Our 17 year old daughter (Senior) is in an abusive relationship with a 16 year old (Sophomore) since 2006. The abuse has been verbal so far - no friends - girls or boys, no make up, baggy clothes, no social outings even with parents, crying & pleading on the phone and constant "checking in". But I fear that it could quickly become physical because of his anger issues. To make matters worse the boys mother is totally committed to this relationship and will stop at nothing to make sure my daughter and her son stay together. When she sees that their relationship is in trouble of ending, she's told my daughter about her son being abused as a child and now currently that "she (his mother) is dying". Of course these circumstances make my daughter feel terrible to leave him and his family* who needs her so much!

*Before my daughter and this boy met, my daughter had "brought his little sister out of her shell at daycare" through a High School child care class which his mother could not thank my daughter enough for.

We have not forbid this relationship but have put firm limits: outside of school one of us (my husband or I) must accompany them as he treats her well in our presence; must use phone in kitchen and we make her end the call when she starts crying apologizing or pleading. But this is totally destroying our family - we have a 13 year old daughter as well. As of today, my daughter is not speaking to me which I feel is a result of her boyfriend's mother who does not have a good relationship with her mother and has told my daughter that a relationship with her mother is not important.

Is there anyone out there who has gone through this and been able to stop the abuse? If so, HOW?

Looking forward to hearing from you.

You are the adult. You need to FORBID this "relationship" NOW. This is not okay. And you have the control. You are the parent. She needs to stay as far away from him as possible. Get a restraining order if possible. This could turn ugly, fast. Why are you even risking your daughter's safety? It's unhealthy. I would suggest family counseling.