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    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,318, Reputation: 5972
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    #1

    Feb 26, 2008, 03:26 PM
    Why are so many teens getting pregnant?
    I have been on this site for only a few months, in that time I have seen numerous posts that start of like this.

    Hi, I am a teenager, I had unprotected sex, could I be pregnant, what do I do?

    Isn't there sex education in our schools anymore. If so, what are they teaching them, abstinence? Obviously that isn't working.

    I'm here to tell all you teenagers. Stop having unprotected sex. The only form of birth control that is 100% effective is abstinence (meaning don't have sex). If you have unprotected sex even once, you have a very high chance of being called Mommy in nine months.

    I don't know how the rest of you feel about this, it just sickens me that there are so many young people who are potentially messing up their lives by having unprotected sex. Not to mention the risk of sexually transmitted diseases. What can we do about this growing concern.

    Teens, I'd like your input to. What do you need in order for you to be prepared to make better decisions in your life.
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 37,750, Reputation: 5426
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    #2

    Feb 26, 2008, 04:06 PM
    The center of life for most people used to be the family and the church. That changed. Stores and businesses weren't open on Sundays. That changed. Most women were full-time homemakers. That changed. Most families were made up of a stable unit, father-mother-children. That changed. The American dream was a house in the suburbs, a picket fence, 2.5 children, a dog, and a two-car garage. That changed.

    Since the mid-'60s, the exultant cry has been, "If it feels good, do it!" That has given people a new sense of personal freedom, but it has also caused a lot of trouble. There's been freedom but less and less responsibility. Apparently, freedom isn't free.

    Sex at almost anytime and with almost anyone has been one of those new freedoms. It feels good, but too often there's a price to pay--the inconvenience of birth control, the heartbreak of STDs, the shock of an unwanted pregnancy.

    If you don't want to bother with birth control, if you don't want an STD, if you don't want a baby, especially if you are 14 or 15 or even 18 (with your whole life ahead of you), don't have sex.

    We can't put the toothpaste back into the tube. We can't recapture the olden days of moral virtue, as some call it. We can't restore the family to being only the father-mother-child model. We can't close businesses and stores at 6 p.m. and on Sundays. We can't put Mom back into the kitchen and tie her to the stove.

    What to do, what to do to at least stop so many teenage pregnancies from happening.

    Children and teens look to the media--movies and TV--for role models. Now, if only denizens of Hollywood would wake up tomorrow morning and in one breath say, "Enough!" there might be a chance of reshaping young minds. But that won't happen.

    If I were Queen of American Sex Education, I would rewrite the lesson plans and textbooks. Anyone want to vote me in?
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,318, Reputation: 5972
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    #3

    Feb 26, 2008, 04:17 PM
    You've got my vote. I've never wanted to start a commune on a little island in the middle of no where, with no television, phones or anything as much as I do right now.

    What is our future generation going to be like? You are correct, it's the whole "If it feels good do it" mind set that has gotten us in trouble. Where does it end? How many teen pregnancies and young people with Aids do we have to have before something is done about this?

    Every time I see a new post from a young person asking if she is pregnant I want to scream. "If you had unprotected sex you might very well be pregnant, even if you had protected sex, nothing is 100% (besides abstinence) so guess what, you might be pregnant. And if that isn't enough, guess what, you might have contracted a deadly disease. Is that worth the few minutes of pleasure that you got out of it? I hope so, because guess what, now you have to grow up and deal with the choices that you made.

    Not that it would get anyone's attention, after all, what do adults know that kids don't?
    jillianleab's Avatar
    jillianleab Posts: 1,194, Reputation: 279
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    #4

    Feb 26, 2008, 04:28 PM
    Teens think they are invincible. It's the same reason they engage in other reckless behavior like drugs, sneaking out of the house, etc. They think, "It won't happen to me" And honestly, for most it doesn't. Most teens who engage in such reckless activities escape harm and turn out a-ok in their adult life. That's not to say their activities should be condoned, but it certainly helps with your world view when you and all your friends are having sex and doing drugs and nothing bad happens.

    I blame parents, by the way. It all starts at home... (in most cases, anyway)
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,318, Reputation: 5972
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    #5

    Feb 26, 2008, 04:50 PM
    I do blame parents to some degree, but let's face it, we've all been there and did we listen to our parents? I had wonderful parents that were open and honest with me about everything but I still ended up going along with the crowd because I didn't want to be teased or left out. Is that why so many young kids are having sex? Is it peer pressure or do they have bad parents?

    I'm doing everything I can to keep the lines of communication open with my kids (9 and 5) but already the 9 year old is telling me that so and so from school said this and that and it's the truth no matter what I say and what proof I have that it's total BS. So far it's just little things but how long before he starts questioning me about sex and not believing what I tell him because his friends say different?

