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Aurora_Bell · Apr 26, 2011, 01:57 PM

Well it happened today. Max was put to sleep. His spinal column had collapsed and he was unable to use his hind legs at all. The vet said he was in excruciating pain, and even if he had the surgery to repair what was damaged, he may never be able to walk again, and at 12 years of age she was doubtful he would recover from it at all.

I got Max when he was 5 weeks old. He was my first rescue, my first Am Staff. I was 16 and in a heap of trouble in my life. As was he. He was the product of a puppymill/BYB. He was being fed raw beef at 4 weeks of age and infested with worms and other parasites. When I was on the scene when animal control stepped in and took the dogs from the home.Max kept me grounded. He was the first dog I had that I was totally responsible for. I worked to get his vet needs met, to keep him fed, to keep him healthy. When he was hit by a car at 8 months, it was my bank account that was drained to save him. I stayed with him at that vets office from the moment they would allow me in, until the moment they forced me out the door.

I was never resentful. I loved having him in my life, and he kept me out of trouble. I took him to obedience classes and enjoyed spending hours at the library reading up on his breed. I contacted other Am Staff enthusiasts and read and learned every thing I could about the breed. He was the SOLE reason I decided in going into rescue for the bully breeds. I'm 27 and have had many dogs grace my door way, either as a permanent home or temporary homes as a salvation from being euthanized just because of their breed. I kept them safe and sound until we could find them their forever homes. I loved each and everyone in their own unique way.

Max paved the way for me to open my heart to something other then teen age rebellion. He made me realize unconditional love. He was my boy, my best friend, the strong back I could cry on when things weren't going my way. I can't believe he is gone. My hands are shaking ad my eyes are tearing up. I've answered these types of threads a hundred times over. I know I did the right thing, but it doesn't make this loss any easier. My heart is broken, and Max took a piece with him when he went.

southamerica · Apr 26, 2011, 02:01 PM

Oh Bella, I'm sorry to hear about your loss. I am glad Max is at peace now. Your story is beautiful and it sounds like the two of you had a great friend in one another.

Because of you, Max's memory will live on. You will remember all of the amazing times you had together and all of the support he gave you. You will remember what he taught you about life and about yourself. What he did for you will remain with you forever.

Stay strong, cry when you need to cry, laugh, and most importantly remember. *e-hug*

Aurora_Bell · Apr 26, 2011, 02:04 PM

Thank you SOuthy. That means a lot to me. <3

Alty · Apr 26, 2011, 02:15 PM

My dear sweet Bella, I am so very sorry. I usually find the words to comfort strangers when this happens to them, but it's not easy when it's someone I know and love.

You've told me so much about Max, even though I never got to meet him. I know how much you love him (I won't say loved, because that love is still there, and always will be).

There aren't any words that can take away the pain. I could tell you that Max had a great life, and he was a very lucky dog to have found you. I could tell you that 12 years of wonderful is better then a lifetime of nothing special. I could tell you all of that, and it's all true, but it won't take away the pain you're feeling now.

I'm crying with you, sending you all my love, hugs, and comfort. I wish I could be there with you right now to hug you in person.

If it should be that I grow frail and weak
And pain should keep me from my sleep,
Then will you do what must be done,
For this -- the last battle -- can't be won.
You will be sad I understand,
But don't let grief then stay your hand,
For on this day, more than the rest,
Your love and friendship must stand the test.
We have had so many happy years,
You wouldn't want me to suffer so.
When the time comes, please, let me go.
Take me to where to my needs they'll tend,
Only, stay with me till the end
And hold me firm and speak to me
Until my eyes no longer see.
I know in time you will agree
It is a kindness you do to me.
Although my tail its last has waved,
From pain and suffering I have been saved.
Don't grieve that it must be you
Who has to decide this thing to do;
We've been so close -- we two -- these years,
Don't let your heart hold any tears.

Author Unknown

albear · Apr 26, 2011, 02:22 PM

Sounds like you two had some great times :)
Bear Hugs Bella

Cat1864 · Apr 26, 2011, 02:36 PM

Bella, I so sorry to hear about Max's passing.

You tell yourself that you know they won't be with us forever, but it always feels like they should be. I guess they are in memories and spirit. Treasure each memory of him you have.

It may be too soon to think about, but you might want to make a book about him so that E will be able to remember him as she gets older.

{{{{{{Bella and E}}}}}}

Alty · Apr 26, 2011, 02:38 PM

George Carlin said it best. Life is a series of dogs.

It's really a shame that their lives are so short, but when you think about everything they do in their short time on earth, well, they fit 80 plus years of happiness into 12.

DoulaLC · Apr 26, 2011, 02:39 PM

So very sorry Bella... the memories will be bittersweet. He helped make you who you are today and a truer friendship could not be found.

Know that many are thinking of you and Max...

Aurora_Bell · Apr 26, 2011, 02:41 PM

Thank you guys. Alty that was beautiful. I'm bawling.

Alty · Apr 26, 2011, 02:45 PM

I love the picture of him and the cat. If that was Indy with the cat, all you'd see is the tail, coming out of Indy's mouth. ;)

What a beautiful boy. You can see his soul through his eyes. :)

Cat1864 · Apr 26, 2011, 02:50 PM

Originally Posted by Altenweg

I love the picture of him and the cat. If that was Indy with the cat, all you'd see is the tail, coming out of Indy's mouth. ;)

What a beautiful boy. You can see his soul through his eyes. :)

I totally agree with Alty. :)

Alty · Apr 26, 2011, 03:04 PM

Originally Posted by Cat1864

I totally agree with Alty. :)

About seeing his soul in his eyes, or that the cat would be dinner with another dog? ;)

Cat1864 · Apr 26, 2011, 03:10 PM

Originally Posted by Altenweg

About seeing his soul in his eyes, or that the cat would be dinner with another dog? ;)

Well... Chloe would be wondering why the cat wasn't playing. Rissa would have been peeved that the cat was ignoring her.:rolleyes:

I agree with seeing his soul in his eyes. :)

DoulaLC · Apr 26, 2011, 03:10 PM

What a sweet baby... :) He was fortunate to have you looking after him Bella, as you were to have him in your life.

Aurora_Bell · Apr 26, 2011, 03:18 PM

You're right Doula. You guys are very kind. Thanks for helping me through this.

Cat1864 · Apr 26, 2011, 03:22 PM

Bella, you shared Max with us. Thank you for that.

mogrann · Apr 26, 2011, 03:38 PM

Bella I feel your pain in your words. It is always hard to lose a loved one. I am so happy Max had you to show him all humans are not bad. You improved his life so much! Cherish your memories, your photos and try to keep something special that was his. It will be painful to see it in the beginning but later on you will be happy you have it.
Max is waiting for you on the rainbow bridge, he is in no more pain and is playing with the other animals waiting for their human friends.

The Rainbow Bridge

Owen sends puppy kisses to you as well.

Susan and Owen

redhed35 · Apr 27, 2011, 02:20 AM

I'm sorry for your loss bella, you an E are in my thoughts.

J_9 · Apr 27, 2011, 04:07 AM

I'm so sorry for your loss Bella. I'm not good at words, but you and E are in my thoughts as well.

binx44 · Apr 27, 2011, 06:54 AM

I'm so sorry to hear that honey, remember he will always be in your heart and you made his life wonderful.
Our thoughts are with you

Binx and ryu