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Lena0623 · May 7, 2008, 05:21 PM

I am 52 years old and still riding the guilt train with a mother who has always hated me. I grew up from a little girl hearing her say "I hate your father" and "you're just like your father." Growing up and being a grown up, I have had to live with my mother hating me. I'm an only child, and my mother lives with me and my husband and stepson. I want her to leave, she always threatens to, but she won't go... because she has no place to go. I'm on blood pressure meds now and I know having her with me is the reason. How do I get her to go besides throwing her out and looking bad with all of my cousins?:( :( :(

Emland · May 7, 2008, 05:31 PM

I'm guessing your mom is on social security by now. There are many apartment complexes that are dedicated to seniors and they base rent on income (that's how my mom's works). Check out the ones near you and find her a place. My mom lived with me for years and life is much better now that she is on her own. She will probably be nicer to you, too. Familiarity breeds contempt and I believe it is the worst between daughter and mother living in the same house.

Fr_Chuck · May 7, 2008, 05:41 PM

Tell her you want her out, nothing is going to happen until you are willing to stand up for yourself.

startover22 · May 8, 2008, 12:10 PM

Like Emland said, if you give her other options (she isn't going to go look for them herself) it shows you care about her, but just can't do it anymore. I don't see a problem at all with that! Good luck!

JBeaucaire · May 8, 2008, 05:21 PM

It is SOOO hard to kick someone out. I feels heartless, doesn't it. But you really need to do it. Talk with your husband and FIRST get him to agree that you two need to be out from under her influence, that her presence is hurting your family.

Then get brutal and come up with a plan you can live with to implement it.

Move. Tell her you're moving on June 1 and you've decided now is the time to get her back on her own. Let her know you'll happily help her get packed and settled in wherever she chooses, but your new house won't have room for live in relatives.

Then move. Maybe you'll get lucky and she'll move out, but if not, then you have to close the doors and move out. Move back later maybe if you must, not really sell your place, perhaps, but you get the idea.

You have to be grownups here. This is a sad song, but you have to face the music if you want your life back.

Oh, and she'll hate you all the more for this. Oh well.

mahir_1857 · Jun 28, 2010, 05:22 PM

I am 19 but I really feel like 60 yrs because of my mother she likes hurting me with cruel words and when I cry she says that I am acting when I try to explain myself she says that God will see to you and Will punish you for disobeying me she has total control over me and she don't even let me make any friends or to call them sometimes I feel so helpless because in our country we can't live separately from our parents we depend on them till our education is completed. I know what you can feel because I am going through the same path.

mrshodges · Jun 29, 2010, 08:36 AM

Originally Posted by mahir_1857

i am 19 but i really feel like 60 yrs because of my mother she likes hurting me with cruel words and when i cry she says that i am acting when i try to explain myself she says that God will see to you and Will punish you for disobeying me she has total control over me and she don't even let me make any friends or to call them sometimes i feel so helpless because in our country we can't live separately from our parents we depend on them till our education is completed. i know what you can feel because i am going through the same path.

You need to start your own thread but I will say I would put my nose to the books and get out soon. Just my opoion but I think God would punish her for being mean to you. Yes you should listen to your mom But not when she belittles you.

mrshodges · Jun 29, 2010, 08:37 AM

Originally Posted by Lena0623

I am 52 years old and still riding the guilt train with a mother who has always hated me. I grew up from a little girl hearing her say "I hate your father" and "you're just like your father." Growing up and being a grown up, I have had to live with my mother hating me. I'm an only child, and my mother lives with me and my husband and stepson. I want her to leave, she always threatens to, but she won't go......because she has no place to go. I'm on blood pressure meds now and I know having her with me is the reason. How do I get her to go besides throwing her out and looking bad with all of my cousins?:( :( :(

I think it is time to worry about you and not every one else.