3 yr old boy masturbating

vlee · May 15, 2007, 10:18 PM

Here is the reality, children do not have the inhibitions that adults do... if a child discovers something that feels good, he/she is going to do it. Honestly, making a big deal of it will only force your child to feel ashamed, which will follow him into adulthood. The bounds of such things don't end with masturbation, it could lead to feelings or guilt or shame associated with ANY sexual activity. The best thing to do is discourage anything public, but allow him the freedom to do whatever he likes in his own room. It is hard to deal with, but looking out for your child's self esteem and future sexual identity are important.

rosepedal · May 19, 2007, 05:01 PM

At this age children have just found out about their 'private parts' your son might be feeling something but it is definitely not what you think. He might be mimicking something he's seen before, but children do bounce on balls and he might have just started with playing with the ball and found he felt something when he did it.

rachelander · Jul 1, 2007, 11:05 PM

Originally Posted by mike145k

i disagree you need to discourage your son from masterbating,specialy using an object as a partner Its not a very healthy form of entertainment for a 3 year old it may lead to other forms of bad behavoir,get your son undercontrol introduce other activities,such as video games and yoyo's, coloring books,etc.you say he does it at night time keep your attention on him and make sure he doesnt start to masterbate with his hands that will be the next step,if he does, make him wear some sort of mittens or fingerless gloves that has helped,in some cases,but dont worry to much just show him the proper way to behave.

That's the kind of response that these parents don't need. There is nothing wrong with this activity. No need to discourage it either. It's perfectly normal. It feels good, and that's why he's doing it. If you make a big issue out of it he's just going to be embarrassed, he's going to think he's doing something wrong, and who knows, those thoughts may stick with him until he's an adult. And then will he be able to have a healthy sex life as an adult? It's best to ignore it. Take away the ball and hide it if the noise is keeping you up at night, but don't make him feel ashamed. Do not make him wear mittens!

MomNC · Jul 2, 2007, 03:36 PM

Hello,

My husband and I are faced with the same problem as Nikki328 is facing. A few weeks ago I walked into our living room and found my 4 year old son laying in the floor doing the same thing with a ball, but he had wrapped the ball up in a shirt and was doing this. I have to say I was very shocked to see this. My first reaction was to scold him for doing this but my husband and I both agreed that may not be the best way for us to handle the situation. So at that time we decided that what he was doing had to be a normal thing for a child his age and neither one of us said anything about it. This afternoon I caught him doing the same thing... I don't know what to do or how to handle this. I'm considering talking to his pediatrician to see what he says about this and how we can deal with it until he loses interest in these urges he's having.

rachelander · Jul 2, 2007, 05:42 PM

I have an almost three year old and I have worked for several years in preschool and toddler rooms. I have seem so many boys between 1 and 5 and this is what I have been told by "the experts". They say that the best response is to say "it's ok if you want to touch yourself that way. I know it feels good. But that is something that you only do in private. So, if you want to touch yourself you need to do that in your room." Don't make them think they are in toble, or that what they are doing is bad. It's a normal part of a toddler discovering their body and it has nothing to do with sex. Try to remember, your toddler is very impressionalble, and your response can determine how they feel about themselves, and their bodies, for a long, long time to come.

proudmommyoftwingirls · Jul 26, 2007, 06:57 PM

Originally Posted by nikki328

Hi,
I was wondering if any parents here have ever had to confront the issue of their young children masturbating. And if so, how did you handle it? Did you take steps to try to get them to masturbate less, or at least not in public and did it work? And are their things you can do to 'help' your child not discover masturbation. That's been on my mind lately. For the last few months, me and my wife have heard some strange noises coming from our son's bedroom at nighttime, it sounded like some rocking and stuff, but we ignored it. Last week, my wife walked into his room while that sound was being made, and she saw our son lying on top of a rubber ball and rocking his waste over it, and he was quite into it. So now we knew what that sound was. She didn't say anything to him about it, but in the morning when he wasn't looking we hid the ball from him and took it away. The next evening, he was looking for it and asked if we had seen it. But we ignored the question, and still have the ball. IT has been much more peaceful at night, no more rocking sound from his bed in his bedroom, but each night he has been crying a bit for his ball. Will he get over that soon, or should we place the ball back in his room where he will find it again? I don't know if this is something to be concerned about since he has never masturbated in public, basically we just are tired of having to hear that rocking around at night. But it got me wondering how he discovered to do this, and how he discovered that placing a ball right there would feel good, I mean who just goes ahead and lies down on top of an 8 inch rubber ball and places it under their stomach? It makes me very curious as to how he has discovered this, and how his activity may change as he gets older. And he's been doing this for a few months now each night, and he's only three years old? Do other children do the same kinds of things?

