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    BelindaCheryl's Avatar
    BelindaCheryl Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    Sep 10, 2016, 05:06 PM
    I hurt my daughter's feelings
    I am 55 years old. I said something my daughter didn't like. It was true but I didn't mean it Harmful and now my daughter will not talk to me nor will she let my grandchildren talk to me. It hurts do bad.
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,299, Reputation: 5646

    Sep 10, 2016, 06:30 PM
    I'm sure you are hurting. How can we help you?
    BelindaCheryl's Avatar
    BelindaCheryl Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
    New Member

    Sep 10, 2016, 06:43 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by J_9 View Post
    I'm sure you are hurting. How can we help you?
    I would like to hear some ways others have dealt with this.
    J_9's Avatar
    J_9 Posts: 40,299, Reputation: 5646

    Sep 10, 2016, 07:05 PM
    It would help us help you if you would give us the story. What did you say?
    teacherjenn4's Avatar
    teacherjenn4 Posts: 4,005, Reputation: 468
    Education Expert

    Sep 10, 2016, 08:06 PM
    I agree with J9. If you could provide us with what happened and what you said, it would be most helpful.
    joypulv's Avatar
    joypulv Posts: 21,593, Reputation: 2941
    current pert

    Sep 11, 2016, 05:11 AM
    You don't mention an apology. You just say it was true (but didn't mean it? What does that mean? You didn't mean to say it out loud?)

    What I'm getting at is that you don't seem to understand that sometimes you have to apologize - with no buts. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, that was hurtful, there was no excuse for it. I hope that you can forgive me.

    Then you wait. You don't ask when. You don't give any reasons or excuses. You WAIT.
    catonsville's Avatar
    catonsville Posts: 894, Reputation: 91
    Senior Member

    Sep 11, 2016, 06:05 AM
    All I can say is, it is a shame when a parent teaches their children to take sides against a Grand Parent in an adult dispute. Poor teaching on the part of the parent.
    Cat1864's Avatar
    Cat1864 Posts: 8,007, Reputation: 3687
    Marriage Expert

    Sep 11, 2016, 07:10 AM
    I agree that more information is needed.

    You give very little detail and ask us to read between the lines to give you advice.

    When I try reading between the lines, these questions pop up:

    How long ago did this happen? Was it just about her or did it also involve her children or anyone else such as her husband/boyfriend/etc.? Is she concerned that by spending time with you the children will pick up on your opinions and undermine her parenting?

    Why did you say what you did? Were you trying to hurt her at that moment to win an argument? Is she concerned that you might lose control and emotionally hurt the children?

    Are you more concerned about seeing/talking to the grandchildren than you are fixing the relationship with your daughter?

    I have a feeling that this is not the first time you have "hurt her feelings". If it isn't the first time, I do think it may be the last time she accepts it.

    The only advice I can give is to think about what happened and try to see the events from her point of view. I know you think what you said is the truth, but is it to her? The Truth is very rarely straight forward. The sky isn't always blue.

    You might think about reaching out and asking her to sit down and talk with you. Sending a thinking about you card with a brief note asking to talk might be a way to show you care and you aren't going to press for more until she is ready.

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