    I certainly hope that he realizes that his mom and dad know more than any 9, 10, 11 and so on all the way to 21 and beyond knows. I've always told my kids, if you have a question then ask me, if I don't know the answer I will find it for you. If I give you an answer then it's the God's honest truth.

    This whole teen pregnancy thing has me really scared. These are babies having babies, let's face it, they don't have the sense that God gave a goat and they're out there having unprotected sex hoping that lightening doesn't strike.

    Well teens, if you are reading this let me tell you. Getting pregnant while having sex isn't as rare as being hit by lightening, it's about as rare as stepping on gum in the parking lot, having bird poop on a car that's parked under a tree with a nest in it, getting gas if you eat too many onions. I hope that this puts a little bit of reality into your beliefs kids, because being a mom at 14,15,16,17,18,19 isn't fun, don't play russian roulette, use birth control. PLEASE!
    mwilliams15's Avatar
    mwilliams15 Posts: 172, Reputation: 24
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    #6

    Feb 26, 2008, 05:46 PM
    I'm 20 and I've been out of high school for two years now. There are sooo many girls in my high school that are either pregnant or have had children. Some of which are even pregnant with their 2nd or third.

    Then you get on myspace or Facebook and you see the girls profiles. All of the girls have pictures up of their ultrasounds, their belly.. their about says: I'm so excited to be a mommy! Then everyone is leaving them comments like: wow congratulations! That's amazing!

    Pregnancy appears to be glamorized by teens now a days. It's an epidemic. It's like it doesn't matter that you are 15 or 16 with no job and still in high school. It's like we've gone back into the 1800's when people got married at 15 and started having kids. I just don't get it personally.

    I was raised in a house hold where my mom didn't finish college. She got pregnant with my sister at 21, got married, and had me a few years later... then got divorced. I was raised constantly being told that I have to do something with my life.. that I have to make more for myself so I can have the things I want and need in life, so I can raise a family securely, so I can pay the bills and put food on the table. I refuse to have a kid until I have a career and a husband.

    I had it hard growing up and I think some of these girls didn't have it as hard. Maybe their parents didn't drill it into their head as my mom did. Then again a lot of these girls that do get pregnant didn't have things well off either.. in that case I say the same thing again.. their parents probably didn't drill it in their heads to do something with their lives besides pop out kids at such a young age.

    It's really sad, but honestly I think the majority of the problem has to do with parents and how the kids raised, and another majority has to do with how they think it is cool to have a kid at such a young age.. then the rest has to do with pure carelessness.
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,318, Reputation: 5972
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    #7

    Feb 26, 2008, 05:53 PM
    It's so nice to hear from a young person (hope you don't mind me saying that, to me you are young) with a good head on her shoulders, oh how I wish there were more like you.

    I'm 37 years old and things weren't all that different when I was in high school. Teens really didn't think that they could get pregnant, even if they didn't use birth control. In my 12th year 4 girls where pregnant in my school, we went to a Catholic school. I guess those religion classes didn't take.

    What is it that teens think they are missing that they think a baby will fill. Babies aren't dolls, they don't do whatever you want just because you're the parent. It's actually kind of sad, they are probably going against their parents wishes, and yet they think that they will have the perfect child, unconditional love etc.etc. Just wait until that baby turn 15, what comes around goes around.
    lilmama19's Avatar
    lilmama19 Posts: 10, Reputation: 0
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    #8

    Feb 26, 2008, 05:57 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Altenweg
    I have been on this site for only a few months, in that time I have seen numerous posts that start of like this.

    Hi, I am a teenager, I had unprotected sex, could I be pregnant, what do I do?

    Isn't there sex education in our schools anymore. If so, what are they teaching them, abstinence? Obviously that isn't working.

    I'm here to tell all you teenagers. Stop having unprotected sex. The only form of birth control that is 100% effective is abstinence (meaning don't have sex). If you have unprotected sex even once, you have a very high chance of being called Mommy in nine months.

    I don't know how the rest of you feel about this, it just sickens me that there are so many young people who are potentially messing up their lives by having unprotected sex. Not to mention the risk of sexually transmitted diseases. What can we do about this growing concern.