I worked in daycare and we were told to tell them if they were going to do that it needed to be done in the bathroom or in their bedroom that is completely normal they are just experiementing with their bodies I'm sure everyone does it when they are litte just make sure it is done in private

mikezapwnzor · Jul 26, 2007, 09:16 PM

Oddly being able to remember way back then myself, I can tell exactly what it meant to me back then. It was just a good (and easy) way to feel good. At that age you don't think about it you just do it. Until you realize that the things you do effect other people (self-awareness) you could care less. I would just tell him that it's okay that he wants to do that and that you know it feels good, but that he needs to do it in private when no one else is around.

serialwife · Jul 28, 2007, 05:17 PM

Originally Posted by MicheleEB

I know that seems scary but it does happen and just because someone realizes that it happens doesnt mean they need help. However I think this person brings up a valid point. Even if it is normal for toddlers to masturbate, it never hurts to look at the entire situation.

I realize what I said might be scary! But I deal with sex offenders on a daily basis. I deal with their aftermath as a forensic interviewer for their victims. You'd be amazed how honest and sincere they sound during their interviews to work at schools, daycares, and parks. They just love children.
In this situation this may not be the case, but it warrants being looked at. I promise that a sexually reactive child can be serious. Yes, masturbation is normal but please be aware of who is around your children.

dancingkitty · Aug 13, 2007, 06:03 PM

I am wondering about "public masturbation".
My 4 1/4 year old son has been playing with his penis for about 8 months now.
It started with light pulling on his foreskin and progressed to full hand stimulation.
I am aware that this is normal for a boy his age to do and we have been positively reinforcing that he needs to do this in private (his bedroom or the bathroom with the door closed).
The last week or so he has become very active in his masturbation.
Last week he removed all his clothes in the backyard and sat on the deck masturbating with the neighbors kids watching. Today, while I was comparing pricesat the grocery store, he shimmied his pants down and pulled his penis out and was playing with it while sitting in the cart. It was fully erected and he was aggressively pulling on it. :eek:
I had my back to him for about a minute and a lady stood next to me and whispered that I needed to look at my son. There were about 10 or 15 people in our general area that saw him.
I can't stress enough how much we have talked to him about privacy and proper public behaviour. What else can we do?

dealwithitandmoveon · Sep 9, 2007, 05:33 AM

I'm 13 yrs old now... I remember when I was young I used to masturbate but I didn't knew it has anything to do with sex.I found out what it was this year and I was glad because I taught I was doing harm to myself.Don't worry much because I think it has nothing wrong when he grow up.

pgffgp · Sep 21, 2007, 07:30 PM

You need physiology AND parenting classes.
The first question you need to ask is: "What is puberty?"

lou1e · Sep 29, 2007, 03:03 AM

Originally Posted by mike145k

i disagree you need to discourage your son from masterbating,specialy using an object as a partner Its not a very healthy form of entertainment for a 3 year old it may lead to other forms of bad behavoir,get your son undercontrol introduce other activities,such as video games and yoyo's, coloring books,etc.you say he does it at night time keep your attention on him and make sure he doesnt start to masterbate with his hands that will be the next step,if he does, make him wear some sort of mittens or fingerless gloves that has helped,in some cases,but dont worry to much just show him the proper way to behave.

I disagree with you I have a 3 year son who plays/touches it I think and been told by my health visitor that its just another part of the body to explore which feels nice , if you make a big deal out of it you will only draw attention to that area and make them do it all the more and what's more you must never make the child feel as if theyare dirty or its really wrong they are still our babies at the end of the day they r ONLY 3!

shaena88 · Oct 15, 2007, 05:31 PM

Seriously I thinks its normal for a little kid. Especially boys. They all do it.. I have a nephew. He's 7 now but when he was a toddler. He used to hunch the floor and stuff. And I noticed that all toddler boys just love grabbing their private parts which is normal because their just discovering the privates. They don't even know that its masturbating.so it fine there's nothing to worry about