[BiWiccanAndProud]

Okay I know I just asked a question a bit ago about religion but this one is very personal and I'm worried as hell about it. I was a Morman for over half my life so was my mom and the rest of my family till we went inactive about three years ago. My grandmother however (bless her soul) is a very religious woman and throughout it my grandma has tried to make us active again. My little brother and sister go with my step dad sometimes now, but me, my mom, and my older sister don't. My grandma has given up on getting me to come back cause she knows I've found a new religion she just doesn't know what. I needed cloth for my alter and asked my grandma for several different colors of cloth (she's a sewer so I know she had alot) and she asked me what it was for. I told her it was for my religion and she just looked at me confused and said I'd have to tell her about this religion sometime.

I love my grandmother so much, she's one of the few I have left, but I'm kind of scared to tell her. She has asked me about it a few more times since I asked for the cloth but I keep avoiding it. I don't know if she believes the same thing about Wicca a lot of people do (that we are devil worshippers) or that she will believe I've "strayed away" and am going to hell. I don't want to put her through that cause she's 63 years old! I know though that I can't keep it from her forever, that I'll have to tell her sooner or later. How do I tell my Morman grandmother that her oldest grandchild has become a Wiccan? I don't want to cause her uneeded stress...

P.S. to add on (as you would know by my name) I'm also bi... this is something else I haven't told my grandma about... I'm scared she'll be upset by this as well. This is something that wouldn't be hard to hide from her but I'm so open about my sexuality I'm scared I'll let it slip that I'm bi (one of the obvious things being looking at a really hot girl in front of me or something like that). Should I let her know or just hope that I can keep my mouth shut?

[magprob]

Just come out and tell her, "Grandma, I am a gay witch." You might be surprised at her reaction.

[Kiwigal]

I know how you feel to a degree. My mother and grandmother attend a rather strict church and while I still attend church (not the same one), they tend to think I have strayed and there is some ongoing pressure to go back.

Your situation is a little more difficult. I disagree with being blunt about it (as per previous post) as this could really upset her. She's obviously interested in knowing what religion you are now, so it's going to be hard to keep avoiding that question.

Perhaps sit down with her one day and say (upfront and honestly) that you have been avoiding the question as you have been unsure of how to let her know that your new religion is completely different to her beliefs and that you didn't wish to upset her. Then let her know what you believe now, without going into a huge amount of detail. If she asks what the cloth was for, let her know - gently. It's possible she may still get upset, but it's best to be honest and talk about it.

I wouldn't let her know about being bi at this point - maybe leave that one for later when she is more accepting of your new 'religious position'. Or perhaps broach the subjects the other way around, let her know you are bi, THEN about your religion. Just keep it gentle - and remember she loves you!

[Fr_Chuck]

Well expect to be disowned, honestly, since she will believe , as I do, you have lost your soul and salvation and worshiping satan.

[magprob]

Mormons don't take lightly to homosexuals, not to mention witches. If I were you, I'd spare Grandma.

[BiWiccanAndProud]

First Fr_Chuck I don't know how you think I have lost my soul. I do not worship the devil or anything, I worship nature. I do not quite understand how worshiping nature is a sin -.-. Thank you though Kiwigal... you're the only one who is giving me any good advise. I mean my mom used to be a very religious woman... but she accepts I'm wicca and bi... well sort of. She still tries to say that it's just a phase I'm going through with the bi thing. Though magprod does have a point on the bi thing... I got in a hour long debate with someone at my old church over gay marriage rights. I don't know about their look on witch craft. I'm still very nervous though.

[magprob]

I'm not trying to judge you but I don't know why you want to lay it all on your Grandma. I mean, it's not like I'm saying you should be ashamed of it, and who knows, may be your Grandma is a witch or bisexual or both also... you never know. The thing is, if she isn't, it may really strain your relationship to the point of being awkward. Maybe you don't accept yourself and you are trying to see if everyone else will before you can?

[ordinaryguy]

I was a Morman for over half my life so was my mom and the rest of my family till we went inactive about three years ago.

Why did you "go inactive"?

How do I tell my Morman grandmother that her oldest grandchild has become a Wiccan? I don't want to cause her uneeded stress...

As she will see it, you've left the one and only True Church, so I doubt if Wiccan is that much worse than Catholic or Baptist or whatever. She might feel slightly reassured if you emphasize that you don't worship Satan. Do Mormons believe in different levels of hell? Maybe she can find comfort in the hope that you'll go to one of the higher levels.

well expect to be disowned, honestly, since she will believe , as I do, you have lost your soul and salvation and worshiping satan.

Yes Chuck, Wiccans are the same as Satanists, and Catholics are about like Mormons, right?
You never cease to amaze me, friar. Your ignorance is exceeded only by your arrogance.

[BiWiccanAndProud]

I went inactive cause I really didn't like my religion, I wasn't connected to it at all! I just didn't have a religion or beliefs for a couple of years but then I got drawn to Wicca and I truly believe it and feel a connection to it. Isn't that the point of religion, to find a belief you can truly believe and be connected to? And no they don't believe in different levels of hell. And I accept myself just fine mega... my relationship with her is already awkward cause she has asked me about my religion but I avoid answering. I just want to know how to handle it when I eventually have to spill the beans. Like I said I know this is something I can't keep from her forever.

[oatshoney]

1. Look

[oatshoney]

LOOK, ask yourself, "why did u split off from the world? and what made you want to be a witahc and be bi."

