My son is in the 5th grade this year. He has always struggled with inattention and it has been a real long haul getting through school and getting homework done.

I know my son needs consistent direction and a consistent approach to getting his work done. But though my husband agrees with me on the subject, he does not work to keep our son on track.

He is home with my son during the day after school and only he can be there to say "its time to do your home work, you can play IF you get your home work done."

Instead he allows my son to do whatever he wants until I get home. Then, from both of them I hear, "its dinner time" "such and such show is on". My son only settles down to home work at 7 or even 8 most nights. This is far too late for him!

He is too tired. I am too tired. By that time I have been on the go for the last 16 hours or so. I am beginning to resent having to use what little free time I have to be the homework enforcer.

Even though I tell my son it is his responsibility to do his work, my husband does nothing to reinforce this.
I know my son will never "get it" unless he gets the same message from both parents.
How do I get my husband on track with me so we are consistent and there is less stress in the evenings?

Take him aside and talk to him quietly and privately. Express your concerns for your son's education; point out to him that it undermines your authority when he allows your son to do as he feels until he's ready to do his homework, but don't attack him for it.

I agree fully - Talk direct to your husband and put your point across about the way his actions makes you feel doing what he is.

Do this well away from your child sight or ear shot. You will probley find that he may not even know that he was doing this.

Talk to both your husband and your son, lay out the problem and tell them that it would be nice if your husband could get your son started on his homework <<because it sounds like he gets home before you>>. Then your son could possibly have his homework finished before dinner and you'll all have the evening to yourselves instead of you rushing to help your son do his homework

I agree... discuss it with him and express the importance of his involvement. Unless your son is a self-motivator, things will only get worse as he gets older.

IF he still doesn't get it, enlist the help from his teacher during a parent conference. Sometimes partners get tuned out, but hearing that your son is having difficulties from the school, along with suggestions of things that can be done at home, may cause him to take more notice.

After school tutors, and of course husband sleeping on the couch a few nights may get the message across