[Kela1987]

So here is the deal. I post a blog about getting my 3 yr old going to bed with out me. It has gotten so much worse. I have been putting her to bed by not talking to her and just putting her back in bed every time she gets up. Well it seem to be working, like she was getting use to it until 3 days ago. Now all she does is run out of her room every single time I put her in there. And now her fits have gotten WAY worse. I don't know what to do. Tonight seems like it was the end of the world until I started cry because I feel like I can't take it any more. She has started hitting me and kicking me in my stomach, not to mention that I'm pregnant. I'M LOST! I keep trying to make rules and tell her how this is going to be. But its never ending. Its like she doesn't hear anything I say. If you have any advice please help me... thanks

[Lynda03]

I had a similar problem with my son. What worked for us was a routine. Same thing every night... bath, brushing teeth and bedtime story. Most important was the "reward". If you stay in bed tonight tomorrow we will... do something with her that she loves, or a special treat. You mentioned that you are pregnant as well. This might be making her feel uneasy as well. She knows that she won't be the baby anymore. Let her know she is and will always be your little girl, and now she is going to have to help you because big sisters are very important.

Hope this help, good luck

[frangipanis]

Can you lie down with her until she's fallen asleep?

[artlady]

Have a good half an hour to 45 minute bedtime routine.

Tell her 10 and then 5 minutes in advance*we are going to start getting ready for bed*.

Brush teeth ,do pajamas and then quiet time with you or another adult.Reading or coloring ,quiet activities only.

When you are 5 minutes from bedtime*now we are going to start to clean up* and now is the time to go to the room.Pick out a favorite teddy or cuddly.Kisses and a little cuddle for no more than a couple of minutes.

Like you have been ,if she gets up,its back to bed.No conversation.Back to bed as many times as it takes to break the cycle.

I have done it for hours when breaking the habit.If you give in one time,she will never let you forget it and you have wasted all of the lesson.

Then you have to start from scratch again.

I don't know if she is still taking a nap but if so you may want to limit her napping time,as kids get older their naps should be less and never late in the day.

I would never suggest laying down with her until she falls asleep,that is just not addressing the issue but playing into her hands.

Consistency is the key.

Firm and loving and consistent... and I would say have a cold one ready for when she is down but not with a bun in the oven :)

Good luck!

[frangipanis]

Laying down with a child until they fall asleep isn't necessarily avoiding an issue as it can be another way of managing a child's sleep time. I did it with both my children, so there was never any drama at bedtime. I enjoyed those times with my children :)

Not for everyone... as it can go against your ideas of raising independent children. This is where cultural differences can certainly come into play.

[artlady]

laying down with a child until they fall asleep isn't necessarily avoiding an issue as it can be another way of managing a child's sleep time. I did it with both my children, so there was never any drama at bedtime. I enjoyed those times with my children :)

Not for everyone....... as it can go against your ideas of raising independent children. This is where cultural differences can certainly come into play.

I certainly have done this.If my kids were ill or feeling upset about something (other than its bedtime)but as a practice I don't think it is always feasible,for one, and I think it teaches them that separation is a negative thing.

I think it best if the cuddles come before bedtime.

As you said,different strokes for different folks :)

[frangipanis]

A case of finding your own way taking into account the different personalities of you and your children and what's possible. Whatever works ;)