What is so cool about it anyway. Its bad. I'm a chrsitian(sortof) but I've read the bible and in plain quotes. It says or basically "witches or anyone that practices witchcraft or worships anyone besides me(god) shall be put to death." your lucky its not 1620's or you wouldn't have a head and you would be shamed for being bi. You would have a husband by what your parents wanted and you didn't get a choice. fel lucky, its SICKOK so stop.
Wwhat alter.
What good is it for u/
Bi (whatever its bad but I more concerned about the wiccan thing, can't youy just be heavily goth and listen to heavy metal like veryone else you'll fit in and maybe you'll be understood a litt le more, and MORMANS are SCREWED UP , the trhng abput the tablets and that is B>S> OK go to a christian church. They worship god, not saints be protestant or at least catholic or just sit and read the bible... try to understand why t his happened to you.

Tell grandma
"can you help me, i dont know who, ive become and i need ur help," you might scare her though...

[Kiwigal]

Hi again

I'm glad you found my reply helpful. I do try to be non-judgemental when it comes to this kind of thing. Personally, I don't agree with Wicca and I'm a Christian and one of the reasons I no longer attend the same church as my Mum and Grandmother is because I find them judgemental (I believe strongly that judgement is for God alone, and that we should love all our brothers/sisters, even if we don't agree with their lifestyle/beliefs). You aren't asking to be judged on your beliefs, you are asking for help with a particular situation - and that's what I try to provide.

It's true your grandmother may feel so strongly about her beliefs that she may be very unhappy with your decision, and it's possible your relationship may suffer - but I hope not for both your sakes. Thankfully, my family love each other and respect each other enough to agree to disagree on religious matters - and as I say God himself is the one who will judge us all at the end.

Good luck with this sensitive matter.

[BiWiccanAndProud]

You know I had a very long series of cusses and angry words I was going to say to oatshoney... but I'll just ignore it and be the more adult one out of the two of us. And thank you Kiwigal... you are the perfect example of how people should be... thank you for being so opened minded and giving me real help... I wish good karma to you ^.^. Same to you OrdinaryBoy you are both great people.

[BABRAM]

My best guess is, no matter what you say, I suspect that your G'ma may consider it a phase that you'll eventually grow out of. And that may be very well be correct. At her age, another possibility is that she might continue showing you favor in-spite of your actions, because life is short and she rather not ostracize you. If she is as sincere, as you are about yourself delving into wicca, she will continue to pray for you, either way. I'm neither Mormon or Christian, so I can't speak with certainty the normal protocol of your family's traditional religion. I'm just curious though, what god or gods, nature, magic, etc... has you searching a religion board, something so volatile and private, for the answers? I mean doesn't your belief, the organization, leaders, have some sort of support system for what ails you, and your concerns?


Bobby

[BiWiccanAndProud]

I don't have a support system or anything. A friend of mine, Deirda, was a Wicca at one point when she was younger but back then it was too much for her cause you have to do a lot of research for this religion. I got her back into it though a couple of months ago when I started researching it, cause I really wanted something I could believe in. About one or two weeks ago she told me I couldn't come to her house for Esbats anymore (Monthly celebration ritual of the moon and the Goddess). I was really upset with her cause I can't exactly make a permanent circle space in my back yard like she did, so we aren't really talking, but I don't think she would have any answers for me. So basically I'm a solitary Wicca. Deirda is the only other Wicca I know, so I have no one to rely on for help in this matter really.

And I didn't really come to a board to get help with this question. I was actually looking for Wicca pride posters cause I wanted one for my room and somehow stumbled on this site through a question a girl asked about why people think wiccas are satan worshipers. I looked over this site and figured what the heck and asked one question. Then in the middle of class I was thinking of my grandma and wanted to see if anyone here could offer me advice on the subject. I mean I looked over some posts on here and saw that I wasn't the only wicca here and that a lot of you are very open minded.

I have to say though you may be right... my mom still thinks that me being bisexual is a phase... maybe my grandma will think of my religion as a phase to and then she could cope with it. Like I've said I'm just so scared of causing her unwanted stress or having her stray away from me... she is the only one grandma I see anymore.. I only have her and one other now... I'm so scared of losing her.

[BABRAM]

OK. I think this is the catch all board being "other religion." There might actually be a "wicca" board here, though I've never looked. The older we get the less likely of change. I think you should just be with your G'ma and love her the same with family get together, and not burden her with your personal decision here. Especially since this could all change in the unforeseeable future pending on you. That's my advice and opinion. I've got a long day of work ahead me tomorrow so I'll cut this short. In Judaism we don't missionize for converts like many other religions, so if you like to explore something that will provide you with support for emotional, intellectual, and spiritual interests, visit a local synagogue and ask a rabbi all the questions you like. I hope for you the best in life.


Bobby

[BiWiccanAndProud]

Thank you Babram... I'll try it... I don't think my town has a synagogue but I could check. And if there isn't a Wicca board is there a way to get one created? I always find myself finding support groups online that turn out to be bogus or it's people who just like to sit and talk about how they hate the bigots in the world being pregides against Wicca. I just want to have decent support. But back to my grandma... so you think it would be best to just not tell her? What if I just stay quiet till she asks again?

[BABRAM]

But back to my grandma... so you think it would be best to just not tell her? What if I just stay quiet till she asks again?

Hypothetically let's say she won't get off the subject and keeps asking. First off, this is what grandmas do. They want to take care of their children, grandchildren, and with family they certainly have that right to help steer and set perimeters. I think if she pushes you to disclose what's happening in your life than she's just showing she cares about you. Likewise, you don't have to go into detail with her. In fact tell her you'd rather not go into detail. Tell her you love her, and that your studying on other religious subjects. Which I believe to be honest since you are dissastified with your family's traditional religion.

Bobby

[BiWiccanAndProud]

That sounds good... thanks a lot Babram and you too Kiwigal you both have been an enormous help. ^.^

[fallen2grace]

Just come out and tell her. She may not like it but oh well. Its your life and nobody /should/ force you to believe something you don't.