[gladysyee]

I have a son who is already 23 years old. He wanted to study overseas after his National service. He is not a hardworking boy, his school results is not good. He do not like to study as well. But he keep promising that he will study hard as he is already a young adult and he wanted to have a good future. But recently I found out he still like to continue playing computer games whenever he is free, instead of reading magazines or newspaper. We let him attend some training lessons which fees are involved but I found that he did not attend some of the classes and I presume he is playing the game station. He can talk big but with no action taken, how should I dealt with this kind of young adult? Thank you

[TruthSayer0122]

He is an adult now, so you have to let him make mistakes. If you lives with you can make him find a job and another place to live. After he is on his own then you just let go.

[positiveparent]

He really should have been taught to be responsible for his life whilst growing up, that's our job as parents to teach our children life skills and to know that they're responsible for the choices they make and the outcome of them.

However your Son is an adult and as such its his choice what he does with his life, he is only 23, and yes an adult but he can still turn his life around, with love support and encouragement, rather than being told to do so.

Encourage him, tell him you are wanting the best for him, Give him support and love not repercussions or orders.

[myview]

I agree with positive parent, at his age he is likely to rebel if given orders or else resent your good intentions as a means of attempting to control him as he will tell you its his life. What he needs is a reality check, something extreme that reaches him. An insight into someone else life so he fully appreciates the struggles other people go through - voluntary work helping the disadvantaged in a developing country perhaps - the opportunity of an adventure may appeal to him and he will most certainly learn something worthwhile from the experience. Show him unconditional love and support, sensing disappointment in a parent can be unhealthy in the future. Good luck!