My son is 18, has Aspergers/a developmental delay disorder. Simply put he is chronologically 18, not emotionally. Do to my question, I felt it appropriate to give this information. He is in college, only child left in home with a mom and dad, our home has only a few rules: 1) No drug usage, 2) No alcohol until 21, 3) Don't drive our car high or drunk. If you "slip" phone home for a hassle free ride, no punishment, day after speeches from us. 4) 1:15 AM curfew, which we told him we will remove to "no curfew" as soon as he receives "c's" or better in all his classes, which he can do and he has tutors to help him if he needs extra help. 5) Clean your room and do your laundry once a week. We pay all his expenses, within reason we give him money when he asks, since this was part of the agreement we made, if he attends college = all his classes, since working and going to school would be too much for him.

As of today, he defies the above rules, including his near daily pot usage. We took away privileges, such as gave him an earlier curfew, he ignored, so we grounded him to the house for a weekend, he said he was going out anyway, and he did. He can no longer use our car, since he drives it high, which so far he has not ignored. We found a therapist several months ago, and the therapist has said, in front of our kid, grounding an 18 year old is inappropriate, he did not offer what we are to do instead. To date, anarchy and chaos prevails, our son is in charge. We don't dare ask him to do something, it is a battle we won't win, if he doesn't want to do it, he simply says no, and there we are, with egg on our face. Not to compare kids, our others were not perfect, just did not get into drugs, and this is new territory for us. It is my thought, if our 18-year old wants to live like free from parental authority, and we have none anyway, he should move out, live on his own. The problem is, none of his friends will take him in, and he has no job. It sounds horrible, but if this 18-year old missed a meal or two, got a little cold, he may come back home and think following the rules is not so bad compared to the alternative. Any input would be greatly appreciated, in spite of our paying a therapist he is obviously not giving us the degree of advice we need.