him so well?

He has no computer access... that really hurts him because he's a WOW junkie. I took everything out of his room... bed included... and the door too. He just doesn't care and that's why I'm at my wit's end. I appreciate the fact that YOU respond when your parents implement discipline. Most kids will. I really think that the friends he's chosen have influenced his attitude toward his family... and once he leaves my front door, I can't do anything about who he hangs out with.

His mother is done dealing with him... first it was her that he had such a rough time with... then she discovered it absolutely useless to try anything with him, so she's given up. She ignores him and deals with him as necessary to function in the house... as long as she doesn't say no to anything, all is well. But surely as soon as the answer is no... all hell will break loose. I think his temper is inherited from her side of the family... seriously, all of her brothers have a HUGELY bad temper. Her's isn't too bad... I've handled it for 20 years already...

Have him go to a private school, usually less people are violent and such and do drugs (I use to go to a private school). I really don't like my family either, and if I don't usually ventilate my anger. So I just explode on my family sometimes though I think they deserver it sometimes... He needs to find a way to ventilate his anger. Maybe doing a sport or something. Mine is breaking things that I don't need anymore, its really fun. Understand though that he needs help and is going through a had time. I tell my parents I don't like them which I really feel that I don't but it would be nice if they showed a little more care in me. Just keep trying to get closer and although he will act more mad, it really helps. I would pay to have someone attempt to be close to me. Saddle all I got is like 20 dollars lol. Anyway try that. But no need to desert him. I know how that feels and that makes me more mad. I have known that feeling for 3 years and I would honestly probably not be able to handle life anymore if I was left outside forever. Think about it this way too. He will probably get back into drugs and maybe get violent and hurt someone else with his anger. Maybe have him see another councillor if this one isn't working

Ya know buddy, you may be on to something. I REALLY appreciate the insight from someone in his shoes. I was once a teenage boy... I still remember the battles my step dad and I got into. I just wanted him to love me too. I try so hard with my son, maybe I should just try harder... not ignore him, but just love on him whether he likes it or not. I do really love the kid... he just makes me CRAZY.

Do more stuff together. Nothing is/was more fun to me than to do cool things with my dad. Such as playing basketball together and its really cool when he gets into video games like call of duty. Sadly it has stopped with my dad and that is probably why I don't talk to him at all.

A side note: I know this may seem weird but when you are with your son in a public place, try to be what he wants you to be. Before you are like "Why should i change for him?" Read my example.

Example: I hate going anywhere with my mom, she fights with everyone if its not her way. She gets mad at people who didn't do anything. She really embarrasses me, so I get angry a lot when I'm with her and then a lot of fights occur. My mom never listens to what I have to say either. I will tell her something and she completely zones me out. Then when she does something wrong she blames it on me when I try to tell her. Then she yells at me in the middle of a place. Now I never go out with my mom without a fight. My dad on the other hand doesn't fight with everyone. He doesn't do it for me but he understands that it is embarrassing and things can wait till we are home. I am not sure if I confused you but just kind of respect what your son is feeling. I am myself around my dad and I am not embarrassed to be around him. When I'm with my mom I will walk away from her and ignore her. This would really help him open up to you more. And again hope I didn't confuse you.

I know how you feel, I had the same thing with my son, I took him out of pubic school and put him in a school were his behavior is not eccepable, he had to earn points to come home on home visits, if he didn't earn them he didn't get to come home,
I also gave him a choice, he either go to this school or I will turn him over to social services, I put the ball back in his court, I also when down to the court and talk with them about taking him to court for abuse, so they would put him on a tens warrant, this means that he can go to juv. At any time if he doesn't do what I say.
Now you can and there are servel places out there, I don't were you live, but here in va. There is a school called new dominion school, it's in dillwyn va. And they live out in the woods, they have to build they're own place to sleep, they eat and cook outside, there is no ac and there is no heat, there is not elect. There is no running water, they do have shower places own the grows, they can and will put they're hands own your son and bring him down if need be, they are own 500 acor of land that is in the middle of the woods so if anyone tired to run away they will not get far. They have to earn the right to go to school, they have to earn the right to go out on the town with the group, they work them from sun up to sun down. You can go to your search and put in " teenhelp" it should bring up all these school for teens like your son and some of them are free, I never had to pay for any of the school eccept for what my son needed, but they also put them to work so they can earn money to buy what they need, they do not get to keep the money on them, they open an account for them, and only the school can get to the money. You can call the school and have them send you a package about the place 1-804-983-2051. They also have a web site call threesprings.com or newdominionschool.com, there is also a military school over in virginia beach that is free. It's a 6 months. School, and they treat them just like they were in the military. You can also talk with a social worker about this. That's were I started, plus I surf the web to find these places.

In some areas, they have military schools that you have to volunteer a certain amount of hours and just make sure you can get your kid there and back. This may be something to think about. Ours is about 45 minutes away but I would do it if it came down to it. I am so sorry it isn't easier for you or your family. I really hope it works out for you.
SGt... you really have shed some light on this subject with your age and all, being honest and sweet. Thanks.

No Problem Glad I could help

Its your son. You can't just give up and throw him out of your house. You do love him right? He just has some problems that need to be changed. I suggest you get him to go to counciling. Have you tried talking to him about all of this?

I have a 24 yrs. Old who may be finally getting out of the house and I will be so thankful. I am separated from husband for 10 years & have been through hell with my son. Drugs, legal ldrugs because he is bipolar, going off meds, etc. you name it.

And my son thought he owned this house. He can be abusive. Has punched holes in the walls and I have seen him out of control. Had him taken from the house & he had to be in hospital to get back on meds & in control.

I wish I could give you some solid avice because I have tried everything (you name it). Don't let your son take complete control. I have the same situation... as long as everyone says yes everything is fine.

I will pray for you.
Sorry not to be of much help except I can sympathize with you.

Okay so I know a lot about this subject as you probably know from my name!! LOL!
My dad is really like you no... hes probably worse.
You say in your post you have another son with some type of disabilty,so I'm just thinking he probably needs a lot of attenion.
I could be wrong but maybe your son needs some to.
I mean I always do things for my dads atteniton.
His job means as much as your other son!!
Just try showing your love a bit more!
Please tell me if I healped!!
Klye Santana

From reading all of these answers and from personal experience I think were going about it all wrong. My parents have tried everything in the book with me punishing me to the max, taking away all my possesions, kicking me out to give me a dose of "reality", nothing like that is going to work. But what works is not some councler who probably has more family problems than you do. But sitting down talking to you're son. He's a human being not some puppet that you brought into the world find out what's on his mind and actually put yourself in his shoes.My parents did that and we're doing much better as a whole. You mention he's hateful. Does he have reason to be? You say he doesn't abide by you're boundaries well don't make inhuman boundaries. Don't try to control something that doesn't want to be controlled you just add more grief to yourself. And last but not least pray, pray till you can't think of anything to ask god anymore.
-Remeber we all are born selfish but it's up to us as individuals to put the consideration of others first... even if it is our son-