    Teens, I'd like your input to. What do you need in order for you to be prepared to make better decisions in your life.
    First you girls don't need to be on here trying to make it seem like giving life no matter what age is a bad thing because its not giving birth changes the lives of many people for the better and I refuse to sit here and see ignorant messages posted like that if that's how you feel you need not be on this website because people come on here to vent and find answers from people that relate not for judgemental people such as yourselves because its not like you are the people that's taking care of these new born babies
    mwilliams15's Avatar
    mwilliams15 Posts: 172, Reputation: 24
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    #9

    Feb 26, 2008, 05:59 PM
    It is sad. I don't know what these girls need to see that its wrong. Maybe there should be a class or something made mandatory in schools to show these girls what its like to have no money, no job, and a baby... or even trying to balance school, a job, and a baby alone. Sex ed programs evidently aren't working. I think it's time that someone develops a real program.
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 37,750, Reputation: 5426
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    #10

    Feb 26, 2008, 06:02 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by Altenweg
    did we listen to our parents?
    I did. All my friends listened to theirs. Those were the days...
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,318, Reputation: 5972
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    #11

    Feb 26, 2008, 06:05 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by lilmama19
    first you girls don't need to be on here trying to make it seem like giving life no matter what age is a bad thing because its not giving birth changes the lives of many people for the better and i refuse to sit here and see ignorant messages posted like that if thats how you feel you need not be on this website becuase people come on here to vent and find answers from people that relate not for judgemental people such as your selfs because its not like you are the people thats taking care of these new born babies

    Wrong, if you don't want to read it then don't, that is your choice.

    If you think that having a child without an income or a roof over your head is okay then you need to rethink your life. This isn't an ignorant message, this is an epidemic and the only ones that are suffering are the babies that are born to these underage girls.

    You said it, people come on her to vent, well that's what I'm doing, you don't have to agree with me, heck, you don't even have to read my opinion, but you do have to give me the right to my opinion, just as I have to give you the right to yours.

    You also said that it's not like we are the people that are taking care of these new born babies, get a grip, where do you think our taxes go? We are the ones paying for welfare so that teens can sit at home playing with their living dolls. If you have a Job and can afford to give this child the life that it deserves than by all means have a child, but until that time you have no right whatsoever to ruin a babies life because of your own ignorance or selfishness. That is my opinion, take it or leave it.
    Wondergirl's Avatar
    Wondergirl Posts: 37,750, Reputation: 5426
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    #12

    Feb 26, 2008, 06:07 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by lilmama19
    first you girls don't need to be on here trying to make it seem like giving life no matter what age is a bad thing because its not giving birth changes the lives of many people for the better and i refuse to sit here and see ignorant messages posted like that if thats how you feel you need not be on this website becuase people come on here to vent and find answers from people that relate not for judgemental people such as your selfs because its not like you are the people thats taking care of these new born babies
    I tried to read this twice. I couldn't make heads nor tails of it. Please repost it with proper punctuation, spelling, and grammar. I'd really love to know what you are thinking.
    mwilliams15's Avatar
    mwilliams15 Posts: 172, Reputation: 24
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    #13

    Feb 26, 2008, 06:08 PM
    Everyone is perfectly entitled to their own opinions on this site. Altenweg I would rate your answer and completely agree with everything you just said about lilmama19's post, but it keeps telling me to spread reputation! Also, I couldn't have put it any better myself.
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,318, Reputation: 5972
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    #14

    Feb 26, 2008, 06:23 PM
    Quote Originally Posted by mwilliams15
    Everyone is perfectly entitled to their own opinions on this site. Altenweg I would rate your answer and completely agree with everything you just said about lilmama19's post, but it keeps telling me to spread reputation! Also, I couldn't have put it any better myself.
    Thank you for saying that. I think I opened a can of worms, at least were lilmama is concerned, she's ranting on my other post too.

    https://www.askmehelpdesk.com/teens/...ns-188635.html

    I guess you can't please all of the people all of the time.
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,970, Reputation: 6056
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    #15

    Feb 26, 2008, 07:11 PM
    First, Wondergirl is right. Your writing is barely intelligible. You need to learn to use punctuation and real sentences.

    Quote Originally Posted by lilmama19
    first you girls don't need to be on here trying to make it seem like giving life no matter what age is a bad thing because its not giving birth changes the lives of many people for the better
    If I can decipher this, it appears you are saying that giving birth, at any age, is not a bad thing and that it changes many people for the better. If that's what you are saying I partially agree. Having a child does change the lives of many people for the better. People who are emotionally and financially prepared to have a child. However, most of the time, when a child has a child it leads to hardship, resentment and makes life worse. Take a look at the story on Long Island where a mother murdered her three kids all born at a young age.

    Quote Originally Posted by lilmama19
    and i refuse to sit here and see ignorant messages posted like that if thats how you feel you need not be on this website becuase people come on here to vent and find answers from people that relate not for judgemental people such as your selfs because its not like you are the people thats taking care of these new born babies
    The only ignorance I see is from you. Ignorance of proper writing, ignorance of the problems of teen pregnancies, ignorance of what life is really like.
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,318, Reputation: 5972
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    #16

    Feb 26, 2008, 07:20 PM
    Hi ScottGem - I was wondering when you'd find this, I'm glad you've finally come on board, I'm getting hate on both posts now, although I have to say that more people agree than disagree.

