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sadmommy88 · Dec 4, 2010, 12:27 PM

I am a struggling mother of 4 my oldiest who is almost 6 lives with her grandparents and father who take care of her.I am currently paying child support but I do not get to see her offten but that is my fault as I do have my hands full with the other 3 sibilings and bieng so young only 23 it is very hard for me.The father has primarl placement which I gave him voluntarily I love my daughter with all my heart but believe her fathers side of the family can provide for her more than I can finacially.She is very happy where she is.I am very sick and unemployed I hate the fact of being able to see her one day and not pop up again for months... is it wrong to want to give up my parental rights ? I believe it is best for her, she has a wonderful women in her life who has taught her a lot of what she know today HER GRANDMOTHER who she calls ma.

cdad · Dec 4, 2010, 01:05 PM

What do you expect to gain from "giving up your rights"?

Your not getting out of child support if that is what your thinking. That would only happen if someone were to take your place such as in adoption.

You created the situation your in. The courts aren't going to let you just sign rights away. So forget about it and get your life together for her and the other children.

Joanrrt · Dec 4, 2010, 03:55 PM

Having children is a huge responsibility that does not just go away. In California courts, the children always come first. If you are medically unable to work and pay your child support, the Court may defer it, but I have never seen a case where is is waived. I don't think a person has the option of giving up their parental rights, unless, as CalifDad said, someone else is attempting to adopt the child.

ScottGem · Dec 4, 2010, 05:32 PM

There seems to be a misconception that parents can just give up rights to their children. Sorry, but that's not the case. Only a court can terminate parental rights and they are very reluctant to do so. I don't see any grounds for getting a TPR in your case.

Fr_Chuck · Dec 4, 2010, 06:24 PM

Agree above, first I see no reason the court would even consider allow you to give up your rights, and in this case if you did, you would still have to pay child support

QLP · Dec 5, 2010, 03:28 AM

I know you are young and struggling and I really do feel for you.

However, I have this awful picture in my head, of your oldest child, somewhere down the line asking herself, 'what is wrong with me that my mother didn't want me like she wanted my brothers and sisters?'

I know you are trying to do what you see as best for your children but please try and remember that the thing they need above all else is your love. You are sick and struggling financially, but hopefully that won't always be the case. It will be one thing to explain to your daughter in the future that she couldn't stay with you because you were ill. It would be quite another explaining why you gave up on her altogether.

Have you looked into getting all the help you can? If you are too ill to visit your daughter regularly can you ask the father to bring her to visit you? Are the other children to the same father? Do they get to see their dad?