[abbeynormal]

I've apologized for making a dreadful mistake and asked for forgiveness. She just comes home, goes into her room and then only comes out to eat, shower and then leave. When I attempt to speak with her she just walks right past me.

[ballengerb1]

Clearly she is still very angry and tenagers can stay angry for a long time. I don't know what you did, but in time, she will talk again if your apology and changed behavior toward her is real.

[Jake2008]

Two weeks is a long time for your daughter to hold a grudge.

I don't know what you did either, but unless your actions/decisions have directly affected her in some way- did you run down the street naked in front of her high school, screaming about the end of the world- then it is time to put a stop to this.

You can only apologize so long, until it becomes an imbalance of power, and suddenly you have a 19 year old in charge of your life- at least emotionally. Would you allow anybody else to do this to you?

Send her an email if she won't talk, and tell her that you will agree to sit and talk to her only once. State a date. Tell her to have her questions ready, and if you decide to answer any of them, you will. Agree to no name calling, yelling, or arguing. This is a one shot deal.

If she refuses to talk with a clear plan in place, then I would carry on as usual. I wouldn't offer the keys to the car so easily, or provide cash for shopping, or do much more of her laundry, or prepare her meals. If she is adult enough to see herself as an 'equal', especially a 'rightful' one, then she is old enough to become an adult too, and act like one.

Go about your business as you always have, put whatever it is you have done, in the past, and realize that you don't owe anybody any explanation as to your own behaviour. If you've screwed up, you need to forgive yourself, and not allow this continued punishment from a teenager.

Short of you murdering her boyfriend, I can't imagine why she would treat you this way, or why you would allow it.

[carolynnea]

Jake, You rock. That is an excellent idea.

Your daughter will start talking when she needs something - money, car keys, signature, etc. We don't know what you did, but if you did it to protect her or out of concern for her safety, you are a normal parent. There is no manual with teenagers.

She could possibly be blowing this up to use as an excuse for breaking more rules or other bad behavior.

I know you feel awful, but as long as you chase after her she has the power - not a good thing in teenage hands. The set date and time for a Q & A answer or a final apology is an excellent way to go. Good luck!

[Alty]

I agree with Jake completely!

If she wants to hold a grudge, not talk to you, then stop mollycoddling her, begging for her forgiveness.

Stop cooking for her, stop doing her laundry, when she comes out to eat and you and your husband have full plates in front of you and there's no food for her, I'm sure she'll talk eventually.

If she wants to have a hissy fit, then let her, but don't let her treat you like dirt. You provide a home, a roof, food, and love. If she can't see that then let her fend for herself. That should get her off her high horse.