    I do feel sorry for Lilmama, she's a pregnant teen and it's not an easy position to be in. She seems to think that this post is personally directed at her, she doesn't realize that I'm voicing my concern. After all, that is what this site is all about.

    If an intelligent conversation develops from this post and one teenager reads it and realizes what we are trying to say then we it will be well worth all the hate I'm getting.

    In the meantime, it was nice to hear from you again, am I crazy or are we on the same side this time?;)
    Synnen's Avatar
    Synnen Posts: 7,927, Reputation: 2443
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    #17

    Feb 26, 2008, 07:27 PM
    We could do a couple of things to stop the teen birth rate.

    1. Go back to the old ways that you MARRIED when you knocked someone up/got knocked up, and you STAYED married, until death. Period. When people realize that they don't get the option of walking away from the other person if it "doesn't work out" and that your "happiness" has NOTHING to do with raising a kid, providing for the child is the most important thing--well, that's a pretty big incentive to keep your pants zipped.

    2. Mandatory birth control, both male and female, starting at age 10, and proceeding until you can pass a test proving you'd be able to provide for a child AND would be a decent parent.

    3. Get rid of all Welfare programs. If you had the choice of watching your child starve or choosing adoption--well, a whole bunch of "poor, infertile couples who desperately want to raise a baby" would get that chance.
    ScottGem's Avatar
    ScottGem Posts: 64,970, Reputation: 6056
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    #18

    Feb 26, 2008, 08:09 PM
    Note: lilmama19 reported this thread with the following reason. I felt compelled to respond to it

    Quote Originally Posted by lilmama19
    all these people are trying to call me out and s__t and i didn't join
    this website for stuff i am 19 and pregnant and i will not allow this
    type of stuff to happen with people trying to make it seem like my
    pregnancy is a mistake
    No one has tried to make your pregnancy seem like a mistake. Not every teenage pregnancy is a mistake. Not every teenage pregnancy ends badly. But there is NO question that most teens are not ready for a baby, that a baby radically changes the lives of its parents and that most teens are not prepared for the pressures and disruptions that a baby means to their lives.

    Most of the people who have contributed to this thread are concerned for the teens who succumb to peer pressure to have sex with no knowledge of how to protect themselves or the consequences of their actions. Altenweg and others have contributed to this thread because of their concern.

    I must say, however, that your reaction to these threads is over the top. Your reaction seems to indicate that what has been said here strikes closer to home than you would like. And maybe you aren't as comfortable with your situation like you would have others believe.

    There is NOTHING in these threads, as yet, that violate the rules of this site so none of it will be removed.
    Alty's Avatar
    Alty Posts: 28,318, Reputation: 5972
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    #19

    Feb 26, 2008, 08:46 PM
    This post was started because of the number of posts I saw coming from 14 and 15 year old girls asking if they could be pregnant if they had unprotected sex and asking our advice on what to do.

    If you don't know that you could get pregnant from unprotected sex then maybe it's time someone told you, that's what I was doing. If you want my advice, wait until your old enough to take care of a child or abstain or use birth control (lots and lots of birth control), now you have my advice.

    Obviously some of these kids aren't informed enough about sex if they don't even know that it can cause pregnancy. Guess what, it can also cause sexually transmitted diseases, and some of them can kill you.

    If I insulted anyone, well I certainly didn't mean to do that, I'm just stating my opinion and hoping that some of it gets through to someone who really doesn't know what the reprocutions are, which, judging from some of the threads out there, are allot of people.

    Synnen- obviously you feel very personally about this subject and I do value your opinion, if your post was serious and you really firmly believe that what you are suggesting is the only way to help this problem then I regretfully disagree but I do respect your right to have your own opinion.

    If you are being sarcastic to try and teach me that there is no way to stop teen pregnancy then I have to say that you are part of the problem, no the solution, although I still believe in your right to an opinion, and I have just given you mine.

    If you want to have a discussion about the pros and cons of teen pregnancy than by all means, spell out the pros for me. Don't list unconditional love from someone, you can get that from a puppy, which is, in my opinion, the only thing a teenager should consider having. List to me all the financial and emotional pros of having a child at an early age. I personally don't know any and I'm more than willing to listen.
    Fr_Chuck's Avatar
    Fr_Chuck Posts: 81,268, Reputation: 7689
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    #20

    Feb 26, 2008, 08:52 PM
    Yes Scott I saw the report, in fact if anyone's post was out of line it was her post. This was a nice civil post not talking about any one person, but a social issue and problem in America today.

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