[FaceOff]

I have a very beautiful daughter that is 18 yrs old. She dropped out of her senior year of H.S. four months before graduating. She was doing fine in the sense of having good friends and enjoying her life. Then one day she decided to leave home (away from dad & step-mom) to be with her mother. As it turns out it only lasted a week before she wanted to stay with her 27 yr. old sister whom is a bad influence and turned her on to drugs. My daughter intentions were to help her sister and help take care of her little niece. Now her sister is clean (for now) but my daughter is literally homeless and on the streets saying she can fix her own problems while she's trying to come off meth. She has family like me (dad), her mom, grandma and even great friends that offer her comfort and a home. She refuses, it has to be her way. She won't go to re-hab. She wants me to get her an apartment and says that's what she needs from me for her to take care of herself. She has no money, no job, no H.S. diploma and out of touch with reality. Is there any Legal Actions that I can take as her dad to get her off the streets. Can I force her into re-hab?

[alkalineangel]

She is 18, and therefore an adult, you have no legal options there. I wouldn't go an get her an apartment, because all that is going to do is keep her from getting a steady job. I think in this case you will just have to stay open to her and willing to help, but ultimately she seems to be the type that will have to learn things the hard way. I know how it goes, I am that type. Try to talk to her about getting her own job and maybe see if she is interested in getting her GED. Tell her that if she cleans up, works hard for her school and maintains a good job, you will help her find her own place. Make her work for it though. Eventually she will see that it is worth it. Good luck and god bless.

[starsbooty]

My cousin went through the same things, and to be honest it was so hard seeing my auntie go through all the mess she put them through, so I am sorry. The only thing that I saw work for my auntie, after she stopped giving in to my cousins demands, was leaving her be. I know it was so hard for her being a parent and feeling like your ignoring you "dying" child, but tough love helps. There is a show on t.v. called intervention, all the family gets together and says, if you continue on this way, this this and this will happen, they tell their kids they will this own them. If their child has kids they tell them they will never see their kids again. And if she doesn't get help she has NO rights in the family, and YOU have to stick to it! If she calls and ask for money, tell her no, a place to live, no. and make sure you tell her it's the drugs that made her life this way, not you and your wife! If she says she has no home, tell her the drugs are her home if she was clean she would have a beautiful apartment with everything she wants... With drugs its kind of like starting over in their mind, you have to bribe them like they are children, if you do something good, ill give you a dollar! Not to jinx your daughter but in the end she will end up doing something stupid and get took to jail, that will probably be the best thing for her. They make sure she is clean fed and has a place to sleep. I'm sorry I couldn't be of more help but those are some ideas. Good luck and I wish the best for you and your family!

[J_9]

Face, I would like to tell you how sorry I am that you are going through this with your daughter. It is obvious you love her and want to do what is best for her.

Now, what is best for her is probably the hardest thing you will ever have to do in your life. You have to let her go.

You see, rehab rarely works the first time and it never works if the addict does not believe they have a problem.

You should not get her an apartment as this would be enabling her drug habit. Meth is a terrible drug that is addictive from the first use.

Again, I am sorry that you have to go through this. But only she can save herself.

[robertsqueen]

I agree with J_9. You have to let her go.. there is nothing you can do until she wants to help herself. I know that this has to be hard for you... but addicts don't think that they have a problem and they won't receive help until they do. DO NOT buy her an apartment that would make you her enabler and make it so that she can take an easy way out. Good luck hun.

[Fr_Chuck]

There is sadly nothing you can do to get her off the street, And paying for an apartment is just helping her live her drug life style and help her not hit bottom and want to change.

Sadly this is the street life, as worked with them in Atlanta for 5 years.
Most would perfer to stay on the street than even go to a homeless shelter because the shelters don't allow drugs, drinking and make them bathe. So many of the homeless will stay homeless since they don't want any rules.

What you do is let her know you love her, and that you will send her to rehab when she is ready to change.

In general remember drug people will lie, cheat, steal and will esp use their families

She is going to have to wake up hungry after a bad high, and want to change, before it ever happens.

I wish there was a way to go and throw them in rehab and keep them locked away till they clean up, but it just does not work that way.

[Universal Truth]

It sounds like you have done what you could to help. I don't think any amount of effort is going to fix it overnight. Look at your options-

1. get her an apartment: you throw money at the problem, but she still has no job, no self respect and still on drugs.

2. Don't get her an apartment: you save some money but feel like an as* cause nothing has changed.

If you look at the two options above, you will notice that you are going to feel the same, and yield virtually the same results. I suggest being there when she comes to you, but only reach out to help with things when she comes to you. Don't over extend yourself, she will just take advantage of it and not appreciate it. I suggest learning how to say no

Remember that YOU didn't mess up, SHE did. No amount of you pointing it out will make her realize that. Just let her work it out and eventually she will come back.

[Adeski]

I am so very sorry about your daughter and the pain you are in over the whole situation.
I too am going through very similar circumstances and I have been just devastated and at
Times even suicidal over the guilt that I may have done wrong as her mother. In the end
All of these people that are saying - let go of her and do not help her - with an apartment
Or money... they are so right... absolutely right. Because addicts and street people learn
How to con the people they love or total strangers into helping feed the terrible lifestyle
They are choosing.. you would actually be doing her more harm then good. I have taken re-assurance
From the good people that are answering you... they remind me to be strong - not give in to her
Demands and be manipulated by my daughter. It is only people who do not know how it really
Is with addicts that say - oh, I could never be so cruel - not to help! All they are doing
Is making it all last longer and for the person not to hit the inevitable ROCK BOTTOM. Bless
You and I will keep you in my prayers. And bless all the people who really gave good, caring
Hard to face advice.

[J_9]

THREE year old thread CLOSED!