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    candle86's Avatar
    candle86 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #1

    Jan 4, 2009, 09:40 AM
    My ex left me but is pregnant
    My ex girlfriend and me broke up, she never wanted to spend time with me except for in bed, she spent 99% of her time smoking pot and hanging out with her friends. We did live together for 3 weeks prior to the break up, and in all that 3 weeks I saw her maybe 4 hours, and that was right before we both went to bed. As I was getting my stuff out of the house, its my dads house and he refuses to ask her to return to her parents house where she was staying, so I was told to leave, she struck me several times in the face. I did call the cops on her for this, but she got all teared up and said I threatened to kill her so she hit me.

    Now she thinks she might be pregnant, she is late on her period by 2 weeks, and a pregnancy test said she is. Now I tried to talk to her about this to be informed I will not be on the birth cirtificate nor have any rights to see my own child, she will ensure that, by getting a restraining order agasint me. Now the court trial for the assault charge she pressed agasint me hasn't occurred yet by any means, but I am worried none the less. I am more than happy to pay child support, and I would really like to be able to know my child. I know I can get a paternity test, but how will her restraining order agasint me affect me being able to see my own child.
    candle86's Avatar
    candle86 Posts: 2, Reputation: 1
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    #2

    Jan 4, 2009, 09:52 AM

    To add some information

    She does pop pills and does smoke pot, I overlooked it as she is 18, I am almost 22, and figured she would grow out of it. She has now moved with my father and his family of 3 to an RV, a small 2 person RV at that. She lives with him, his girlfriend and his and his girlfriends 2 kids, soon to be a 3rd kid there from my dads girlfriend. She does work for my father, he is a contractor for the phone company, but he owes 20 thousand to my mother in back child support for me and my brother and sister. Another 13 thousand for medical bills he was supposed to pay, and another 30 thousand he was ordered to pay by the court during the divorce, as he got to keep all the property cars etc, but was ordered to sell all but his primary car etc by the court, as it was all joint ownership, he did so but pocketed the money. He now is paying that back, through wage garnishment, and can not afford to even fix the house, the roof has fallen in, so they live now inside an RV when he couldn't make rent.

    Can her living conditions and drug abuse stand up in court to allow me custody. I don't want to take her rights away, I understand a parents role for a child and wouldn't want her to not know the child, even with how she acts and what she does, I would still want her to be in contact, supervised until she is clean, and then of course unsupervised contact. Im utterly concerned though for my own child.
    amayko's Avatar
    amayko Posts: 5, Reputation: 0
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    #3

    Feb 6, 2009, 02:43 PM

    You may want to ask this question in the legal part of this web site and maybe a lawyer could respond telling you what your rights are. I can't give much more than an opinion in the matter because I am no expert on the law when it comes to custody as I have never had to go to court for something like this. I would think that you could ask for her to be drug tested when the case does go to court.
    JudyKayTee's Avatar
    JudyKayTee Posts: 46,503, Reputation: 4600
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    #4

    Feb 6, 2009, 10:29 PM

    You would go to Court and request custody because she is unfit and prove that she is; you could go to Court and request visitation. She will most probably counter with a request for sole custody and support. The Judge will order DNA testing and if you are the father the Judge will determine what is in the best interest of the CHILD, not the mother. This charge certainly isn't going to help you and you may start with supervised visitation but it will not "cost" you visitation with your child. If she is as unfit as you say she is the Judge will have to determine which of you would be the better parent - her with her history or you with yours.

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